deyo!
âWell, letâs go!â
When I peered out the window, I saw Mr. Tanaka walking back toward his cart and Mrs. Fidget wiping her hands all over her kimono.
After a moment, my sister said, âChiyo-chan!â
I buried my face in my hands; and honestly I would have plunged in anguish through the floor of the train if I could have. Because the way my sister said my name, she hardly needed to say anything more.
âDo you know where weâre going?â she said to me.
I think all she wanted was a yes or no answer. Probably it didnât matter to her what our destination wasâso long as someone knew what was happening. But, of course, I didnât. I asked the narrow man, Mr. Bekku, but he paid me no attention. He was still staring at Satsu as if he had never seen anything like her before. Finally he squeezed his face into a look of disgust and said:
âFish! What a stench, the both of you!â
He took a comb from his drawstring bag and began tearing it through her hair. Iâm certain he must have hurt her, but I could see that watching the countryside pass by outside the window hurt her even more. In a moment Satsuâs lips turned down like a babyâs, and she began to cry. Even if sheâd hit me and yelled at me, I wouldnât have ached as much as I did watching her whole face tremble. Everything was my fault. An old peasant woman with her teeth bared like a dogâs came over with a carrot for Satsu, and after giving it to her asked where she was going.
âKyoto,â Mr. Bekku answered.
I felt so sick with worry at hearing this, I couldnât bring myself to look Satsu in the eye any longer. Even the town of Senzuru seemed a remote, faraway place. As for Kyoto, it sounded as foreign to me as Hong Kong, or even New York, which Iâd once heard Dr. Miura talk about. For all I knew, they ground up children in Kyoto and fed them to dogs.
We were on that train for many hours, without food to eat. The sight of Mr. Bekku taking a wrapped-up lotus leaf from his bag, and unwrapping it to reveal a rice ball sprinkled with sesame seeds, certainly got my attention. But when he took it in his bony fingers and pressed it into his mean little mouth without so much as looking at me, I felt as if I couldnât take another moment of torment. We got off the train at last in a large town, which I took to be Kyoto; but after a time another train pulled into the station, and we boarded it. This one did take us to Kyoto. It was much more crowded than the first train had been, so that we had to stand. By the time we arrived, as evening was approaching, I felt as sore as a rock must feel when the waterfall has pounded on it all day long.
I could see little of the city as we neared Kyoto Station. But then to my astonishment, I caught a glimpse of rooftops reaching as far as the base of hills in the distance. I could never have imagined a city so huge. Even to this day, the sight of streets and buildings from a train often makes me remember the terrible emptiness and fear I felt on that curious day when I first left my home.
Back then, around 1930, a fair number of rickshaws still operated in Kyoto. In fact, so many were lined up before the station that I imagined no one went anywhere in this big city unless it was in a rickshawâwhich couldnât have been further from the truth. Perhaps fifteen or twenty of them sat pitched forward onto their poles, with their drivers squatting nearby, smoking or eating; some of the drivers even lay curled up asleep right there in the filth of the street.
Mr. Bekku led us by our elbows again, as if we were a couple of buckets he was bringing back from the well. He probably thought Iâd have run away if heâd let go of me a moment; but I wouldnât have. Wherever he was taking us, I preferred it to being cast out alone into that great expanse of streets and buildings, as foreign to me as the bottom of the sea.
We climbed into
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