flash of what had led to it was enough to dull the longing. The lipstick smudge...his nonchalance... our anniversary date in shambles, the argument. As if she sensed it too, Freya stirred and let out a tiny cry. I rocked her and murmured in her ear. She soon settled, but I wondered how long I would be able to soothe her so easily.
One of the attendants knelt beside me. "We found a baby cot for you," she said. "In case you want to put her down for a nap."
I thanked her and stood aside while she set it up on the floor in front of Liv's seat. She took the blanket I'd brought with me and lined the cot with it; she even found Mr. Penguin and set him there. We settled Freya into the cot and then swaddled her with the blanket.
"Is this her first flight?" the attendant asked.
"Yes...first flight, first vacation without her father, too."
"Just a trip for the girls, then."
I nodded. It was mostly true.
"The three of you will have a wonderful time together, I'm sure." She patted my shoulder. "Just let me know if you need anything else."
I thanked her and watched as she returned to the galley. Liv had shifted in her seat. Her blanket had slid down to her lap. I readjusted it and wondered if she understood what was happening. Would she forgive me if things never improved, if the only way to getting back to me was to leave Mads for good?
My sleeping girls dreamed on, probably dreaming of foxes and penguins. It was a nicer dream than the reality of being without their father.
My aunt met us at Miami International Airport with all the fanfare of visiting dignitaries. In one hand, she was waving a Danish flag and an American flag; in the other she was holding a handwritten sign emblazoned with "Halliwell-Rasmussen Family . ” Any other day, I would have rolled my eyes at such a sight but today it made me cry. Though she looked nothing like my mother, Aunt Cecily was the closest thing I had to a mother after my own mother lost her battle with breast cancer. Aunt Cecily was whom Liv called "gramma" —as close as she managed to get to "grandmother" or "grandmom . ” Even now, a still groggy Liv was squealing with delight at seeing Cecily waving flags for her. She let go of my hand and ran over to her, throwing herself into my aunt's waiting arms and giggling as she was welcomed with hugs and kisses. Freya was more cautious. The last time my aunt had been in Copenhagen, Freya was just a few days old. She'd only seen pictures of her. "Don't worry," I told my more reserved daughter as we pushed our luggage trolley over to where my aunt was waiting. "This is your gramma, and she loves you so very much."
With Liv now in her arms and commandeering the flags, my aunt gave me a fierce hug and then she patted Freya's cheeks and said, "You are a little doll, aren't you? Looking exactly like your mother when she was a tiny one!" Freya seemed to accept this. She reached out for Cecily, wanting now to be held by someone besides me.
"Thank you for letting us come at such short notice." We were walking now towards the exit for short-term parking. "I really appreciate this, Cecily."
My aunt shushed me and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Nonsense, my dear. You needed me, and I am here for you. Now let's get these two cuties to the car. You must be exhausted after that flight."
I was. I could only imagine how I looked. I was certain I had bags under my eyes, Freya's drool stains on the shoulder of my shirt. Long flights always made me crave a shower. Breathing in all that recycled air, being too close to so many other people for such a long period of time... That's all I wanted...to take a shower, to wash away everything awful and to feel whole again.
"Does Mads know you're here?"
"Not yet, no."
"I want you to call him once we get the little ones settled and tell him where you are." We were outside now. The oppressive heat and humidity slapped me in the face and made me gasp.
"Slowly, sweetie..." My aunt made me stop. "Just breathe in and
One of the attendants knelt beside me. "We found a baby cot for you," she said. "In case you want to put her down for a nap."
I thanked her and stood aside while she set it up on the floor in front of Liv's seat. She took the blanket I'd brought with me and lined the cot with it; she even found Mr. Penguin and set him there. We settled Freya into the cot and then swaddled her with the blanket.
"Is this her first flight?" the attendant asked.
"Yes...first flight, first vacation without her father, too."
"Just a trip for the girls, then."
I nodded. It was mostly true.
"The three of you will have a wonderful time together, I'm sure." She patted my shoulder. "Just let me know if you need anything else."
I thanked her and watched as she returned to the galley. Liv had shifted in her seat. Her blanket had slid down to her lap. I readjusted it and wondered if she understood what was happening. Would she forgive me if things never improved, if the only way to getting back to me was to leave Mads for good?
My sleeping girls dreamed on, probably dreaming of foxes and penguins. It was a nicer dream than the reality of being without their father.
My aunt met us at Miami International Airport with all the fanfare of visiting dignitaries. In one hand, she was waving a Danish flag and an American flag; in the other she was holding a handwritten sign emblazoned with "Halliwell-Rasmussen Family . ” Any other day, I would have rolled my eyes at such a sight but today it made me cry. Though she looked nothing like my mother, Aunt Cecily was the closest thing I had to a mother after my own mother lost her battle with breast cancer. Aunt Cecily was whom Liv called "gramma" —as close as she managed to get to "grandmother" or "grandmom . ” Even now, a still groggy Liv was squealing with delight at seeing Cecily waving flags for her. She let go of my hand and ran over to her, throwing herself into my aunt's waiting arms and giggling as she was welcomed with hugs and kisses. Freya was more cautious. The last time my aunt had been in Copenhagen, Freya was just a few days old. She'd only seen pictures of her. "Don't worry," I told my more reserved daughter as we pushed our luggage trolley over to where my aunt was waiting. "This is your gramma, and she loves you so very much."
With Liv now in her arms and commandeering the flags, my aunt gave me a fierce hug and then she patted Freya's cheeks and said, "You are a little doll, aren't you? Looking exactly like your mother when she was a tiny one!" Freya seemed to accept this. She reached out for Cecily, wanting now to be held by someone besides me.
"Thank you for letting us come at such short notice." We were walking now towards the exit for short-term parking. "I really appreciate this, Cecily."
My aunt shushed me and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Nonsense, my dear. You needed me, and I am here for you. Now let's get these two cuties to the car. You must be exhausted after that flight."
I was. I could only imagine how I looked. I was certain I had bags under my eyes, Freya's drool stains on the shoulder of my shirt. Long flights always made me crave a shower. Breathing in all that recycled air, being too close to so many other people for such a long period of time... That's all I wanted...to take a shower, to wash away everything awful and to feel whole again.
"Does Mads know you're here?"
"Not yet, no."
"I want you to call him once we get the little ones settled and tell him where you are." We were outside now. The oppressive heat and humidity slapped me in the face and made me gasp.
"Slowly, sweetie..." My aunt made me stop. "Just breathe in and
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