Not Looking for Love: Episode 6 (A New Adult Contemporary Romance Novel) by Lena Bourne

deserted bus stop.  
    I think of nothing else but keeping his taillights in sight for the rest of the way, don't look back, or sideways, afraid I'll lose him again.  
    It's almost two in the morning by the time I finally get back home. I'm still seeing just the taillights of the Mustang. The blood stains are covering those too now. And I really hope they'll get MaDog some other way, though I don't think that's very likely.

I pour myself a water glass of vodka and call Mike as soon as I'm back in the apartment. Tremors are still vibrating inside me, but my hands are surprisingly steady.
    "What the fuck did you get me into?" I snap once he picks up.
    "It's a little late to be calling, Scott," he drawls, his voice sounding nasal as it always does when he's doing coke. Which used to be all the fucking time last I hung out with him. Music is playing in the background, and I hear women laughing. I hope they continue to.
    "Stealing cars from rich people is one thing," I say. "Destroying evidence of murder is something completely different."
    "Just do as you're told, Scott, and don't think too much about it," he barks. "That's always been your problem, thinking too much. That, and worrying too much."
    I hang up, toss the phone across the table, watch it collide with the wall. Good. I hope it's fucking broken now.
    But it's not, and Mike calls back at least ten times. I don't pick up though. I just take off my jeans and shoes, get into bed, watch some dumb movie, and then another one.  
    I can't keep my mind on anything but this exit-less situation I'm in now. I should just call Jerry in the morning, tell him everything. Call Gail and tell her everything. A part of me knows that would be the smartest thing. Because I know I probably can't handle this shit by myself. But another, much louder part is screaming I have to. Because she has no one else, and the police failed her once before. There's little reason to believe it won't again. Funny, since she's planning on devoting her whole life to the pursuit of something as fucking fragile and unsubstantial as the law.
    By the time I finally fall asleep at dawn, all that shit is still a shapeless weight in my brain, and I'm so tired of trying to move it around, lighten it.  

    The doorbell ringing wakes me. I jump out of bed, and rush to the door, still half asleep, buzz whoever it is in. Because I'm hoping it's Gail, and I believe it is with every rushed breath I take right up until the moment Mike's standing in front of me.  
    "What do you want?" I snap, and head back inside.  
    It's getting dark like maybe I've slept for the whole day, but it might just be an overcast day.
    "For you to put some pants on, for starters," he answers following me inside.  
    If I don't think too hard about last night, it actually feels like just a dream, so that's what I'm going with.
    "You can't not answer my calls, Scott," Mike says, sitting down at the table.  
    "Fine, whatever." The more he talks the more real it all becomes. "Is that why you're here?"
    "That, and to take you to see this awesome apartment in the city you should rent," he says.
    "I'm fine here."
    He snorts. "This place is a dump. You can afford a lot better now."
    I pour some hot water over my instant coffee, because I can't be bothered to actually boil the water. It's too bitter and strong, but at least the room is not as fuzzy after a few sips.  
    "I'm not ready to move out yet," I say, leaning against the kitchen counter. I suddenly realize, I'm doing it because I don't want to be in the same room as Mike, and this is as far away from him as I can get in this small apartment. The thought scares me. When did I become this nervous wreck pussy?
    I peal myself off the counter and walk to the table, sit across from Mike.  
    “Why can't you just stop this bullshit and let me get back to my life?" I ask. And I'll keep asking, for as long as it takes.
    "That life's no good for you," he shoots back. "This is the right thing for you.