Nillium Neems by Francisco J Ruiz Page A

holes in
the wall, something . To not see anything makes me worry that my mind has been at
last damaged beyond all repair. And I miss my Snoopy Cap. It almost
doesn’t seem worth living without it.
    Still, not a single doctor has come by,
leaving me to wonder if they have all but forgotten about me. It’s
almost heartening meaning they will no longer torture me with
poisons. But I do miss Hammy and the fact that he did seem to
care.
    Other than sleep, there’s not really
anything to do in here. And since I don’t do this ‘dreaming’ thing
that Dr. Higgins is so obsessed with, even sleep isn’t much fun,
just an empty blackness.
    I probably will not write for a while, my
Bookish Friend, maybe never again. I’m kind of wondering what the
point of even bothering to live is. It’s not like I’m achieving
anything in life...
     
    Nil, Out (perhaps permanently)

 
    Day 61
     
    Wow. Today has been... eventful. I’m sure
you’re glad to see me back after my last entry. At least, I hope
you’re glad. All I have to say is that I owe my life to Dr. Hammy.
Waking up from one more weary night of being alone, fearful that
the opening door was herald to some new monster, I found myself
face to face with Hammy.
    He looked furtive, sneaky, like he wasn’t
supposed to be there and knew it. I waved at him.
    "So, what’s up, Hamster?" I was rather
surprised at how casual I sounded.
    Hammy knelt down beside me. He looked sad,
near tears almost. Which surprised me. I’d long ago decided he
didn’t care afterall. It had been so long since I’d last seen
him.
    "You look awful, Nil."
    "I feel awful. Where have you been, Hammy?
It has to have been almost a month."
    He nodded sadly.
    "Yes, almost a month. They banned you from
all human contact. Not even Dr. Sirius was allowed to visit you any
longer. I’ve tried my best to get them to lift it, though they’ve
threatened to fire me twice already."
    I laughed. It was not a pleasant laugh that
came from my throat and I wished I could take it back.
    "So you cared more about your job than
helping me, is that it Hammy? You waited until they lifted the ban
to come visit, try and be my friend again?" I didn’t want the
accusation to be too evident in my voice, though by the look on his
face I knew he heard it all the same.
    "Nil," he said quietly, the almost tears
within his eyes more evident than ever. "The ban was never lifted.
I didn’t get permission to visit you."
    I blinked. I didn’t know what to say.
    "B-but if you get caught..."
    "Then my job is forfeit."
    I stared at him, unbelieving that someone
would go to those depths for crazy little me.
    "I have something for you," he said, raising
his hands, a gift held in each. I had been so concentrated on his
face, daring lies to appear within his eyes, that I hadn’t noticed
at all what he was holding. He placed a bowl full of hot food
beside me, some kind of rice with veggies and stuff on it. It
looked mouthwateringly delicious. By my attention was riveted upon
the object he held in his other hand. It was my Snoopy Cap...
    Gingerly, as if it were some precious,
fragile object, I took it out of Hammy’s hands. I turned it round
and round in my own, disbelieving that I was really holding it. I
placed it on my head and cried, leaning forward and embracing Hammy
in a hug, crying against his shoulder.
    Never in my life have I been so thankful or
felt like I truly had someone on my side. We both cried an awful
lot, though I think Hammy cried more than me.
    We talked for a while
afterwards about how things had been for both of us. We talked and
he promised that he would do what he could to get me moved back to
my old room. I actually found myself trusting him, something I’ve
never before done with anybody . If someone can help me,
then it will be Hammy. He is my friend.
    "I have to leave now," he said after a
while, rising from where he’d been seated beside me. "I can’t be
gone too long from my other duties or they might get