Mine To Lose by Cate Lockhart Page A

imagine how Carol had felt making her way to the church, fully knowing what her intentions were. What had finally pushed her over the edge tonight? I wondered.
    Not quite there yet, I listened to Jordan direct me to the right street where Carol was apparently standing high on the ledge of a church tower, ready to jump, if she had not done so already. His commands were like white noise in the background of my racing mind and my palpitating heartbeat. I followed his directions, but it was as if I was on auto-pilot with my driving skills to allow my emotions and brain to formulate the words I needed to say to talk Carol around.
    ‘Katie,’ Jordan urged, his voice loud enough to jerk me from my thoughts. ‘Turn right here!’ He pointed to the sign on the corner, and I turned the wheel, feeling more and more numb as the flashing emergency lights came into view. My mind played a juvenile game with me as we approached, seeing the red and blue lights through the gathering raindrops as ‘ Carol jumped’ and after the windshield wipers cleared the colours, it was ‘ Carol lives’ lights. In my mind, whatever state the colours were in when I stopped the car would be the outcome of the incident.
    ‘Stop here,’ Jordan spoke again. A police officer appeared by my window suddenly, and I rolled it down to speak to him.
    ‘I’m sorry, but you can’t pass here. You have to take the ...’
    ‘I’m Katie Winston, the person Mrs Wicker had asked for!’ I spoke quickly to save time. ‘Is she still up there?’
    He jumped to attention and pointed to a space where I could park. ‘Yes! She’s still up there. Park up, and I’ll show you the way.’
    I parked the car in the shadows of the brushes in front of the ancient church and hopped out without looking for the outcome on the windscreen after all. Relieved that I didn’t see it, I knew I could not be influenced by my own superstition. A priest was amongst the group of emergency crew and police officers.
    ‘Katie!’ Martin called out from the bottom of the bell tower, where he was accompanied by another man. ‘Over here.’
    I rushed over to Martin and looked heavenward into the darkness as I did so. ‘I don’t see her,’ I told him.
    ‘You won’t,’ Martin replied. ‘She’s in an enclosed roof.’
    ‘How do I get up there?’ I asked. The police officer who had escorted me onto the grounds spoke before Martin could explain.
    ‘I’ll take you up, but I’ll stay out of sight. Now listen carefully. When you get up there, stay by the entrance to the stairs. Under no circumstances try to get any closer to her. I’m going to be on standby,’ he explained.
    His words barely registered with me as I took off to the entrance. I ran up the spiral stone staircase, taking two steps at a time until I reached the ringing room. From there, I climbed up a perpendicular ladder . I won’t lie and say it wasn’t a frightening ordeal the higher I climbed. It was. But the thought of Carol being all alone compelled me to cast my fear away for the better good. The officer stopped a few steps below me as I neared the top and handed me a torch from the inside of his jacket.
    ‘Remember what I said. Don’t go anywhere near her.’
    I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage as the angry wind assaulted the corners of the tower. I pulled myself into the circular opening, which was surrounded by nothing but a four-foot brick wall and a pitched roof. The frigid blast ripped my breath right out of me, and I gasped for a few seconds to regain my breathing. A long piece of rope dangled from the ceiling where a bell must have once hung.
    As my eyes became accustomed to the darkness, I could see Carol’s silhouette, standing near the edge of the wall barely twenty yards away, her hair standing wildly on end as if her head was filled with static electricity. She must have sensed me there because she turned around immediately. I flashed the torchlight on her, and my heart stopped when I