called Alice.
Alice the camel had five humps .
‘I would’ve given anything at your age to go to camp, so enjoy it. For me, for that girl who never had the chance. Now get in there.’
Alice the camel had four humps .
‘Okay,’ I agreed, exhaling and sitting down on a log beside Ernesto and Corina. Corina looked bored, and Nesto’s face was covered in marshmallow and chocolate.
Alice the camel had three humps .
‘What’s with the escort?’ asked Corina.
‘Thought you were going to bed?’ I said.
‘Thought I’d try to control the hunger,’ she said, ‘instead of hiding from it. Speaking of hiding?’
‘I got a little lost,’ I said, not fully fessing up to my secret snooping.
Alice the camel had two humps .
‘Hey, Corina,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry about following you like that. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.’
Alice the camel had one hump .
‘It’s cool,’ she said. ‘I’m glad you’re back. I was starting to get a little, well, worried.’
‘Worried? You?’ I teased.
‘I know. That’s your department.’
‘Well, I think you were right. I should just give the worrying a break, at least for these two weeks.’
Alice the camel had no humps .
‘Cos Alice was a horse!’ Ernesto shouted. I looked at him, filthy face, clapping madly, and decided to let go and have some fun.
What was the worst that could happen?
* It’s just an expression. I didn’t actually tap dance. First, I wasn’t wearing the right shoes, and second, the gravel ground would have torn the metal taps to shreds.
12
In Which I Am Awoken by a Moose (Story)
I was settled in for a summer slumber, dreaming of a washing machine big enough to wash all the newly donated clothes I’d found, when I felt a cool breeze blow over me. At first I thought I was in the spin cycle, but it was just my tentmate waking me up.
‘Adam, are you awake?’ Nesto said, climbing back into the tent.
‘I am now,’ I said. ‘Where were you?’
‘It’s a long story,’ Nesto said.
I closed my eyes again, hoping to will myself back to sleep. I really wanted to fill the tray with gallons of detergent.
‘But we’ve got time,’ he added.
As Nesto crawled back into his sleeping bag, he told me about his night-time adventure.
‘I really needed to pee, and I saw that your water bottle was empty. I thought about just bottling it in here and saving myself the trip—’
‘Whoa, Nesto.’ I stopped him, looking at my mostly empty water bottle beside me. ‘How much time did you spend thinking that?’
‘Don’t worry, not too long. And a good thing too, because … I’m in love.’
‘What are you talking about?’ I asked.
‘Okay,’ he said, ‘so I thought that peeing in your bottle would kind of upset you—’
‘You think?’
‘That’s why I crept out as quietly as I could. But instead of going to the outhouses—’
‘Yeah, I’ve been avoiding those,’ I confessed.
‘You’re gonna burst sooner or later,’ Nesto said.
I knew he was right – I couldn’t avoid nature calling, even up here in the middle of nature.
‘So I marked my territory along the fence line and feeling free, changed into chupa mode. I ran around on all fours feeling … well, like me. And that’s when I heard it. It was like a low, loud bullhorn sound. It came from the trees beyond the fence, and I howled back.
‘Then it blew again. It made me think of music lessons at school, but you know, more melodic. It was definitely an animal. Except it wasn’t. Through the trees walked a … girl . A really, really pretty, like magazine cover or Disney Channel, girl.
‘I’d totally forgotten I was still in chupa mode and she came up to the fence and waved. Then she let out that sound again, like she had a trombone stuck in her throat.’
I’d worried that I’d nodded off and was actually dreaming. ‘Wait a sec, Nest. Did you say you met a girl tonight?’
‘Crazy, I know!’ he said. ‘But it gets crazier. She’s
Alice the camel had five humps .
‘I would’ve given anything at your age to go to camp, so enjoy it. For me, for that girl who never had the chance. Now get in there.’
Alice the camel had four humps .
‘Okay,’ I agreed, exhaling and sitting down on a log beside Ernesto and Corina. Corina looked bored, and Nesto’s face was covered in marshmallow and chocolate.
Alice the camel had three humps .
‘What’s with the escort?’ asked Corina.
‘Thought you were going to bed?’ I said.
‘Thought I’d try to control the hunger,’ she said, ‘instead of hiding from it. Speaking of hiding?’
‘I got a little lost,’ I said, not fully fessing up to my secret snooping.
Alice the camel had two humps .
‘Hey, Corina,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry about following you like that. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.’
Alice the camel had one hump .
‘It’s cool,’ she said. ‘I’m glad you’re back. I was starting to get a little, well, worried.’
‘Worried? You?’ I teased.
‘I know. That’s your department.’
‘Well, I think you were right. I should just give the worrying a break, at least for these two weeks.’
Alice the camel had no humps .
‘Cos Alice was a horse!’ Ernesto shouted. I looked at him, filthy face, clapping madly, and decided to let go and have some fun.
What was the worst that could happen?
* It’s just an expression. I didn’t actually tap dance. First, I wasn’t wearing the right shoes, and second, the gravel ground would have torn the metal taps to shreds.
12
In Which I Am Awoken by a Moose (Story)
I was settled in for a summer slumber, dreaming of a washing machine big enough to wash all the newly donated clothes I’d found, when I felt a cool breeze blow over me. At first I thought I was in the spin cycle, but it was just my tentmate waking me up.
‘Adam, are you awake?’ Nesto said, climbing back into the tent.
‘I am now,’ I said. ‘Where were you?’
‘It’s a long story,’ Nesto said.
I closed my eyes again, hoping to will myself back to sleep. I really wanted to fill the tray with gallons of detergent.
‘But we’ve got time,’ he added.
As Nesto crawled back into his sleeping bag, he told me about his night-time adventure.
‘I really needed to pee, and I saw that your water bottle was empty. I thought about just bottling it in here and saving myself the trip—’
‘Whoa, Nesto.’ I stopped him, looking at my mostly empty water bottle beside me. ‘How much time did you spend thinking that?’
‘Don’t worry, not too long. And a good thing too, because … I’m in love.’
‘What are you talking about?’ I asked.
‘Okay,’ he said, ‘so I thought that peeing in your bottle would kind of upset you—’
‘You think?’
‘That’s why I crept out as quietly as I could. But instead of going to the outhouses—’
‘Yeah, I’ve been avoiding those,’ I confessed.
‘You’re gonna burst sooner or later,’ Nesto said.
I knew he was right – I couldn’t avoid nature calling, even up here in the middle of nature.
‘So I marked my territory along the fence line and feeling free, changed into chupa mode. I ran around on all fours feeling … well, like me. And that’s when I heard it. It was like a low, loud bullhorn sound. It came from the trees beyond the fence, and I howled back.
‘Then it blew again. It made me think of music lessons at school, but you know, more melodic. It was definitely an animal. Except it wasn’t. Through the trees walked a … girl . A really, really pretty, like magazine cover or Disney Channel, girl.
‘I’d totally forgotten I was still in chupa mode and she came up to the fence and waved. Then she let out that sound again, like she had a trombone stuck in her throat.’
I’d worried that I’d nodded off and was actually dreaming. ‘Wait a sec, Nest. Did you say you met a girl tonight?’
‘Crazy, I know!’ he said. ‘But it gets crazier. She’s
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