just a late night call to talk about something mundane. This was deadly serious. A matter of life and death.
Martin continued, ‘Can you meet me there, like yesterday? She’s refusing to speak to anyone but you.’
‘St Catherine’s Church?’ I asked for confirmation, fumbling crazily to put on the lamp. I vaguely remembered attending a wedding there a few years back. ‘The one on Thorne Rd in Bracknell ?
Jordan was already out of the bed by the time I ended the call with Martin.
‘Want me to come with you?’ he asked sincerely.
‘If you want,’ I said as I flew out of bed and ran to the bathroom. My bladder was at bursting point, causing me to bend over in pain as I sat on the toilet seat. The need to keep weeing had been happening on a regular basis lately. I kept meaning to make a doctor’s appointment but something always came up. No matter what, I was going to call the Doctor’s surgery in the morning. I couldn’t carry on like this. I returned to the bedroom and began to dress.
‘This is why I’m so glad we don’t have any children,’ Jordan said, pulling on his jeans and boots in haste. ‘That woman could’ve been our daughter in years to come.’
‘Or our daughter could be the one to save someone like Carol,’ I said.
‘Knowing our luck, it would be the first scenario. But thankfully it’s something we’ll never have to worry about,’ he replied as he slid his arms into his jacket.
I went for the car keys, and he kissed me on the temple before we rushed out to the car in the freezing wet cold.
‘My mind’s in such a state, I can’t remember the quickest way to get to Bracknell,’ I said nervously as we got onto the A34 and drove south.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll direct you using my iPhone. Just keep going until we get to the M4 ,’ Jordan assured me, tapping the address into his phone.
I could not have asked for a better partner, especially at that moment of panic and worry. I needed Jordan just the way he was at that moment; crisp, clear, informed and supportive. The poor man had no idea what kind of tension he was in for. With attempted suicide cases it rarely ended quickly, and I knew we were going to labour under the taxing emotional doldrums of unbridled distress.
We drove in silence with only the whistle of the gust in our ears and the occasional pair of white orbs approaching from the opposite side flashing by us to dump us in the lonely darkness of the winding road again.
‘I’ve never seen you in action before,’ Jordan said suddenly.
I thought it a poor choice of words, considering the circumstances, but remained silent. ‘I don’t mean that with the insensitivity it carries,’ he recovered quickly. ‘I just mean that ... I have never seen you in this capacity – as saviour and angel to those in turmoil. I just know you as a wife and lover, friend, partner.’
‘Why are you saying these things, now?’ I asked inadvertently.
‘What did I say wrong?’ he asked gently.
I sighed. I really had no answer for him. ‘I don’t know,’ I whispered. To be honest, he hadn’t said anything wrong. It was just that what he said sounded so conclusive – as if he was reviewing our life together and what I was to him, fitting my functions into boxes. When I should have encompassed his entire world, being his everything, he chose to name my roles as if there was space for another to fill in the gaps.
Perhaps I was over-analysing his meaning because I was preparing for the heavy emotional burden that was about to bear down on me with Carol.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. I placed my hand on his thigh and caressed him lightly in reassurance.
‘Do you know her well?’ he asked.
‘Unfortunately, we see way too much of her, yes,’ I answered, concentrating on the flashing strips on the road ahead, hoping that I could change Carol’s mind tonight. I had a feeling that this was going to be my last chance.
Chapter 9
When we arrived in the quiet village, I tried to
Martin continued, ‘Can you meet me there, like yesterday? She’s refusing to speak to anyone but you.’
‘St Catherine’s Church?’ I asked for confirmation, fumbling crazily to put on the lamp. I vaguely remembered attending a wedding there a few years back. ‘The one on Thorne Rd in Bracknell ?
Jordan was already out of the bed by the time I ended the call with Martin.
‘Want me to come with you?’ he asked sincerely.
‘If you want,’ I said as I flew out of bed and ran to the bathroom. My bladder was at bursting point, causing me to bend over in pain as I sat on the toilet seat. The need to keep weeing had been happening on a regular basis lately. I kept meaning to make a doctor’s appointment but something always came up. No matter what, I was going to call the Doctor’s surgery in the morning. I couldn’t carry on like this. I returned to the bedroom and began to dress.
‘This is why I’m so glad we don’t have any children,’ Jordan said, pulling on his jeans and boots in haste. ‘That woman could’ve been our daughter in years to come.’
‘Or our daughter could be the one to save someone like Carol,’ I said.
‘Knowing our luck, it would be the first scenario. But thankfully it’s something we’ll never have to worry about,’ he replied as he slid his arms into his jacket.
I went for the car keys, and he kissed me on the temple before we rushed out to the car in the freezing wet cold.
‘My mind’s in such a state, I can’t remember the quickest way to get to Bracknell,’ I said nervously as we got onto the A34 and drove south.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll direct you using my iPhone. Just keep going until we get to the M4 ,’ Jordan assured me, tapping the address into his phone.
I could not have asked for a better partner, especially at that moment of panic and worry. I needed Jordan just the way he was at that moment; crisp, clear, informed and supportive. The poor man had no idea what kind of tension he was in for. With attempted suicide cases it rarely ended quickly, and I knew we were going to labour under the taxing emotional doldrums of unbridled distress.
We drove in silence with only the whistle of the gust in our ears and the occasional pair of white orbs approaching from the opposite side flashing by us to dump us in the lonely darkness of the winding road again.
‘I’ve never seen you in action before,’ Jordan said suddenly.
I thought it a poor choice of words, considering the circumstances, but remained silent. ‘I don’t mean that with the insensitivity it carries,’ he recovered quickly. ‘I just mean that ... I have never seen you in this capacity – as saviour and angel to those in turmoil. I just know you as a wife and lover, friend, partner.’
‘Why are you saying these things, now?’ I asked inadvertently.
‘What did I say wrong?’ he asked gently.
I sighed. I really had no answer for him. ‘I don’t know,’ I whispered. To be honest, he hadn’t said anything wrong. It was just that what he said sounded so conclusive – as if he was reviewing our life together and what I was to him, fitting my functions into boxes. When I should have encompassed his entire world, being his everything, he chose to name my roles as if there was space for another to fill in the gaps.
Perhaps I was over-analysing his meaning because I was preparing for the heavy emotional burden that was about to bear down on me with Carol.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. I placed my hand on his thigh and caressed him lightly in reassurance.
‘Do you know her well?’ he asked.
‘Unfortunately, we see way too much of her, yes,’ I answered, concentrating on the flashing strips on the road ahead, hoping that I could change Carol’s mind tonight. I had a feeling that this was going to be my last chance.
Chapter 9
When we arrived in the quiet village, I tried to
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