My Teacher Is an Alien by Bruce Coville Page B
Authors: Bruce Coville
Tags: Fiction, General, Humorous stories, Science-Fiction, Action & Adventure, Juvenile Fiction, Fantasy & Magic, Education, School & Education, Life on other planets, Schools, Extraterrestrial beings, Teachers, Professional Development, Substitute teachers
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paused. "Then there's me," he said. "I'm real bright. But I'm not motivated. And I'm not very social. You know how it goes: 'Peter is a good student, but he's not very well rounded.' I hear it every year. That leaves you, Susan. You get good grades. You get along with everyone. You're in all kinds of activities. Let's face it, you may not be the best in any one thing, but when you look at everything together, you make a pretty good pick for top of the class."
I stared at him in horror. "You're not kidding, are you?"
He shook his head.
Microsoft Corporation
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - What Can Duncan Dougal Do?
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had been worried that Broxholm might want me for one of his "average" slots. It never even crossed my mind that I could be considered the top student in the class.
"Peter, what am I going to do?" I wailed.
Peter shrugged his skinny shoulders. "Don't worry," he said. "I've got a plan."
I thought he meant the camera. He didn't, but I didn't know that then. The plan he actually meant was so weird I never would have thought of it.
I took a deep breath and tried to settle down. "I'm glad you mentioned that," I said, referring to the camera. "I think I've figured out the best time for me to get back into Broxholm's house."
"You mean us," said Peter.
I shook my head. "I mean me," I said. "I'm going
to do it tomorrow morning, during my music lesson time. That way Mr. Smith won't suspect anything when I leave the room. I figure if I use my bike, I can make it to his house and back before I'm really missed. I'll get in trouble later, but at least I'll have the proof we need."
"You're not going alone," said Peter.
"Yes, I am," I said. "If we both take off, it's going to look suspicious—especially considering the amount of time we've spent together lately. Maybe suspicious enough that Broxholm will pretend he's sick, just so he can check up on us. We don't want him walking in on us while we're taking the photos. I doubt we could manage to sneak out of his house without getting caught a second time—especially if he's actually looking for us."
"Then I should go instead," said Peter. "You might not have enough time. I'll just skip school altogether."
"Now, how can you do that?" I asked.
Peter sighed. "I keep trying to tell you, it doesn't make any difference what I do. As long as I don't get in trouble with the law, no one cares."
"Peter, that's not a very nice way to talk about your parents," I said.
"I don't have parents," he snapped. "I've got a parent. Period. And he doesn't care what I do, as long as I don't get in trouble."
82
I felt stupid. Here I had known this kid for six years, and I didn't even know he only had one parent.
"All right," I said. "We'll go together."
"Why don't I just go alone?" said Peter.
I shook my head. "I got this whole thing started. It's my job." 1
Actually, I wasn't really feeling all that noble. I wanted to see Ms. Schwartz again—to make sure she was OK, and also to get some advice.
Peter shrugged. "You're the one who's going to land in hot water. If that's the way you want to do it^ it's OK with me."
Then it was time to go back inside. Even though the major weirdness was over for the day, you could sense a kind of nervous energy in the classroom. The other kids didn't really believe the rumors about Mr. Smith being an alien—at least not yet. But after the little show Stacy and Mike had put on, they were starting to take things pretty seriously.
It would have been funny, if it wasn't so scary.
The next morning I rode my bike to school, carrying my piccolo and camera in my backpack. As I was putting the lock on my front wheel, Duncan Dougal came sidling up to me and said, "If you and Peter are pulling some kind of joke on me, I'm going to turn you into peanut butter."
83
Strange as it may seem, Duncan's threat made me feel better. At least I knew there were some things in the world that I could still count
I stared at him in horror. "You're not kidding, are you?"
He shook his head.
Microsoft Corporation
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - What Can Duncan Dougal Do?
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had been worried that Broxholm might want me for one of his "average" slots. It never even crossed my mind that I could be considered the top student in the class.
"Peter, what am I going to do?" I wailed.
Peter shrugged his skinny shoulders. "Don't worry," he said. "I've got a plan."
I thought he meant the camera. He didn't, but I didn't know that then. The plan he actually meant was so weird I never would have thought of it.
I took a deep breath and tried to settle down. "I'm glad you mentioned that," I said, referring to the camera. "I think I've figured out the best time for me to get back into Broxholm's house."
"You mean us," said Peter.
I shook my head. "I mean me," I said. "I'm going
to do it tomorrow morning, during my music lesson time. That way Mr. Smith won't suspect anything when I leave the room. I figure if I use my bike, I can make it to his house and back before I'm really missed. I'll get in trouble later, but at least I'll have the proof we need."
"You're not going alone," said Peter.
"Yes, I am," I said. "If we both take off, it's going to look suspicious—especially considering the amount of time we've spent together lately. Maybe suspicious enough that Broxholm will pretend he's sick, just so he can check up on us. We don't want him walking in on us while we're taking the photos. I doubt we could manage to sneak out of his house without getting caught a second time—especially if he's actually looking for us."
"Then I should go instead," said Peter. "You might not have enough time. I'll just skip school altogether."
"Now, how can you do that?" I asked.
Peter sighed. "I keep trying to tell you, it doesn't make any difference what I do. As long as I don't get in trouble with the law, no one cares."
"Peter, that's not a very nice way to talk about your parents," I said.
"I don't have parents," he snapped. "I've got a parent. Period. And he doesn't care what I do, as long as I don't get in trouble."
82
I felt stupid. Here I had known this kid for six years, and I didn't even know he only had one parent.
"All right," I said. "We'll go together."
"Why don't I just go alone?" said Peter.
I shook my head. "I got this whole thing started. It's my job." 1
Actually, I wasn't really feeling all that noble. I wanted to see Ms. Schwartz again—to make sure she was OK, and also to get some advice.
Peter shrugged. "You're the one who's going to land in hot water. If that's the way you want to do it^ it's OK with me."
Then it was time to go back inside. Even though the major weirdness was over for the day, you could sense a kind of nervous energy in the classroom. The other kids didn't really believe the rumors about Mr. Smith being an alien—at least not yet. But after the little show Stacy and Mike had put on, they were starting to take things pretty seriously.
It would have been funny, if it wasn't so scary.
The next morning I rode my bike to school, carrying my piccolo and camera in my backpack. As I was putting the lock on my front wheel, Duncan Dougal came sidling up to me and said, "If you and Peter are pulling some kind of joke on me, I'm going to turn you into peanut butter."
83
Strange as it may seem, Duncan's threat made me feel better. At least I knew there were some things in the world that I could still count
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