Nillium Neems by Francisco J Ruiz

insane."
    "By whose standards?" I asked angrily.
"Because sometimes I get the feeling that the patients aren’t the
only nut jobs in this ward."
    "None of our efforts," Sirius continued,
ignoring me, "seem to have done much to improve your sanity over
the years. In my opinion, Dr. Flagham and Dr. Higgins have been far
too lenient with you. The instant that electroshock therapy failed
to improve your attitude, they should have taken more drastic
steps."
    I stared at him in shock,
not believing the words that issued from that flat mouth. For him
to think that Dr. Higgins had been too soft with me, made me wonder in
horror what he considered to be appropriate treatment. Sadly, I
didn’t have to wonder for long, because the very next words he
spoke were exactly what he thought should be my fate. As if he were
some mediocre god, declaring judgment on his unwilling
subjects.
    "Nillium Neems. I have spoken with the Board
of Directors in this facility, explained your case to them, and
they have given me approval to take more drastic steps. The
medication I have just given you is the very strongest that Atrium
Pharmaceuticals has to offer. It is banned from use, even here at
the heart of Atrium, without express permission from the board.
They have granted me that permission, with which I intend to make
full use."
    "And what’s this new medicine do, Dr.
Sirius?"
    "If this last drug fails," he continued,
ignoring me once more, "then we will be left with no choice but to
lobotomize you. A rather archaic method of treatment, true, but
undoubtedly effective in pacifying an unruly personality. Whether
you even understand what I’m telling you matters not one bit to me,
I’m simply stating it to be official about this."
    Without a further word he left, leaving me
alone and wondering whether or not I’d even survive this new
‘medicine’. I started to shake, curling up in a little ball on my
cot. Whatever this stuff was, it was already taking effect.
    The door opened once more a moment later,
and Sirius strode back in. He crouched above my little form like
some kind of predator, and snatched my Snoopy Cap right off my
head.
    "No personal possessions," he said plainly,
and then left once more, leaving me alone and in pain.
     
    Nil, Out...

 
    Day 40
     
    I’ve been too weak to write for the last
three days straight. In and out of consciousness, hallucinating,
seeing things that clearly aren’t there. This new poison is the
worst yet. Muscle spasms almost to the point of seizure, my heart
beating so hard that it’s painful. So yeah, I’ve been in a lot of
pain. Today the effects are at last starting to wear off and have
left me weak and achy, barely able to move.
    I’d actually welcome one of those IV-Drip
things right now, since I’ve not been able to eat a thing. But this
dungeon-like room seems to lack even the most basic privileges,
including apparently, the privilege to stay alive. No one has been
in to check on me since Sirius, other than the silent man who
shoves food through my door twice a day. I’ve never seen what he
looks like, or if he even is a man.
    Life is Hell right now, not that it’s ever
been much else. No sign of Siegfried or the Mushrooms, no Snoopy
Cap or strange Book to comfort me. I’m all alone in here.
    I tried praying for a little while, since my
only hope was in someone stronger than me, but I don’t think it did
much good. It never does. I’m on my own.
    This weak little girl has now come to a
resolution. That I must do something. Because I have had enough. I
am tired of this unpleasant life, tired of pain and loss. I must do
something to change it. I must escape...
     
    Nil, Out (hopefully right out of my
cell!)

 
    Day 45
     
    Very slowly, I have
continued to recover. I am at last, nearly back to normal. Once
again, now that the hallucinations are over, I have not even once
seen anything strange. Which bugs and concerns me. I’m used to
seeing Mousy, Derrick, the Hooded Man, bugs in my food,