said. She hated it, but he brought out her competitive side. Why did she need to one-up him all the time? she wondered. She probably needed to stop reacting to everything he said. But she wasnât sure she could.
âI am. Well, fine, I needed to get out of the house for the night because you made me want to knock on your bedroom door. I thought, hey, if I am grounded from NASA, maybe this life wouldnât be too bad, and you know what?â he asked, pausing.
âWhat?â she asked after the pause lengthened.
âThat wasnât right. I was using you as an excuse to settle. And you deserve better from me than that.â
Settling...it made sense, but it still hurt. She closed her eyes. Coleâs Hill was where he went to escape from his problems. She didnât want to be an escape for him. She wanted him in her life because he wanted to be there. Not because he felt trapped and out of choices.
âFair enough. You gave me time to think as well,â she said.
âYeah, what about?â
âThat I donât want to be a fling for you. Your summer romance before you head back to NASA.â
âYou think Iâll be going back?â
She nodded. âIâve never seen you lose anything you really wanted.â She stood and carefully stepped around him. âIâll meet you over at Rupertâs.â
5
J ASON WATCHED M OLLY walk away and let her go. He had been honest, but the fact was their situation was complicated and he hadnât done either one of them any favors by leaving the house for the night because sheâd gotten too close. Heâd justified it to himself, but then he was good at doing that. He spent a lot of time alone with his thoughts. Training to be an astronaut, spending as many days orbiting Earth as he hadâit gave a man time to think.
Time to know himself better than most would be comfortable with. But heâd always been one to keep his thoughts to himself and heâd done that as heâd watched her walk away from the bench. As heâd realized the ranch had a pull on his soul that heâd never known was there.
It wasnât as strong as the call to explore the universe. But the call was there all the same. And heâd felt a tearing deep inside where heâd always been so sure that nothing could rock him.
A need. A desire for Molly and something that only she could offer him. Heâd kept his distance last night because she called to him.
No other woman would tempt him to give up his place in NASAâto give up his dreamâbut there was a part of him that knew she did.
And he couldnât justify sleeping with her...having that summer affair she was so afraid of. But he knew if they were near each other it would happen.
They wanted each other. Those kinds of sparks wouldnât be denied for long. His will would weaken and then...
Stop .
He had to stop trying to control everything. To know every outcome. He was trying to manage Molly as if she was a mission, but he couldnât be objective. He didnât think there was a man alive who could be objective about a pair of hips and legs that looked that good. He grabbed his coffee and followed her.
He put his hand on her shoulder and she turned, her long chestnut hair brushing his skin. Her hair was soft, like the cashmere lining his leather gloves. And he wanted to grab one of the tendrils and wrap it around his finger, but he didnât.
âI donât want to screw up,â he said and felt better for it. âI want to make sure I donât hurt either of us.â
âLifeâs not like that,â she said at last. âI appreciate it, but you canât do that.â
âI know. I think thatâs why Iâve spent so much time up there.â He looked at the sky. âUp there I am never distracted from the mission. I always know what to do...but with you itâs never been like that.â
âFor me, neither. Listen,
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