me. “I found you! Finally!” It started to move towards me and Scrum shoved me to the side, standing between it and me.
“Stop right there, buggane!” he yelled, his hand out, palm up.
“Scrum,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder, “just give me a minute.”
Scrum didn’t even look back at me. “No way, Jayne. My daedar is screaming warning bells at me. This thing isn’t getting anywhere near you.”
The buggane fixed Scrum with a malevolent glare. A glob of drool fell out of its mouth and made a splatting sound as it hit the stone floor. My stomach turned over at the noise, and I tried like hell not to look at it, but my curious brain wouldn’t le me. Oh, shit. Buggane drool. I could have lived a thousand years without ever seeing that and been perfectly happy.
The entire dining hall was quiet, everyone breathlessly waiting for events to roll out. I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and noticed Finn, slowly notching an arrow in his bow.
“Finn, wait!” I yelled, turning away from him quickly because I didn’t want the monster to know who Finn was or what he was doing. I tried to distract the buggane by talking directly to him. “So, Chase, ummm, what are you doing here? In the lunchroom, I mean. Do you want some food? We have some nice squiggly meats over there you might like.”
He lifted his head and sniffed the air. “I smell a pixie. I like to eat pixies.”
That made me mad. I shoved Scrum to the side a couple inches so I could stand next to him. “The pixie’s not on the menu, boogie man. And stop drooling! This is our lunchroom, for shit’s sake. Have a little class. You know, you don’t have to act low just because you’re call a low-fae.”
The buggane frowned at me. “You are disappointed in me, Jayne? Why? I am here to protect you.”
“Of course I’m disappointed in you! You’re supposed to be ... I don’t know, representing the coolest guy I know practically – and you’re fucking it up big time. Chase doesn’t drool. And he doesn’t threaten to eat my friends. Shame on you.”
He actually looked chagrined. “Sorry.”
I looked at Scrum to see if he was as stunned by that response as I was. Yep . Then I looked at the audience of mostly changelings, holding up their plates and forks. Yep, them too. I’m not sure that any of us had the experience necessary to fairly assess a buggane’s behavior, but even to us rank amateurs, this seemed strange. I decided to just go with it.
“Good. That’s better. Now how about cleaning up the mess you made?” I waved my hand towards the floor. “Come on. Snap to it. Don’t make me wait.” Snap to it? Where in the hell did that come from? I was totally channeling B-movie dialogue without even trying.
He shuffled over to the nearest table and grabbed an abandoned napkin, going back to where he had drooled and getting down on his knees to wipe it up.
I turned to Finn and mouthed, What the fuck? And he put his hands up in response, telling me he was as baffled as I was.
Gorm stood up, the napkin held loosely in his hand, looking as if he was waiting for further instructions.
“Are you hungry? Do you want the moving meats on the buffet?”
He nodded his head silently, looking very forlorn.
“Jayne, don’t even think about it! I’m not kidding,” said a frustrated Scrum, getting madder and madder by the minute. “He’s just trying to trick you. He’s going to eat you or something.”
“He can’t. He’s been sworn to protect me.” I hoped like hell I was right, as I pushed past Scrum and headed to the buffet. I wanted to watch Gorm like a hawk the whole time, but something told me to act cool about it – as cool as it was possible for me to act when I was shaking in my moccasins.
“Jayne!” whispered Tim. “Are you completely
“Stop right there, buggane!” he yelled, his hand out, palm up.
“Scrum,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder, “just give me a minute.”
Scrum didn’t even look back at me. “No way, Jayne. My daedar is screaming warning bells at me. This thing isn’t getting anywhere near you.”
The buggane fixed Scrum with a malevolent glare. A glob of drool fell out of its mouth and made a splatting sound as it hit the stone floor. My stomach turned over at the noise, and I tried like hell not to look at it, but my curious brain wouldn’t le me. Oh, shit. Buggane drool. I could have lived a thousand years without ever seeing that and been perfectly happy.
The entire dining hall was quiet, everyone breathlessly waiting for events to roll out. I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and noticed Finn, slowly notching an arrow in his bow.
“Finn, wait!” I yelled, turning away from him quickly because I didn’t want the monster to know who Finn was or what he was doing. I tried to distract the buggane by talking directly to him. “So, Chase, ummm, what are you doing here? In the lunchroom, I mean. Do you want some food? We have some nice squiggly meats over there you might like.”
He lifted his head and sniffed the air. “I smell a pixie. I like to eat pixies.”
That made me mad. I shoved Scrum to the side a couple inches so I could stand next to him. “The pixie’s not on the menu, boogie man. And stop drooling! This is our lunchroom, for shit’s sake. Have a little class. You know, you don’t have to act low just because you’re call a low-fae.”
The buggane frowned at me. “You are disappointed in me, Jayne? Why? I am here to protect you.”
“Of course I’m disappointed in you! You’re supposed to be ... I don’t know, representing the coolest guy I know practically – and you’re fucking it up big time. Chase doesn’t drool. And he doesn’t threaten to eat my friends. Shame on you.”
He actually looked chagrined. “Sorry.”
I looked at Scrum to see if he was as stunned by that response as I was. Yep . Then I looked at the audience of mostly changelings, holding up their plates and forks. Yep, them too. I’m not sure that any of us had the experience necessary to fairly assess a buggane’s behavior, but even to us rank amateurs, this seemed strange. I decided to just go with it.
“Good. That’s better. Now how about cleaning up the mess you made?” I waved my hand towards the floor. “Come on. Snap to it. Don’t make me wait.” Snap to it? Where in the hell did that come from? I was totally channeling B-movie dialogue without even trying.
He shuffled over to the nearest table and grabbed an abandoned napkin, going back to where he had drooled and getting down on his knees to wipe it up.
I turned to Finn and mouthed, What the fuck? And he put his hands up in response, telling me he was as baffled as I was.
Gorm stood up, the napkin held loosely in his hand, looking as if he was waiting for further instructions.
“Are you hungry? Do you want the moving meats on the buffet?”
He nodded his head silently, looking very forlorn.
“Jayne, don’t even think about it! I’m not kidding,” said a frustrated Scrum, getting madder and madder by the minute. “He’s just trying to trick you. He’s going to eat you or something.”
“He can’t. He’s been sworn to protect me.” I hoped like hell I was right, as I pushed past Scrum and headed to the buffet. I wanted to watch Gorm like a hawk the whole time, but something told me to act cool about it – as cool as it was possible for me to act when I was shaking in my moccasins.
“Jayne!” whispered Tim. “Are you completely
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