Naked Tao by Robert Grant Page B

that you can’t spend your life victimized by the past. Especially something that happened when you were five years old. Ginny’s mom caught the two of you playing a game of show me yours, I’ll show you mine. Big deal…it’s normal childhood curiosity. It doesn’t make you a pervert. Her mother is obviously the sick one.” 
    I had never considered that her mother might be wrong. She had scared the shit out of me. I never wanted to feel that terror again, so I did exactly what she told me to do and hoped our paths never crossed again. I stayed away from Ginny as I was told. Public nudity was out of the question. In fact, my feelings about nudity were so intense, I even felt uncomfortable when showering. I’m pretty sure it spilled over into my sex life. Well actually, I had no sex life. Sex was out of the question prior to my marriage and, unfortunately, I think it may have ruined that as well. 
    “I guess she made me believe that’s how all women think,” I answered. 
    “Grant, you don’t know anything about women,” said Kinsey. 
    “I know they can’t be trusted,” I snapped. 
    “Really Grant…and why is that?” 
    “My wife for one…she cheated on me with another woman,” I said. 
    “You married a lesbian and now you’re shocked it didn’t work out,” said Kinsey. “Have you considered for a moment that embracing her sexual orientation is the most honest thing she could have done, or are you too caught up in your own drama as usual?” 
    She may have had a point. “I guess at some level I knew she was gay,” I said. “There was never much chemistry between us, and the truth is I liked it that way. There was no pressure to perform.” 
    Kinsey nodded and looked thoughtful. “I asked you earlier why you were searching the house for Ginny,” said Kinsey. “You never answered my question. I’m still waiting.” 
    “What does this have to do with Ginny?” I asked. 
    “You really don’t know, do you,” asked Kinsey. 
    “Know what?” 
    “She has always been in love with you,” said Kinsey. “Judging by the way you’ve been acting, you have always been in love with her too.” 
    It was too good to be true. “If she loves me, then why couldn’t I find her earlier?” 
    Kinsey made a disgusted sound. “Ginny was on the front porch making a telephone call.” 
    “Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?” 
    “Because I didn’t know earlier…one of the smokers saw her,” answered Kinsey. “You have some serious trust issues. If you don’t learn to trust, then you will never have the love you so desperately want.” 
    “Oh really,” I said. “You’re throwing a swinger party and you want to lecture me about trust.” 
    “You have some serious hang-ups,” said Kinsey. “If you can’t relax and open up you will never have a healthy sex life.” 
    “Seriously Kinsey, you call this healthy,” I said. “You guys are into some really freaky stuff. What do any of these people here tonight know about being faithful?” 
    “These people are not like your wife, Cynthia,” said Kinsey. “They are not lying to each other and they are not cheaters. You only cheat when you break the rules established for the relationship. Couples are free to make their own rules. Unfortunately, most people are afraid to discuss what they really want from the relationship, so they accept by default what they believe to be society’s rules. That never works out for them because it isn’t what they really want. Those people eventually cheat on each other. All of these people here tonight have agreed with their spouses to do this together. They are not breaking any rules. They are not cheating on each other.” 
    She could be right. Cynthia and I had never discussed what we wanted or expected from each other. I just assumed it would be heterosexual monogamy. Cynthia was obviously attracted to women and eventually she had acted on it behind my back. If I had listened to her, then