Matricide at St. Martha's
because she was black and was conducting research on early twentieth-century myths about Sappho.’
    ‘So far so stereotyped. Now why do you think she didn’t throw herself into the fray this evening?’
    ‘Maybe she’s still finding her feet. I leave it to you to conduct your researches in whatever way you think fit. Now, would you care to see the agenda for tomorrow morning’s Council meeting. I would particularly like to draw your attention to item 3a), Sandra’s draft equal opportunity policy statement. Listen.’
    She declaimed rather than read out:
    ‘ “St Martha’s awareness that groups or individuals may have been disadvantaged educationally or otherwise in the past, has led to a decision that the balance should be redressed. Positive steps have therefore been taken to ensure that on every shortlist for every appointment in the college a majority of candidates will be from members of groups who have hitherto shared the experience of discrimination. Disadvantaged groups can be identified according to race, colour, creed, ethnic or national origin, disabilities, sex, sexual orientation or marital status.’ ”
    ‘I don’t believe it.’
    She passed it over.
    Amiss scanned it. ‘My God, I hope for your sake they recognize fat as a disability.’ The Bursar playfully threw a cushion at him. It knocked over his glass, the contents of which soaked both the equal opportunities paper and his tie.
    ‘Dries out,’ she said cheerfully, pouring him another. ‘Read on.’
    ‘ “Often people are perceived to have had insufficient education because of preconceived opinions or judgements about what education is. St Martha’s will endeavour to ensure that through the abolition of pre-set requirements, jobs will be open to the widest possible variety of candidate. Historic disadvantage will, however, be a relevant factor in the decision-making process… ” Do I have to read the rest?’
    ‘No, that’s the nub.’
    ‘Do I understand this as meaning that the Dykes want qualifications to be unnecessary to get an academic job in this establishment?’
    ‘I think that’s about the size of it. And worse. It’s clear that they propose to apologize, through the appointments system, for historic wrongs against particular communities.’
    ‘So it’s bring on the one-legged black lesbians and only the one-legged black lesbians.’
    ‘We’re headed there. Mary Lou’s the black dyke, you’re supposed to be the crippled gay…’
    ‘And you?’
    ‘Oh, at the moment,’ said the Bursar, ‘I’m making the most of being fat and old and I’m keeping my sexuality even more of a secret than did George Eliot. Now drink up, it’s time you went to bed.’
    ‘I don’t know how to find my room.’
    ‘I will escort you and protect your virtue from any lurking sexual predators. I will also meet your cat. Now, I want you up at seven o’clock in the morning, in the garden or the front hall, to participate in the Swedish drill.’
    ‘Why?’ Even to his own ears, Amiss’s scream was heartfelt.
    ‘Because you’ve had too much of the Dykes since you’ve arrived and I think it’s time you had a blast of the Virgins. You’re not here, you know, merely to enjoy yourself. There is,’ said the Bursar, smiling evilly, ‘no such thing as a free temporary Research Fellowship.’

----
    7
    « ^ »
    Plutarch awakened Amiss by kneading his chest in a particularly brutal fashion. Casting her aside with a loud oath, he established that the alarm was due to go off in two minutes and crawled miserably out of bed to dress for the physical jerks. He was relieved to see that it was raining and that he would be spared the dank dew of an early morning in the Fens.
    He arrived clad in jeans and T-shirt and panting in the front hall at 7.09, having been delayed by Plutarch’s demand for food and a contretemps with a can opener. There were a half-dozen or so women already there, dressed in interestingly individual garments. A

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