Never Say Goodbye by Bethan Cooper

feet if I heard him speak one more time. I straighten up and wipe my eyes. My body becomes immediately anxious and I try to regulate my breathing. I start to walk in the direction of home, trying to forget the shit I just heard. When I reach my house, Luke’s Mercedes is sitting outside. I decide against going indoors and continue to walk down the street I knew all too well. I duck when it came to walking past the house and scatter my way to the other side of the road. I won’t take this shit. I deserve love, not someone who wants to screw around with his leftovers. I can’t help but know I already have some kind of deep feelings for him. It won’t shift or leave me alone. It’s followed me around all day and that’s why it’s hurt me. Why I have wanted to cry. I barely know him so It doesn’t matter if I have feelings or not. He’s nothing to me. I walk up to a house with a beautiful white picket fence, gazing for a little while, remembering. It’s a house, the house where my life stopped living.
       “Ella?” I turn to face the lady whose voice saved me once.
       “Oh hey, Mrs. Wilson.” She hasn’t changed since the day I met her. Her beautiful blonde hair sits neatly in a messy bun on her head. Her deep brown eyes always made me smile, and I couldn’t help but smile right now. I rub my eyes, conscious of my unbidden tears.
       “You okay sweetheart?” She asks, curiosity on her mind.
       “Yeah fine, sorry I’m intruding.” I say and turn to leave.
       “Not at all, darling. I told you you’re welcome to come around whenever you want. Always.” She smiles so sweetly at me it almost makes me burst into tears. I miss this woman.
       “Thanks,” I whisper. I try my hardest to hide my emotions but I can't. There are just too many memories.
       “Want a soda?” She asks kindly, sweetly.
I decide to take a chance and see the house one last time. Nothing else could hurt me today.
       “Yeah sure, I’ll be fine.”
       “Me too.” Her face reminds me of him so much it hurts. I follow her into the beautiful white house. It still has its red shutters and a veranda that surrounds the entire house. It makes me sad to think that I once sat on one of the old armchairs, chatting away with my best friend. We walk inside and it's exactly how I remember. The walls are painted cream with portraits of family members scattered around. She leads me to the kitchen where the table that I used to have regular dinners still sat in its place. It is white pinewood and the chairs match. I couldn't help it; I ran my fingers along the edge. I pull out my usual chair and take a seat.
       “I miss this house.” I murmur. “I’m so sorry, I don’t visit much.”
       “Ella, it’s fine, darling. I understand.” She hands me a root beer and takes a seat next to me. She places her hand on mine and tilts her head to the side. I look down at my drink and can’t hide how upset I am. ”I’m sorry, Mrs. Wilson, there are too many memories here, but I do miss it so much, even if just to get away.”
       “Ella, angel, I told you, you are welcome whenever you like. You were the love of my boy’s life. Don’t you ever forget that!” She wipes her eyes and looks deep into mine. “He loved you, Ella, we all love you, and you lit up our house on a cloudy day-”
       “You chased the rain away” I smile at the familiar words created for me with this family.
       “How is everyone? Alex, Georgie?” I ask, trying to detour the conversation from sadness.
       “They’re fine, Ella. Alexandra has now gone to college to study psychology. Gee is at high school. How are you?” She takes a long drink.
       “I’m okay, I wasn’t, but I am now. I promise.” I gave her a reassuring smile and nudged her arm with mine. “I ought to get home. Thanks for the drink, Mrs. Wilson. I’ll