Nearest Thing to Crazy by Elizabeth Forbes

half dozen?’
    ‘You know I hate charging you. You can have them for seventy-five . . .’
    ‘Absolutely not. This is business. Ooh look, you’ve got some of last year’s plum chutney. William will be thrilled. You know how he says only yours cuts the mustard . . . Oh ha, listen to me . . . cuts the mustard.’
    ‘You’re in a good mood!’ I laughed. ‘And thanks again for lunch the other day.’
    ‘Not at all. It was lovely to see you. But I’m in a bit of a muck sweat. I’ve got William’s ancient godfather and carer staying for the weekend, together with some distant cousins who I barely know. I can’t be too churlish about it as I don’t suppose they’ve got too many more years left. I only hope they don’t die over the weekend, especially if I’m going to make a cake. Perhaps I’ll cheat and buy one from Jennifer, be much better than mine. God, I nearly forgot to ask, are you feeling better?’
    ‘Better?’
    ‘Yes. Ellie said you were feeling a bit low when you went on the garden tour, and that you didn’t feel like joining us on Thursday.’
    ‘Why? What happened on Thursday?’
    ‘The cinema. It was a real shame you couldn’t come, it would have done you good . . .’
    ‘Couldn’t come . . .?’ I said, vaguely.
    ‘We all went – well, all the girls, that is. It was really jolly. We missed you. Makes such a change going to the new theatre rather than that crappy old fleapit. We had decent drinks beforehand, and nibbles, and it was all rather fun. We’re going to do it again, and next time you really must try and come.’
    ‘Well, yes, I would love to . . .’ I didn’t really know what else to say. And what did she mean, I was feeling low? Amelia must have misunderstood Ellie. Unless Ellie had completely misinterpreted what I was saying about Dan and me. I couldn’t actually remember precisely what I’d said, but I don’t think I’d led her to believe I was low, not now. But I was a little surprised that she hadn’t asked me, especially after I’d taken her on the garden tour, and I’d left all those concerned messages, and the flowers. All the girls had gone? Which girls? Amelia continued, oblivious of my confusion.
    ‘Next time. And Ellie’s such good news, a really sweet girl. She said she loved the garden tour, but she was terribly concerned about you. I’ve been meaning to call you, but what with this weekend and everything I just haven’t had a minute. Are you sure you’re okay now?’
    ‘I’m fine. Absolutely fine. No need for her to be concerned. I
always was fine,’ I said, firmly.
    ‘That’s great. I’m so glad. Anyway, darling. I’ve got to run. God
. . . I’ve just had an awful thought . . . I hope they don’t drink sherry. Oh bloody hell, I’d better stop off at the Spar and see if they’ve got any of that ghastly Hardy’s stuff. Speak soon . . .’
    ‘Bye,’ I called after her. But I was left feeling deeply confused. What did she mean, I was feeling ‘low’? I tried to concentrate on pushing my lettuces and runner beans at the trickle of customers, but when I counted up my takings I’d only got a grand total of ten pounds and seventy pence. And I used all of that to purchase the lamb I’d promised myself. I’d been too distracted to focus on my sales patter.
    When I got home the kitchen was deserted and so was the study. I felt I needed to talk to Dan, to sound him out, to see what he thought about this Ellie business. When he wasn’t preoccupied with his work he could be a sympathetic listener. Lots of my friends envied me the fact that Dan could be so ‘girlie’ when he chose to. I suppose it helped that he’d grown up with an elder sister, and that he had a daughter. And perhaps the fact that he worked in an industry that had needed to adapt itself to an increasingly significant female target market. Getting inside women’s heads was a part of his job description.
    ‘Dan?’ I called out. But the house seemed empty. It had that