but I can’t stop wondering who she is trying to set him up with this time. I felt like bum rushing it…hey, that wasn’t a bad idea. I called up Tony on his cell while he was with his parents.
“Hello, Nikki? Everything okay?” His voice was anxious with concern.
“Yeah T-baby. Y’all eating yet?”
“No. Why?”
“T, I thought maybe your mom would get me better if she actually met me.”
“Maybe--Nikki…I do want you to meet my folks, but this is not the right time.”
“Humph.” I said disappointed.
“Baby, I’ll come over after dinner. Okay?”
“Okay.” I hung up stinging. T had never told me no before. It definitely smarted. Why play games? I mean, after all, I’m his woman. It felt to me like times when things would be going well in a relationship and then you met the friends or family and things got cold. Maybe they had said I was too fat, or too ghetto, I don’t know. But friends and family went a long way to influencing a relationship.
I made myself a drink. I couldn’t shake a creeping sadness.
TONY
Mom looked at me sideways. She had heard my one-sided conversation with Nikki. Broken English or not she knew what was going down. They were two powerful women. Nikki knew about mom, now mom was suspecting about Nikki.
When I got to Nikki’s place she was already in bed. An empty wine glass sat on her otherwise neat side table. I leaned over and kissed her.
“Hi baby. You’re in bed early.” She looked at me.
“How was dinner?”
“Good. I’m sorry about not inviting you. It’s just that-”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll meet them when I meet them.”
She turned back around and snuggled into her pillow. I sat on the bed and put my hand on her back.
“Nothing would make me happier than for you to meet my folks Nikki. But I know my mother. All she wants is for me to settle down with a nice Asian girl. It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s just that tradition is all she knows.”
Nikki didn’t move. With a sigh I stood up. “I’m a pretty big disappointment to my Mom. I’m not the son that followed the old ways. I don’t talk like her or appreciate the same things she does. I’m haku-jin. A westerner.”
“Didn’t they come to America for a better life?” She asked without turning around.
“Yes.” She rolled over and looked at me with sad eyes.
“Then they succeeded. Because you are living The American Dream. If they wanted you to be like them then maybe they should have stayed in Japan and raised you in a Japanese culture instead of raising you in an American one and expecting you to emulate a culture you weren’t even in.”
I couldn’t speak. It was so true…and so false. I had a lot of Japanese influences. We were involved in a lot of cultural activities and were part of a large Asian community from church to clubs. I knew a lot of beautiful Asian girls and have met Asian boys to befriend.
But it was me that rejected it. I engulfed the hip-hop world and that wouldn’t allow me to be untrue to what was in my heart. So honestly, it’s not just my Mom that guilts me. I have enough guilt of my own for rejecting my race.
I fidgeted and Nikki finally lay back on her pillow. “I guess…I’ll go home.” I kissed her cheek and she didn’t move. “See you at work.” I went home and slept alone in my bed for the first time in weeks.
NIKKI
I’ve allowed myself to get too close to Tony too fast. Not knowing how this is going to end up, I’ve decided to move back a bit. It hurts to even
think about it, but I’ve been devastated by a relationship before and it wasn’t nearly as deep and meaningful as this one. I missed him so much after he left my apartment, that I barely slept a wink. The next day at work Tony was in conference for most of the day.
I had lunch with some of my co-workers, my thoughts on him completely.
“Nikki? Earth to Nikki?” Lisa
“Hello, Nikki? Everything okay?” His voice was anxious with concern.
“Yeah T-baby. Y’all eating yet?”
“No. Why?”
“T, I thought maybe your mom would get me better if she actually met me.”
“Maybe--Nikki…I do want you to meet my folks, but this is not the right time.”
“Humph.” I said disappointed.
“Baby, I’ll come over after dinner. Okay?”
“Okay.” I hung up stinging. T had never told me no before. It definitely smarted. Why play games? I mean, after all, I’m his woman. It felt to me like times when things would be going well in a relationship and then you met the friends or family and things got cold. Maybe they had said I was too fat, or too ghetto, I don’t know. But friends and family went a long way to influencing a relationship.
I made myself a drink. I couldn’t shake a creeping sadness.
TONY
Mom looked at me sideways. She had heard my one-sided conversation with Nikki. Broken English or not she knew what was going down. They were two powerful women. Nikki knew about mom, now mom was suspecting about Nikki.
When I got to Nikki’s place she was already in bed. An empty wine glass sat on her otherwise neat side table. I leaned over and kissed her.
“Hi baby. You’re in bed early.” She looked at me.
“How was dinner?”
“Good. I’m sorry about not inviting you. It’s just that-”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll meet them when I meet them.”
She turned back around and snuggled into her pillow. I sat on the bed and put my hand on her back.
“Nothing would make me happier than for you to meet my folks Nikki. But I know my mother. All she wants is for me to settle down with a nice Asian girl. It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s just that tradition is all she knows.”
Nikki didn’t move. With a sigh I stood up. “I’m a pretty big disappointment to my Mom. I’m not the son that followed the old ways. I don’t talk like her or appreciate the same things she does. I’m haku-jin. A westerner.”
“Didn’t they come to America for a better life?” She asked without turning around.
“Yes.” She rolled over and looked at me with sad eyes.
“Then they succeeded. Because you are living The American Dream. If they wanted you to be like them then maybe they should have stayed in Japan and raised you in a Japanese culture instead of raising you in an American one and expecting you to emulate a culture you weren’t even in.”
I couldn’t speak. It was so true…and so false. I had a lot of Japanese influences. We were involved in a lot of cultural activities and were part of a large Asian community from church to clubs. I knew a lot of beautiful Asian girls and have met Asian boys to befriend.
But it was me that rejected it. I engulfed the hip-hop world and that wouldn’t allow me to be untrue to what was in my heart. So honestly, it’s not just my Mom that guilts me. I have enough guilt of my own for rejecting my race.
I fidgeted and Nikki finally lay back on her pillow. “I guess…I’ll go home.” I kissed her cheek and she didn’t move. “See you at work.” I went home and slept alone in my bed for the first time in weeks.
NIKKI
I’ve allowed myself to get too close to Tony too fast. Not knowing how this is going to end up, I’ve decided to move back a bit. It hurts to even
think about it, but I’ve been devastated by a relationship before and it wasn’t nearly as deep and meaningful as this one. I missed him so much after he left my apartment, that I barely slept a wink. The next day at work Tony was in conference for most of the day.
I had lunch with some of my co-workers, my thoughts on him completely.
“Nikki? Earth to Nikki?” Lisa
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