so at peace when she was in bed with her ex-boyfriend, shouldn’t feel so close to him. Still, it was nice not to be fighting all the time.
“I should have let you do more work,” he said. “Since you’re so concerned about all those calories you consumed.”
“There’s always next time.”
“That might have to wait until tomorrow. It’s already past my bedtime.”
“It’s not that late.”
“I have to wake up early for work, so I go to sleep early.”
“And you used to love staying up until three, then missing your morning classes.”
He laughed. “That’s true. I’ll give you that.”
Neither of them said anything for a couple minutes. When Sidney spoke again, she nearly jumped.
Especially because of what he said. “You mentioned you hadn’t had any decent sex in two years. Does that mean you had bad sex more recently?”
“I did.”
“What happened?”
“I thought men didn’t want to hear about this sort of thing. Jealousy, you know.”
“If we were still together…” He shook his head. “Never mind. I’m just curious.”
“I suppose this could be an ego boost. Because you’re much better in bed than he was.”
“Why, thank you.”
She turned her head away from Sidney; he kept stroking her back.
“The problem,” she began. It was weird to say this out loud. She hadn’t told anyone before. “The problem was that he was too big.”
“And you said this would be an ego boost.”
“Size is only good up to a certain point. Then it hurts like a bitch. And he didn’t seem to be aware that it could cause a problem, even though it must have come up in the past. I guess that was the main problem—he didn’t care how it felt for me.”
“That sucks.” Sidney said nothing for a moment. “If anything hurts, you’ll tell me, right?”
“When have I ever kept my mouth shut with you when something was wrong?”
“Very true.”
Allison had no worries of something like that happening with him; he’d always been focused on her pleasure. Plus he wasn’t inhumanly large. Just pleasantly large.
“I assume you’ve had relationships since we broke up?” he said.
“Yes, I’ve had a few. One for over a year when I was at UBC.”
“A year. Wow. What happened?”
“He graduated and got a job in Europe.”
Sidney rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
“So now you know what it’s like,” he muttered, clasping his hands behind his head.
She turned toward him. “That wasn’t the only reason I broke up with you. It wasn’t just because I was going out to BC for grad school.”
“I know. The other reason was that you thought I was a loser.”
Well, so much for feeling peaceful. That never lasted long where Sidney was concerned. Now they were back to the way things usually were between them. The way things were supposed to be.
“The main reason I dumped you,” she said, “was that I didn’t love you, though perhaps those two were connected.” How the hell could she have loved someone who couldn’t get off his ass to do anything more than make pancakes?
“Even if my life had been in order, I don’t think it would have changed anything. And I was a twenty-two-year-old student—how much could you expect?”
“That you put a tiny amount of effort into school or thinking about what you’d do afterward.”
“Even if I had, it wouldn’t have mattered,” he said. “You were so out of touch with your feelings. All you wanted was a distraction. If I’d been the love of your life, you still wouldn’t have noticed.”
“Not true. And it sure is something to hear this coming from you—you’re the one who’s sworn off relationships. All you ever want now is a distraction.”
He sighed. “I’m too tired to argue. Believe whatever you want.” He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.
But Allison lay awake for a long time, not used to the heavy breathing of a sleeping man in her bed.
At least that’s what she told herself.
Chapter
“I should have let you do more work,” he said. “Since you’re so concerned about all those calories you consumed.”
“There’s always next time.”
“That might have to wait until tomorrow. It’s already past my bedtime.”
“It’s not that late.”
“I have to wake up early for work, so I go to sleep early.”
“And you used to love staying up until three, then missing your morning classes.”
He laughed. “That’s true. I’ll give you that.”
Neither of them said anything for a couple minutes. When Sidney spoke again, she nearly jumped.
Especially because of what he said. “You mentioned you hadn’t had any decent sex in two years. Does that mean you had bad sex more recently?”
“I did.”
“What happened?”
“I thought men didn’t want to hear about this sort of thing. Jealousy, you know.”
“If we were still together…” He shook his head. “Never mind. I’m just curious.”
“I suppose this could be an ego boost. Because you’re much better in bed than he was.”
“Why, thank you.”
She turned her head away from Sidney; he kept stroking her back.
“The problem,” she began. It was weird to say this out loud. She hadn’t told anyone before. “The problem was that he was too big.”
“And you said this would be an ego boost.”
“Size is only good up to a certain point. Then it hurts like a bitch. And he didn’t seem to be aware that it could cause a problem, even though it must have come up in the past. I guess that was the main problem—he didn’t care how it felt for me.”
“That sucks.” Sidney said nothing for a moment. “If anything hurts, you’ll tell me, right?”
“When have I ever kept my mouth shut with you when something was wrong?”
“Very true.”
Allison had no worries of something like that happening with him; he’d always been focused on her pleasure. Plus he wasn’t inhumanly large. Just pleasantly large.
“I assume you’ve had relationships since we broke up?” he said.
“Yes, I’ve had a few. One for over a year when I was at UBC.”
“A year. Wow. What happened?”
“He graduated and got a job in Europe.”
Sidney rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
“So now you know what it’s like,” he muttered, clasping his hands behind his head.
She turned toward him. “That wasn’t the only reason I broke up with you. It wasn’t just because I was going out to BC for grad school.”
“I know. The other reason was that you thought I was a loser.”
Well, so much for feeling peaceful. That never lasted long where Sidney was concerned. Now they were back to the way things usually were between them. The way things were supposed to be.
“The main reason I dumped you,” she said, “was that I didn’t love you, though perhaps those two were connected.” How the hell could she have loved someone who couldn’t get off his ass to do anything more than make pancakes?
“Even if my life had been in order, I don’t think it would have changed anything. And I was a twenty-two-year-old student—how much could you expect?”
“That you put a tiny amount of effort into school or thinking about what you’d do afterward.”
“Even if I had, it wouldn’t have mattered,” he said. “You were so out of touch with your feelings. All you wanted was a distraction. If I’d been the love of your life, you still wouldn’t have noticed.”
“Not true. And it sure is something to hear this coming from you—you’re the one who’s sworn off relationships. All you ever want now is a distraction.”
He sighed. “I’m too tired to argue. Believe whatever you want.” He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.
But Allison lay awake for a long time, not used to the heavy breathing of a sleeping man in her bed.
At least that’s what she told herself.
Chapter
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