Midnight Movie: A Novel by Tobe Hooper Alan Goldsher Page A
Authors: Tobe Hooper Alan Goldsher
Ads: Link
didn’t get the appeal of being an impoverished artist. I’d have been happy getting an advertising degree, and moving to, say, Phoenix, and getting a gig at some boutique agency that offered health insurance and three weeks’ vacation.
Erick also told me a story about his whole band getting some bad shrooms at a show in Denton, then spending the whole ride back to Austin vomiting inside, and outside, and even on top of, their van. Gross, but funny. It was nice that he wasn’t trying to charm me into the sack. I mean, you don’t seduce a girl by telling her puke stories.
ERICK LAUGHLIN:
I was
totally
trying to charm her into the sack.
JANINE DALTREY:
Finally, about a half an hour after the movie started, I told him he should go in. He said only if I joined him. So in we went.
TOBE HOOPER:
Erick was wrong. It wasn’t a piece of shit. It was a big, heaping piece of shit under a big, heaping pile of vomit, under a big, heaping pile of diarrhea, under a big, heaping pile of horse guts, under a big, heaping pile of maggots. I almost hoped a critic from a major newspaper was there, just so I could see what the fuck he’d write. A. O. Scott would’ve had a field day with good ol’
Destiny Express
.
Gary was sitting off to the far side, so I made my way over to find out what he thought about the whole thing. Right as his character was eating the arm off our female lead, Helen Leary, I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Now that, Gary my man, is emoting.”
He punched me in the stomach and said, “Shut the fuck up, man. You say another fucking word, and I’ll fucking equalize you.”
I wanted to say
What the fuck, Gary
? but the punch knocked the wind out of me, and I couldn’t get out a single word. All I wanted to do was sit down, but there wasn’t a chair in the general vicinity, so I wobbled over to the bar, plopped onto a stool, and tried to catch my breath and figure out why Gary gut-shot me. I assumed he thought I was somebody else, and I’d startled him. But that was still weird, because the Gary Church I knew wasn’t a hitter.
The vibe in the Cove was weird, man. Just fucking weird.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
This movie is fucking awesome. I’m getting a print. You’re watching it. It’s a revelation.
SENT FROM MY VERIZON BLACKBERRY
twitter.com
ScaryBarry snorted 1 line off of the bar and im wrecked. teeth hurt. awesome flick.
March 31 11:31 PM via web
FarceCycle ©ScaryBarry Jealous. Call me tomorrow.
March 31 11:33 PM via web
EXCERPTED FROM THE PAPERS OF DR. AARON GILLESPIE,
RISK MANAGEMENT ANALYST FOR THE DEPARTMENT
OF HOMELAND SECURITY
March 31, 2009—I watched maybe two minutes of the movie and was appalled. It was a litany of violent acts under the guise of a zombie story. It had no redeeming qualities. I headed to the door but was tripped, possibly on purpose, by a slovenly young man. He put me in a headlock and said, “Aren’t you enjoying this?” He breathed his fetid breath into my face, and I felt a wave of nausea that almost doubled me over.
I said, “No, I am not enjoying this,” doing everything within my power not to vomit.
He said, “I think you are.” And then he tightened his hold on my neck. The next thing I remember, I was lying in my hotel bed with a plastic mask covering my face.
TOBE HOOPER:
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood in the back of a theater during a
Chainsaw
screening, listening to the screams of the audience … and nothing else makes me happier. Knowing that I’ve given a willing crowd some nightmares is a beautiful feeling, man, simply beautiful.
The screaming that started halfway through
Destiny Express
wasn’t as gratifying. Actually, it scared a little bit of the shit out of me.
This knockout girl next to me at the bar hopped off her stool, sat down on the floor—that disgusting Cove floor—and started pulling on her hair, like she was trying to yank it
Erick also told me a story about his whole band getting some bad shrooms at a show in Denton, then spending the whole ride back to Austin vomiting inside, and outside, and even on top of, their van. Gross, but funny. It was nice that he wasn’t trying to charm me into the sack. I mean, you don’t seduce a girl by telling her puke stories.
ERICK LAUGHLIN:
I was
totally
trying to charm her into the sack.
JANINE DALTREY:
Finally, about a half an hour after the movie started, I told him he should go in. He said only if I joined him. So in we went.
TOBE HOOPER:
Erick was wrong. It wasn’t a piece of shit. It was a big, heaping piece of shit under a big, heaping pile of vomit, under a big, heaping pile of diarrhea, under a big, heaping pile of horse guts, under a big, heaping pile of maggots. I almost hoped a critic from a major newspaper was there, just so I could see what the fuck he’d write. A. O. Scott would’ve had a field day with good ol’
Destiny Express
.
Gary was sitting off to the far side, so I made my way over to find out what he thought about the whole thing. Right as his character was eating the arm off our female lead, Helen Leary, I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Now that, Gary my man, is emoting.”
He punched me in the stomach and said, “Shut the fuck up, man. You say another fucking word, and I’ll fucking equalize you.”
I wanted to say
What the fuck, Gary
? but the punch knocked the wind out of me, and I couldn’t get out a single word. All I wanted to do was sit down, but there wasn’t a chair in the general vicinity, so I wobbled over to the bar, plopped onto a stool, and tried to catch my breath and figure out why Gary gut-shot me. I assumed he thought I was somebody else, and I’d startled him. But that was still weird, because the Gary Church I knew wasn’t a hitter.
The vibe in the Cove was weird, man. Just fucking weird.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
This movie is fucking awesome. I’m getting a print. You’re watching it. It’s a revelation.
SENT FROM MY VERIZON BLACKBERRY
twitter.com
ScaryBarry snorted 1 line off of the bar and im wrecked. teeth hurt. awesome flick.
March 31 11:31 PM via web
FarceCycle ©ScaryBarry Jealous. Call me tomorrow.
March 31 11:33 PM via web
EXCERPTED FROM THE PAPERS OF DR. AARON GILLESPIE,
RISK MANAGEMENT ANALYST FOR THE DEPARTMENT
OF HOMELAND SECURITY
March 31, 2009—I watched maybe two minutes of the movie and was appalled. It was a litany of violent acts under the guise of a zombie story. It had no redeeming qualities. I headed to the door but was tripped, possibly on purpose, by a slovenly young man. He put me in a headlock and said, “Aren’t you enjoying this?” He breathed his fetid breath into my face, and I felt a wave of nausea that almost doubled me over.
I said, “No, I am not enjoying this,” doing everything within my power not to vomit.
He said, “I think you are.” And then he tightened his hold on my neck. The next thing I remember, I was lying in my hotel bed with a plastic mask covering my face.
TOBE HOOPER:
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood in the back of a theater during a
Chainsaw
screening, listening to the screams of the audience … and nothing else makes me happier. Knowing that I’ve given a willing crowd some nightmares is a beautiful feeling, man, simply beautiful.
The screaming that started halfway through
Destiny Express
wasn’t as gratifying. Actually, it scared a little bit of the shit out of me.
This knockout girl next to me at the bar hopped off her stool, sat down on the floor—that disgusting Cove floor—and started pulling on her hair, like she was trying to yank it
Similar Books
