likes me. Should I say something? Start lying out in a bikini in the front yard?
W HENEVER YOU'RE MARKED ABSENT FROM A CLASS AT MY school, you get a call from the school district that night, a recorded voice that says:
“According to our records, your child missed one or more classes today. Please contact your school attendance office regarding this absence.”
Today is the third day in a row I've answered the phone and heard the recording. I haven't missed a single class. And I always drive to school with Allen, so I know he's there. At least, he's there at some point…. The last thing this family needs is a delinquent kid.
I tell my mom to call the attendance office about the mistakes they've been making.
J ULIAN COMES OVER AND A LLEN ISN'T AROUND . I' M WATCHING MTV on the couch, and Julian sits down next to me, grabs the remote, and turns off the TV.
“What's going on with you?” he asks.
“What do you mean?” I ask, staring at the blank screen.
“Do you, um, need someone to talk to… about anything?”
“So you and Allen have decided to compete for the role of replacement parent, then,” I say.
“What's that supposed to mean? You're acting like a zombie. And…well, you don't stare at me the way you used to. What's going on?”
Has he noticed how I look at him? Great. Has it really changed or is he just talking crazy? Since when does Juliannotice the way I look at him? Since when does he talk crazy? “The sky is falling. Nine models wore leg warmers in the last issue of
Seventeen
.”
“That's, uh, too bad.” He's acting weird again; he's sitting up too straight. “Did you know that prom is on a Saturday this year?” he asks. What does prom have to do with leg warmers?
“It's on a Saturday every year,” I tell him. “Who cares?”
“So, do you wanna go or what?” Julian asks.
I turn to see if he's being serious; he's staring at the blank TV screen now. He looks pained, as if he's watching someone die rather than staring at an empty gray box.
“Very funny.”
“I'm serious.”
“What? Did Allen tell you to ask me because he thinks I'm depressed or something? Are you asking me because you feel sorry for me? And isn't prom like seven years away?”
“Mia, I don't feel sorry for you. Well, I do if you really think leg warmers are a big deal…. But Allen didn't tell me to ask you. In fact, he'd probably get mad at me and tell me to keep my hands off you if he knew I was asking you.” He pauses and waits for me to say something.
I can't breathe. I can't speak. I mean, I have been preparing for this moment for my entire conscious existence, and I somehow have no idea what to say or do.
Julian continues, “I want to go with you. And I wanted to ask you before anyone else did.”
For some reason, I start staring at the TV again, too; maybe that's what I'm supposed to do and Julian is trying toshow me, so I don't get it wrong…. Or not…“If this is a joke, I will kill you.”
“Can't you make this even a little bit easy? What do I have to do? Get down on one knee?” He stops staring at the TV and looks at me. “C'mon, Meezer.”
I want to shout, “Of course I'll go. I love you. I want to bear your children. I would go snorkeling in a pit of nuclear waste with you if you asked me to.” Instead, I say, “Fine, Julian, I'll go, but only because you begged and because I needed an excuse to buy some silver leg warmers.” Brilliant. Now he probably thinks I hate him.
“Good.” He smiles and looks relieved for a second, but only a second. “Now I have to figure out what to tell your brother.”
So what if in ten years global warming is going to make the ice caps melt and flood the planet and kill off the entire human population? Who cares if my family thinks it's okay to spontaneously combust? I get to think happy thoughts and live in an alternate universe, one where Julian Paynter and I live on love and stare into each other's eyes all day between make-outs. That will be
W HENEVER YOU'RE MARKED ABSENT FROM A CLASS AT MY school, you get a call from the school district that night, a recorded voice that says:
“According to our records, your child missed one or more classes today. Please contact your school attendance office regarding this absence.”
Today is the third day in a row I've answered the phone and heard the recording. I haven't missed a single class. And I always drive to school with Allen, so I know he's there. At least, he's there at some point…. The last thing this family needs is a delinquent kid.
I tell my mom to call the attendance office about the mistakes they've been making.
J ULIAN COMES OVER AND A LLEN ISN'T AROUND . I' M WATCHING MTV on the couch, and Julian sits down next to me, grabs the remote, and turns off the TV.
“What's going on with you?” he asks.
“What do you mean?” I ask, staring at the blank screen.
“Do you, um, need someone to talk to… about anything?”
“So you and Allen have decided to compete for the role of replacement parent, then,” I say.
“What's that supposed to mean? You're acting like a zombie. And…well, you don't stare at me the way you used to. What's going on?”
Has he noticed how I look at him? Great. Has it really changed or is he just talking crazy? Since when does Juliannotice the way I look at him? Since when does he talk crazy? “The sky is falling. Nine models wore leg warmers in the last issue of
Seventeen
.”
“That's, uh, too bad.” He's acting weird again; he's sitting up too straight. “Did you know that prom is on a Saturday this year?” he asks. What does prom have to do with leg warmers?
“It's on a Saturday every year,” I tell him. “Who cares?”
“So, do you wanna go or what?” Julian asks.
I turn to see if he's being serious; he's staring at the blank TV screen now. He looks pained, as if he's watching someone die rather than staring at an empty gray box.
“Very funny.”
“I'm serious.”
“What? Did Allen tell you to ask me because he thinks I'm depressed or something? Are you asking me because you feel sorry for me? And isn't prom like seven years away?”
“Mia, I don't feel sorry for you. Well, I do if you really think leg warmers are a big deal…. But Allen didn't tell me to ask you. In fact, he'd probably get mad at me and tell me to keep my hands off you if he knew I was asking you.” He pauses and waits for me to say something.
I can't breathe. I can't speak. I mean, I have been preparing for this moment for my entire conscious existence, and I somehow have no idea what to say or do.
Julian continues, “I want to go with you. And I wanted to ask you before anyone else did.”
For some reason, I start staring at the TV again, too; maybe that's what I'm supposed to do and Julian is trying toshow me, so I don't get it wrong…. Or not…“If this is a joke, I will kill you.”
“Can't you make this even a little bit easy? What do I have to do? Get down on one knee?” He stops staring at the TV and looks at me. “C'mon, Meezer.”
I want to shout, “Of course I'll go. I love you. I want to bear your children. I would go snorkeling in a pit of nuclear waste with you if you asked me to.” Instead, I say, “Fine, Julian, I'll go, but only because you begged and because I needed an excuse to buy some silver leg warmers.” Brilliant. Now he probably thinks I hate him.
“Good.” He smiles and looks relieved for a second, but only a second. “Now I have to figure out what to tell your brother.”
So what if in ten years global warming is going to make the ice caps melt and flood the planet and kill off the entire human population? Who cares if my family thinks it's okay to spontaneously combust? I get to think happy thoughts and live in an alternate universe, one where Julian Paynter and I live on love and stare into each other's eyes all day between make-outs. That will be
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