this before. And you can’t exactly go to your next-door neighbors for advice.
Dan: Yeah, “When you had your quintuplets, what’d you do?”
Pam: And even people with twins—it’s a totally different thing. But we agreed that we were a good team, and we have a strong, solid relationship. Having a baby puts a strain on a relationship, and having multiple babies puts more of a strain on a relationship. We knew ours was strong and together we could do it.
We went to see Bubbe and Pop-Pop, my mom and dad. We were just coming from the doctor’s office. I mean, I was terrified; I was in tears.They tried to soothe us, but they were upset and worried like we were. And then we went to see Grandma and Pop-Pop, Dad’s mom and dad, whose reaction was, “Oh, wow! One baby is a joy—so this is five times the joy!”
So we went back to Dr. Grodin, and I think he saw that we were leaning toward continuing the pregnancy. He said if anybody could do it, I could: I had everything going for me that could be going for me.We learned much later on that the other doctors in his practice pulled him aside and told him he was out of his mind—that he should have just told us right off the bat that we should have aborted the whole pregnancy—
Dan: Because they knew this is a high, high, high, high risk. At that time, I think there were eight recorded sets of quintuplets ever that survived.
Pam: We didn’t come home all at once with five babies. After you were born we’d been told by the hospital that we’d have a staggered homecoming because you were different weights and had different health issues that needed to be overcome before you would be able to go home from the hospital. As it turned out, we got two babies home on July 28 and two more babies on July 29. Then Elliot stayed an additional five weeks.
Dan: When everybody was home and nobody was sleeping through the night yet, two of you guys were on one feeding schedule, and two others were on another feeding schedule—because we got two one day, two the next day. And then Elliot, five weeks later, he was on the third feeding schedule. If you do the math, we were feeding babies twenty-one out of twenty-four hours a day. And we didn’t want to bottle-prop because we thought it was very important to hold each and every one of you, each time you were being fed. That meant we never, ever slept.
Pam: And then Dad stayed home from work for the first year.
Dan: Mom had been working at the Food and Drug Administration since she was seventeen years old, and she had a good career. She was making more money than I was, and we figured it made sense that I’d stay home. So that’s why Mom went back to work and I stayed home for the first year. But I had huge amounts of help because Bubbe had set up a volunteer group. Anyone who said they were willing to come by and feed, she’d schedule them: “You’ll be here Wednesdays at two o’clock to four o’clock and feed these babies.” She had it all scheduled.
Shira: So Mom, how was it when you first went back to work?
Pam: Well, on the one hand, I kind of felt like I was missing out.You always worry that you’re going to miss the firsts— but you know, if I didn’t see the first step that you took, I still saw the first step that I saw that you took, and that was just as special. On the other hand, I think I benefited from it. Because I honestly looked forward to coming home and being with you every day. It was really, honest-to-goodness quality time.
Dan: We wouldn’t answer the phones, we wouldn’t see people, we wouldn’t do anything . It was just you guys, Mom, and I.
Pam: I think I enjoyed it more because I had that break during the day where I was doing other things besides taking care of babies—because when we were with you it was intense . It was all babies: there was no time for anything else.
Dan: But you kids were so much fun.You were always, always laughing, always giggling, always something going on.
Pam :
Dan: Yeah, “When you had your quintuplets, what’d you do?”
Pam: And even people with twins—it’s a totally different thing. But we agreed that we were a good team, and we have a strong, solid relationship. Having a baby puts a strain on a relationship, and having multiple babies puts more of a strain on a relationship. We knew ours was strong and together we could do it.
We went to see Bubbe and Pop-Pop, my mom and dad. We were just coming from the doctor’s office. I mean, I was terrified; I was in tears.They tried to soothe us, but they were upset and worried like we were. And then we went to see Grandma and Pop-Pop, Dad’s mom and dad, whose reaction was, “Oh, wow! One baby is a joy—so this is five times the joy!”
So we went back to Dr. Grodin, and I think he saw that we were leaning toward continuing the pregnancy. He said if anybody could do it, I could: I had everything going for me that could be going for me.We learned much later on that the other doctors in his practice pulled him aside and told him he was out of his mind—that he should have just told us right off the bat that we should have aborted the whole pregnancy—
Dan: Because they knew this is a high, high, high, high risk. At that time, I think there were eight recorded sets of quintuplets ever that survived.
Pam: We didn’t come home all at once with five babies. After you were born we’d been told by the hospital that we’d have a staggered homecoming because you were different weights and had different health issues that needed to be overcome before you would be able to go home from the hospital. As it turned out, we got two babies home on July 28 and two more babies on July 29. Then Elliot stayed an additional five weeks.
Dan: When everybody was home and nobody was sleeping through the night yet, two of you guys were on one feeding schedule, and two others were on another feeding schedule—because we got two one day, two the next day. And then Elliot, five weeks later, he was on the third feeding schedule. If you do the math, we were feeding babies twenty-one out of twenty-four hours a day. And we didn’t want to bottle-prop because we thought it was very important to hold each and every one of you, each time you were being fed. That meant we never, ever slept.
Pam: And then Dad stayed home from work for the first year.
Dan: Mom had been working at the Food and Drug Administration since she was seventeen years old, and she had a good career. She was making more money than I was, and we figured it made sense that I’d stay home. So that’s why Mom went back to work and I stayed home for the first year. But I had huge amounts of help because Bubbe had set up a volunteer group. Anyone who said they were willing to come by and feed, she’d schedule them: “You’ll be here Wednesdays at two o’clock to four o’clock and feed these babies.” She had it all scheduled.
Shira: So Mom, how was it when you first went back to work?
Pam: Well, on the one hand, I kind of felt like I was missing out.You always worry that you’re going to miss the firsts— but you know, if I didn’t see the first step that you took, I still saw the first step that I saw that you took, and that was just as special. On the other hand, I think I benefited from it. Because I honestly looked forward to coming home and being with you every day. It was really, honest-to-goodness quality time.
Dan: We wouldn’t answer the phones, we wouldn’t see people, we wouldn’t do anything . It was just you guys, Mom, and I.
Pam: I think I enjoyed it more because I had that break during the day where I was doing other things besides taking care of babies—because when we were with you it was intense . It was all babies: there was no time for anything else.
Dan: But you kids were so much fun.You were always, always laughing, always giggling, always something going on.
Pam :
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