fake. I keep expecting to see Lily, only of course she’s not there, and half the time I want to explode – I want to shout that I’m a twin, that I’m
only half a person. No one there knows about Lily – they think I’m just me.’
‘You are “just you”,’ said Ted tentatively.
‘I know! It’s just that all my life I’ve been one half of a pair – Lily’s twin – and now suddenly, at this new school, I’m not. That’s why I feel
like a fake, like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.’
It was so hard to explain, especially to someone who isn’t a twin. Of course, you know that you’re your own person. It’s just that somehow you’re more than that.
You’re an individual but you’re also a pair. Suddenly being just an individual is scary. Lily defines me in some way. It’s not that I’m sorry I’ve gone to the new
school where nobody knows about her. It’s just that it’s going to take a bit of getting used to.
‘Why haven’t you told any of your new friends about her?’
I thought about Effy and how she never stops talking long enough for me to tell her anything, and how she’s permanently cheerful no matter what life throws at her.
‘Because it would change how they see me. I need to be
me
. I guess I’ll get better at it.’
On the bus home I struggled to stay awake. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and go to sleep but I was scared I’d miss my stop. I nearly fell asleep in maths today because I had another
nightmare last night. What I needed was a good night’s sleep. I wondered if I’d ever have one again. I seriously considered nicking some of Mum’s pills; I doubt she’d
notice. The trouble is I’ve seen how groggy she is in the mornings and if they made me like that then there’s not much point.
The bus stopped at the lights right next to a bookshop. They had a whole window display of Mum’s ‘Twins’ books with the dolls and everything. A couple of years ago Mum’s
twin stories were made into a television series. Lily was mad because she wanted us to play the twins but the twins in Mum’s stories are boys.
I think she did that so Lily and I wouldn’t think she was writing about us. Thank God she did. I’d hate people to think that.
The books are for younger children and the TV series was a great hit. In the end they did it in cartoon form and they brought out a couple of dolls to go with it. We used to have some but I
think Archie took them with him when he left.
Mum bought the basement off Jeanie and David with the money. I’m really glad she did because I’d feel uncomfortable living there now if it still belonged to David; like we’d
outstayed our welcome or something, now everyone else has gone and with the Americans coming.
When I got home Mum wanted to know all about the new school. I told her it was the best. She wanted to know if I’d made any new friends, so I told her about Effy because I didn’t
want to worry her. And besides, Effy seemed to have decided I was her new Best Friend. She gets off the bus a stop after me. She lives behind the park which isn’t far away because it’s
not a very big park, more like a garden really.
Lily wasn’t around so I wandered upstairs after tea to see Jeanie and David. They’re going next week and I wanted to make the most of being able to go up while I still can.
It’s just as well they’ve made all the changes up there, because they wouldn’t have been able to house swap with the Americans if it was still falling apart and full of random
people.
Jeanie and David wanted to know about the new school as well. They said it sounded good and they’d be back in time for my GCSEs so I wasn’t to worry.
Jeanie said she was trying to get a room ready for the American couple’s son but she wasn’t sure what he’d want and perhaps I could help her. I didn’t have a clue and I
told her so. What did I know about boys?
David said, ‘I know you’re upset with us for going away,
only half a person. No one there knows about Lily – they think I’m just me.’
‘You are “just you”,’ said Ted tentatively.
‘I know! It’s just that all my life I’ve been one half of a pair – Lily’s twin – and now suddenly, at this new school, I’m not. That’s why I feel
like a fake, like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.’
It was so hard to explain, especially to someone who isn’t a twin. Of course, you know that you’re your own person. It’s just that somehow you’re more than that.
You’re an individual but you’re also a pair. Suddenly being just an individual is scary. Lily defines me in some way. It’s not that I’m sorry I’ve gone to the new
school where nobody knows about her. It’s just that it’s going to take a bit of getting used to.
‘Why haven’t you told any of your new friends about her?’
I thought about Effy and how she never stops talking long enough for me to tell her anything, and how she’s permanently cheerful no matter what life throws at her.
‘Because it would change how they see me. I need to be
me
. I guess I’ll get better at it.’
On the bus home I struggled to stay awake. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and go to sleep but I was scared I’d miss my stop. I nearly fell asleep in maths today because I had another
nightmare last night. What I needed was a good night’s sleep. I wondered if I’d ever have one again. I seriously considered nicking some of Mum’s pills; I doubt she’d
notice. The trouble is I’ve seen how groggy she is in the mornings and if they made me like that then there’s not much point.
The bus stopped at the lights right next to a bookshop. They had a whole window display of Mum’s ‘Twins’ books with the dolls and everything. A couple of years ago Mum’s
twin stories were made into a television series. Lily was mad because she wanted us to play the twins but the twins in Mum’s stories are boys.
I think she did that so Lily and I wouldn’t think she was writing about us. Thank God she did. I’d hate people to think that.
The books are for younger children and the TV series was a great hit. In the end they did it in cartoon form and they brought out a couple of dolls to go with it. We used to have some but I
think Archie took them with him when he left.
Mum bought the basement off Jeanie and David with the money. I’m really glad she did because I’d feel uncomfortable living there now if it still belonged to David; like we’d
outstayed our welcome or something, now everyone else has gone and with the Americans coming.
When I got home Mum wanted to know all about the new school. I told her it was the best. She wanted to know if I’d made any new friends, so I told her about Effy because I didn’t
want to worry her. And besides, Effy seemed to have decided I was her new Best Friend. She gets off the bus a stop after me. She lives behind the park which isn’t far away because it’s
not a very big park, more like a garden really.
Lily wasn’t around so I wandered upstairs after tea to see Jeanie and David. They’re going next week and I wanted to make the most of being able to go up while I still can.
It’s just as well they’ve made all the changes up there, because they wouldn’t have been able to house swap with the Americans if it was still falling apart and full of random
people.
Jeanie and David wanted to know about the new school as well. They said it sounded good and they’d be back in time for my GCSEs so I wasn’t to worry.
Jeanie said she was trying to get a room ready for the American couple’s son but she wasn’t sure what he’d want and perhaps I could help her. I didn’t have a clue and I
told her so. What did I know about boys?
David said, ‘I know you’re upset with us for going away,
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