Memorizing You by Dan Skinner

sunrise, leaning. Everythingy fes on the brick rail of the bridge. His profile was to me, a perfect silhouette. I could see a small crease pinch at the top of his nose, and he licked his lips like his mouth was dry.
    “No one knows this, and no one can,” his voice was barely above a whisper.
    The air between us felt tense. I couldn’t begin to understand what was going on. My initial thought was that he was going to tell me he had some terrible disease. Then others crammed in. VD. He’d committed a crime.
    “You seem like an honest guy. I can usually tell. And you seem like someone that can be trusted. I like to make friends with people I can trust.”
    His hand clenched. Then he wiped his palm on his shorts. He chewed a lip.
    “Thanks,” I said. “I think I am.”
    He turned to face me, eyes locking on mine. “You’re the first.”
    I was confused. “The first? First, what?”
    He took a deep breath. It returned outward like a sigh. A very heavy sigh. “The first person I’ve ever told that I’m gay.”
    A tear spilled down his cheek. It left a glimmering trail to his chin in the sunlight. His lips quivered.
    I stood in silence trying to absorb the confession. Thunderstruck. I knew I should be saying something, but I didn’t have a clue what. I could hear him breathing. He was frightened. It didn’t look right on a big guy like him.
    “How’s your side?” I finally asked.
    “Better,” he said in a low voice.
    “Feel like running again?”
    He looked at me. A timid laugh escaped. “You have absolutely no idea!”
    The run back was in silence and seemed to have taken twice as long. My mind went over and over what he told me. It was unexpected. He’d made himself vulnerable. I knew he’d done a courageous thing. He’d let me see a part of him that no one knew. No one. He felt he could trust me with something he could share with no one else. That, more than anything, seemed to be uniquely special to me. He made me feel special with it. No one had ever done that.
    We walked the last half block to his house. I could see he was very down. It changed the texture of his face. The hard lines of a jock seemed somehow blurred. There was no way to read what was going through his mind. But I could imagine.
    He walked up to his porch with his back to me and his head down. “Thanks for the run.”
    I saw him reach for the door. “Same time tomorrow?” I asked.
    When he turned, I saw the lights brighten in him again. The returning smile was luminous. The way his face should look. “Yeah. Sure. That would be great.”
    The jog back to my house seemed nonexistent. I didn’t see houses, cars, or scenery. I was lost in the pride of having made a friend who trusted me.
     

CHAPTER FIVE
    If I thought I had a plan, it was nothing in comparison to the one my parents had. After dinner, they were off to see a movie, leaving Rosemary and myself to study. Alone. Unsupervised. I didn’t know whether to laugh, be annoyed or dumbfounded. My parents were creating the scenario that most parents called “flirting with disaster”. arrangementdi. My mind
    When they walked out the door, my father even winked. If that didn’t prompt an internal cringe, nothing would. If I was feeling perturbed, Rosemary was bouncing like a cat in a bag.
    More makeup. More perfume. Short-shorts and another tight top with no bra. I’d seen horny boys with a wallet full of condoms with less of an agenda.
    I became aware that, even though this all started as a game of my own devise, I was beginning to feel uncomfortably trapped. If I sat down, she was next to me in a flash with her hand in mine, her head leaning against me. She rattled on about how next time we should have a “proper date”. Go to a roller rink, or a movie. She was bursting with plans that I subconsciously began to notice would put us in an arena where her friends would see us. That would confirm the nature of our companionship.
    We had turned on the television to watch