go."
"What?"
"Get
your iPad. You can work on the road."
"On the road? Where are we going?" I
asked.
"Out. I'm not going to sit here and
watch you cry. It's suffocating. We need air. Let's go."
"Okay."
I wiped away my tears, grabbed my iPad and followed him out of the office.
"Go
ahead and get your blogs written while I drive. You might want to take a nap,
too."
"Nap? How long is this trip? Where the
hell are we going?"
"Hey,
watch your language before I make you contribute to the jar."
I
knew he was joking, but he didn't crack a smile.
I
thought I was too curious to fall asleep, but I was wrong. After I typed three
of four blog posts, I drifted off. When I woke up, we were at the beach.
"Perfect
timing," Trent said, shutting off the engine. He got out the car and then
walked around to open my door. "Let's go."
Slightly
delirious, I got out of the car and followed him down a slight incline. When I
caught up with him, he was lying in a patch of sand staring up at the dark sky.
The little area was surrounded by rocks. It was like a private, hidden beach. I
sat next to him and hugged my knees. It was kind of chilly.
"This
place makes me feel small," he said into the night, well, morning. He
scooped up a handful of sand and let it run through his fingers. "Small, like one of these grains of sand. And if I'm that small. My problems are even smaller."
I
rested my head on my knees and let that sentiment marinate .
Normally, someone saying that your problems are no big deal would be kind of
offensive. But the way he put it, the whole grains of sand thing, it was kind
of beautiful.
"Did
you come here with April?" I asked.
Trent
shook his head. "She hates sand. And she thinks sea water ruins her hair
color."
Ironically,
I would have said something similar a few weeks ago. Getting sand or sea water
into relaxed hair or weaves is a nightmare. After spending $200 on a weave, you
literally protect that thing with your life. It was a huge waste of money and a
hassle to clean. But with natural hair it's not that big of a deal. You just wash and go.
I
lay down in the sand and watched as the bright spot in the east grew larger and
larger. Trent took off his jacket and tossed it to me. "Here, you're
shivering."
The
next time I looked over at Trent he was sleeping peacefully. I never thought
that would be a word I would use to describe Trent. This was a whole other side
of him.
~~~
"Mahogany,"
Trent said when he had woken up. "Mahogany Brown. You realize your name means brown brown ."
"Yeah,
I know. Vinny calls me Maggie. He thinks Mahogany
sounds too formal."
"Well,
I don't want to call you the nickname your ex uses."
"My
family calls me Michelle sometimes. It's my middle name."
"Ma-hog-any. Any. What about Annie? Does anyone call you that?"
I
thought about it for a second. "Nope. I can honestly
say that no one has ever thought to call me Annie.”
"Well,
then that is what I'm going to call you. Annie." He drifted off to sleep
again.
~~~
"Thanks,"
I said on the way home.
"Never happened."
I
remembered him using that same phrase when he caught me crying in the bathroom.
"Is that how you deal with things now? Anything uncomfortable you just
pretend it never happened?"
"Pretty
much," he answered.
"That's
no way to live life."
"Well,
it's worked for the past year and a half."
"So
that's it then? For the rest of your life you're just going to hate women,
love, and marriage or pretend they don't exist."
"That's
the plan," he said.
"Well,
that's a crappy plan."
He
looked at me as if waiting for me to continue.
"What's
that saying?" I asked finally. "Better to have loved and lost than to
never have loved at all."
Trent
rolled his eyes. Steering the car with his knees for a second, he took out his
wallet. After putting a dollar in his pocket he said, "I hate that
saying."
"Well,
it's true kinda . Just think about what it was like to
be in love. The tingly, light headed feeling you get just thinking about them. The
"What?"
"Get
your iPad. You can work on the road."
"On the road? Where are we going?" I
asked.
"Out. I'm not going to sit here and
watch you cry. It's suffocating. We need air. Let's go."
"Okay."
I wiped away my tears, grabbed my iPad and followed him out of the office.
"Go
ahead and get your blogs written while I drive. You might want to take a nap,
too."
"Nap? How long is this trip? Where the
hell are we going?"
"Hey,
watch your language before I make you contribute to the jar."
I
knew he was joking, but he didn't crack a smile.
I
thought I was too curious to fall asleep, but I was wrong. After I typed three
of four blog posts, I drifted off. When I woke up, we were at the beach.
"Perfect
timing," Trent said, shutting off the engine. He got out the car and then
walked around to open my door. "Let's go."
Slightly
delirious, I got out of the car and followed him down a slight incline. When I
caught up with him, he was lying in a patch of sand staring up at the dark sky.
The little area was surrounded by rocks. It was like a private, hidden beach. I
sat next to him and hugged my knees. It was kind of chilly.
"This
place makes me feel small," he said into the night, well, morning. He
scooped up a handful of sand and let it run through his fingers. "Small, like one of these grains of sand. And if I'm that small. My problems are even smaller."
I
rested my head on my knees and let that sentiment marinate .
Normally, someone saying that your problems are no big deal would be kind of
offensive. But the way he put it, the whole grains of sand thing, it was kind
of beautiful.
"Did
you come here with April?" I asked.
Trent
shook his head. "She hates sand. And she thinks sea water ruins her hair
color."
Ironically,
I would have said something similar a few weeks ago. Getting sand or sea water
into relaxed hair or weaves is a nightmare. After spending $200 on a weave, you
literally protect that thing with your life. It was a huge waste of money and a
hassle to clean. But with natural hair it's not that big of a deal. You just wash and go.
I
lay down in the sand and watched as the bright spot in the east grew larger and
larger. Trent took off his jacket and tossed it to me. "Here, you're
shivering."
The
next time I looked over at Trent he was sleeping peacefully. I never thought
that would be a word I would use to describe Trent. This was a whole other side
of him.
~~~
"Mahogany,"
Trent said when he had woken up. "Mahogany Brown. You realize your name means brown brown ."
"Yeah,
I know. Vinny calls me Maggie. He thinks Mahogany
sounds too formal."
"Well,
I don't want to call you the nickname your ex uses."
"My
family calls me Michelle sometimes. It's my middle name."
"Ma-hog-any. Any. What about Annie? Does anyone call you that?"
I
thought about it for a second. "Nope. I can honestly
say that no one has ever thought to call me Annie.”
"Well,
then that is what I'm going to call you. Annie." He drifted off to sleep
again.
~~~
"Thanks,"
I said on the way home.
"Never happened."
I
remembered him using that same phrase when he caught me crying in the bathroom.
"Is that how you deal with things now? Anything uncomfortable you just
pretend it never happened?"
"Pretty
much," he answered.
"That's
no way to live life."
"Well,
it's worked for the past year and a half."
"So
that's it then? For the rest of your life you're just going to hate women,
love, and marriage or pretend they don't exist."
"That's
the plan," he said.
"Well,
that's a crappy plan."
He
looked at me as if waiting for me to continue.
"What's
that saying?" I asked finally. "Better to have loved and lost than to
never have loved at all."
Trent
rolled his eyes. Steering the car with his knees for a second, he took out his
wallet. After putting a dollar in his pocket he said, "I hate that
saying."
"Well,
it's true kinda . Just think about what it was like to
be in love. The tingly, light headed feeling you get just thinking about them. The
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