You’re sarcastic, impatient behind the wheel, you don’t cook, your retirement plan sucks because you don’t have one. You spend most of your time in a padded room.”
“It’s a studio.”
Jana tapped her pen on the desk. “Get serious, or you’re gonna end up with another squirrel.”
“Let’s just write the damn paragraph.”
“You’re impulsive, often cranky, can be pushy, you—”
Payton snatched the paper out of Jana’s hand. “I can’t help but notice the negative list is longer than the positive.” Her jaw sagged. “It goes down the page!”
“Hey, I’m just being honest here.”
Payton tossed the paper aside and began to talk as she typed. “If you’re in touch with your inner squirrel, I’m not your girl. I like the theater, especially musicals. I don’t care much for sports, but I’d sit beside the right woman on Sunday afternoons if football makes her swoon. I like to talk and walk, I can do both at the same time and still chew gum. If you’re lazy, hit the bricks, Daisy, I’m not looking for a bum. I don’t cook, but for the right woman, I’d learn and happily do it while she read a book. If what I’ve written doesn’t make you uneasy, take a chance and chat with me.”
“Don’t you dare send that!” Jana wasn’t fast enough to stop Payton from hitting the enter key. She sat back with a scowl. “You’re not taking this seriously at all. That’s going in the negative column.”
“Better get a fresh sheet of paper,” Payton said offhandedly as she began to look at some of the profiles. “I’m not putting my picture on here. Oh, shit! That’s scary.” She clicked onto the next page. “Jana, this woman has a beard.”
“We’ve talked about this before, you need reading glasses. You’re looking at available straight men. Click the tab on the right and find ‘lesbian’ if you can.”
“My eyesight is fine.”
“Yeah?” Jana moved closer to Payton. “You just clicked Latino.” She nudged Payton’s hand out of the way and performed the search. “I’m not too familiar with this site. It isn’t one I used, but it’s local. I think you’ll have better luck because you’re going to need it.”
“Shut up.” Payton leaned back from the screen. “Summerlover says she’s the fun-loving outdoors type. Great sense of humor, good sense of style, above-average figure, she’s not one to brag.”
“I need to explain some things to you. Look at me for a second, focus.”
Payton turned and stared into Jana’s eyes. “This isn’t going to be good, is it?”
“You know how car dealers refer to vehicles as pre-owned instead of used? Pre-owned sounds so much better than used, but they basically mean the same thing. Above-average figure means slightly overweight. Small frame means skinny, fit usually means just that, they’re gym junkies. If you see ‘we’ll discuss it later’ next to anything, warning bells should go off.”
“What does average figure mean because that’s what you put down for me?”
Jana winced. “It means average, not skinny or overweight.”
“Then I’m fit.”
“The only muscles you work regularly are in your tongue. Let’s look at some profiles.”
Payton blew out a breath. “I’m trying not to be offended.”
“You’re honest with me, and I do the same for you. Hey, check out Lyrical77. She sings in a choir.”
“No.”
Jana moved closer to the screen and opened another profile. When the picture enlarged, she shoved Payton out of the way. “Oh, my God!”
“You’ve got a girlfriend.” Payton grunted as she tried to scoot her chair closer.
“Payton, that’s Leigh.”
“No way. Move.” They sat almost cheek to cheek staring at the profile picture. “That asshole.”
“Well, let’s not jump to conclusions. She may’ve done this before she met Ryann and just forgot to take it down. But this site is less than a year old. I was going to build a profile here, then I met Melanie and never got around to
“It’s a studio.”
Jana tapped her pen on the desk. “Get serious, or you’re gonna end up with another squirrel.”
“Let’s just write the damn paragraph.”
“You’re impulsive, often cranky, can be pushy, you—”
Payton snatched the paper out of Jana’s hand. “I can’t help but notice the negative list is longer than the positive.” Her jaw sagged. “It goes down the page!”
“Hey, I’m just being honest here.”
Payton tossed the paper aside and began to talk as she typed. “If you’re in touch with your inner squirrel, I’m not your girl. I like the theater, especially musicals. I don’t care much for sports, but I’d sit beside the right woman on Sunday afternoons if football makes her swoon. I like to talk and walk, I can do both at the same time and still chew gum. If you’re lazy, hit the bricks, Daisy, I’m not looking for a bum. I don’t cook, but for the right woman, I’d learn and happily do it while she read a book. If what I’ve written doesn’t make you uneasy, take a chance and chat with me.”
“Don’t you dare send that!” Jana wasn’t fast enough to stop Payton from hitting the enter key. She sat back with a scowl. “You’re not taking this seriously at all. That’s going in the negative column.”
“Better get a fresh sheet of paper,” Payton said offhandedly as she began to look at some of the profiles. “I’m not putting my picture on here. Oh, shit! That’s scary.” She clicked onto the next page. “Jana, this woman has a beard.”
“We’ve talked about this before, you need reading glasses. You’re looking at available straight men. Click the tab on the right and find ‘lesbian’ if you can.”
“My eyesight is fine.”
“Yeah?” Jana moved closer to Payton. “You just clicked Latino.” She nudged Payton’s hand out of the way and performed the search. “I’m not too familiar with this site. It isn’t one I used, but it’s local. I think you’ll have better luck because you’re going to need it.”
“Shut up.” Payton leaned back from the screen. “Summerlover says she’s the fun-loving outdoors type. Great sense of humor, good sense of style, above-average figure, she’s not one to brag.”
“I need to explain some things to you. Look at me for a second, focus.”
Payton turned and stared into Jana’s eyes. “This isn’t going to be good, is it?”
“You know how car dealers refer to vehicles as pre-owned instead of used? Pre-owned sounds so much better than used, but they basically mean the same thing. Above-average figure means slightly overweight. Small frame means skinny, fit usually means just that, they’re gym junkies. If you see ‘we’ll discuss it later’ next to anything, warning bells should go off.”
“What does average figure mean because that’s what you put down for me?”
Jana winced. “It means average, not skinny or overweight.”
“Then I’m fit.”
“The only muscles you work regularly are in your tongue. Let’s look at some profiles.”
Payton blew out a breath. “I’m trying not to be offended.”
“You’re honest with me, and I do the same for you. Hey, check out Lyrical77. She sings in a choir.”
“No.”
Jana moved closer to the screen and opened another profile. When the picture enlarged, she shoved Payton out of the way. “Oh, my God!”
“You’ve got a girlfriend.” Payton grunted as she tried to scoot her chair closer.
“Payton, that’s Leigh.”
“No way. Move.” They sat almost cheek to cheek staring at the profile picture. “That asshole.”
“Well, let’s not jump to conclusions. She may’ve done this before she met Ryann and just forgot to take it down. But this site is less than a year old. I was going to build a profile here, then I met Melanie and never got around to
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