paper.
Matthew knew. Matthew had seen . Sick with mortification, Philip hardly knew where he walked until he found himself once more in the billiard room with Matthew.
Save for their changed dress, it might have been last night still. Philip certainly felt light-headed and nauseous enough to have been drinking. Although five minutes ago he should confidently have said Matthew was the last person he wished to face, somehow Philip couldn’t make his feet turn and carry him back out through the door.
Matthew looked up at Philip’s entry and greeted him with a sly smile, then carried on with his shot. It missed. Somehow it allayed Philip’s fears a little. Surely no one this bad at billiards could make any decent stab at blackmail, or even exposure?
Matthew pouted at the errant ball, straightened, and began to chalk his cue. “Care to join me?”
“I—ah, no. Thank you.” Still Philip could make no move to leave.
“Probably for the best.” Matthew smiled up at him from under lush, girlish lashes. “Lord knows, I’m very easily conquered.”
“P-perhaps….” Philip cleared his throat. “Perhaps you should study to be less so.” Well, that was his duty to Frederick done. But Lord, how to broach the subject that was weighing so heavily on his mind?
In the event, he didn’t have to.
“You know, cousin,” Matthew said with knowing emphasis, “your gamekeeper really ought to make sure his door is properly closed of an evening. Anyone might wander by and see him at his leisure.”
Philip’s feet betrayed him instantly, stopping dead as if they had, all at once, forgotten how to tread. “You… s—saw?”
“And heard. Really, cousin, I should never have thought it of you.”
Philip felt as though he were entirely hollow. One sharp blow, he thought, would collapse him utterly. “Have you s— spoken of this to anyone?”
“Lord, no!” Matthew looked horrified at the thought, giving Philip some small shred of comfort. “I despise hypocrisy, almost as much as I despise Frederick’s stolid, middle-class values. Speaking of which, I don’t suppose I might, in the circumstances—I’m sure you’ll agree we have something of a fellow feeling here—ask you to put in a good word for me with my tiresome brother? He’s been threatening to cut my allowance.”
Warm relief flooded through Philip, filling the void within him. If all he was to suffer for his appalling indiscretions was some gentle pressure to mend brotherly fences, he felt he’d had a truly miraculous escape. “Of course. I’d be glad to. Although….” He hesitated. “It really wouldn’t hurt to tone it down a little. Your, ah, flamboyant behavior. Frederick’s isn’t the only good opinion you need to worry about. Scandal can be a beastly business.”
Matthew tilted his head thoughtfully as he regarded Philip from beneath those too-long lashes of his. “You’ve managed all right. The only talk I’ve heard about you is that you’re not one for society. I don’t suppose you could give me a tip on how it’s done?”
“I doubt you’d much care to follow my example,” Philip said sadly.
“Well, you slipped up a little last night, it’s true, but then, how were you to know I’d followed you?” He pursed his lips; Philip imagined the intent was to look thoughtful, but Matthew in fact appeared merely petulant. “I suppose I should apologize for that,” he mused. “Not really cricket. But then again,” he said, brightening, “I’ve always loathed field sports.”
It was impossible not to feel a sort of helpless fondness for the boy. In a firmly avuncular way, of course, and tinged with more than a little exasperation. He seemed so very, very young, and lost in the way only young men can be lost. Young women, Philip reflected, seemed to manage the whole business of growing up with a vast deal more ease. “And therefore, since you ‘cannot prove a lover, to entertain these fair well-spoken days’, you are ‘determined to
Matthew knew. Matthew had seen . Sick with mortification, Philip hardly knew where he walked until he found himself once more in the billiard room with Matthew.
Save for their changed dress, it might have been last night still. Philip certainly felt light-headed and nauseous enough to have been drinking. Although five minutes ago he should confidently have said Matthew was the last person he wished to face, somehow Philip couldn’t make his feet turn and carry him back out through the door.
Matthew looked up at Philip’s entry and greeted him with a sly smile, then carried on with his shot. It missed. Somehow it allayed Philip’s fears a little. Surely no one this bad at billiards could make any decent stab at blackmail, or even exposure?
Matthew pouted at the errant ball, straightened, and began to chalk his cue. “Care to join me?”
“I—ah, no. Thank you.” Still Philip could make no move to leave.
“Probably for the best.” Matthew smiled up at him from under lush, girlish lashes. “Lord knows, I’m very easily conquered.”
“P-perhaps….” Philip cleared his throat. “Perhaps you should study to be less so.” Well, that was his duty to Frederick done. But Lord, how to broach the subject that was weighing so heavily on his mind?
In the event, he didn’t have to.
“You know, cousin,” Matthew said with knowing emphasis, “your gamekeeper really ought to make sure his door is properly closed of an evening. Anyone might wander by and see him at his leisure.”
Philip’s feet betrayed him instantly, stopping dead as if they had, all at once, forgotten how to tread. “You… s—saw?”
“And heard. Really, cousin, I should never have thought it of you.”
Philip felt as though he were entirely hollow. One sharp blow, he thought, would collapse him utterly. “Have you s— spoken of this to anyone?”
“Lord, no!” Matthew looked horrified at the thought, giving Philip some small shred of comfort. “I despise hypocrisy, almost as much as I despise Frederick’s stolid, middle-class values. Speaking of which, I don’t suppose I might, in the circumstances—I’m sure you’ll agree we have something of a fellow feeling here—ask you to put in a good word for me with my tiresome brother? He’s been threatening to cut my allowance.”
Warm relief flooded through Philip, filling the void within him. If all he was to suffer for his appalling indiscretions was some gentle pressure to mend brotherly fences, he felt he’d had a truly miraculous escape. “Of course. I’d be glad to. Although….” He hesitated. “It really wouldn’t hurt to tone it down a little. Your, ah, flamboyant behavior. Frederick’s isn’t the only good opinion you need to worry about. Scandal can be a beastly business.”
Matthew tilted his head thoughtfully as he regarded Philip from beneath those too-long lashes of his. “You’ve managed all right. The only talk I’ve heard about you is that you’re not one for society. I don’t suppose you could give me a tip on how it’s done?”
“I doubt you’d much care to follow my example,” Philip said sadly.
“Well, you slipped up a little last night, it’s true, but then, how were you to know I’d followed you?” He pursed his lips; Philip imagined the intent was to look thoughtful, but Matthew in fact appeared merely petulant. “I suppose I should apologize for that,” he mused. “Not really cricket. But then again,” he said, brightening, “I’ve always loathed field sports.”
It was impossible not to feel a sort of helpless fondness for the boy. In a firmly avuncular way, of course, and tinged with more than a little exasperation. He seemed so very, very young, and lost in the way only young men can be lost. Young women, Philip reflected, seemed to manage the whole business of growing up with a vast deal more ease. “And therefore, since you ‘cannot prove a lover, to entertain these fair well-spoken days’, you are ‘determined to
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