this.
Turning back to the woman who’d been her friend the moment they’d met three years ago, Kennedy forced a smile. “Thanks for bringing me home, but I think I’d prefer to go in alone.”
Unshed tears gleamed in Julie’s eyes. “Absolutely not. I’m going to get you settled with a cup of hot tea, and then make you a good, nutritious lunch.”
She started for the door, but Kennedy held out her hand to stop her. “Please, Julie. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know, but I need to do this alone.”
“That’s the thing you keep saying and you shouldn’t. You don’t have to do anything alone. I’m here for you. Loads of people are here for you.”
“I know…” Kennedy swallowed the lump in her throat that had been with her for over a week now. “Believe me, I wouldn’t have made it this past week without you. But this…” She looked over her shoulder. “This is what I need…for right now.” Turning back to her friend, she said, “Please understand.”
Even though her eyes flashed in disapproval, she thankfully backed away, saying, “Call me if you need me.”
“Thank you.”
Kennedy waited until Julie’s car had backed out of the drive and disappeared before she turned to the front door again. At last, she could breathe. For days she had been surrounded by well-meaning people who wanted to do things for her. And while she appreciated her friends, she needed this time alone with her thoughts and her memories.
Four days ago she had buried her husband and lost their child. Yesterday, in a small private ceremony at the hospital chapel, she had said goodbye to the baby boy she’d named Thomas, Jr. and had him placed beside his father’s grave. Daddy and son were together now.
She needed to be alone for one reason—to say goodbye to Thomas, their baby, and her dreams. That might have seemed odd to some people, but to Kennedy it made perfect sense. Her life with Thomas had been sheer fantasy…something she’d dreamed about growing up, sure that such a beautiful life could never come true. People without a family, like her, raised in foster homes, didn’t get their heart’s desires. Survival was the best they could hope for. Secretly she had known that…but still she had dreamed. And for a while, that dream had been reality. Was losing her loved ones more painful than never having had them in the first place? It hurt that she didn’t know the answer to that question.
She stood just inside the entryway and allowed the memories to wash over her. The day they’d moved into the house, Thomas had carried her over the threshold. They hadn’t had furniture yet and had eaten burgers and fries in front of the fireplace. Then they’d made love on the hardwood floor. It had been uncomfortable and absolutely wonderful.
Each step she took, another memory came. The sheer delight on Thomas’s face when she’d told him she was pregnant. That night, and every night after, he’d gently kissed her belly and told their baby goodnight, too. She had never seen a man happier or more proud of impending fatherhood.
She stood in the middle of the hallway, and like a warm, gentle waterfall, more memories washed over her. Many were mundane and ordinary, but now extraordinarily sweet—like the time she’d had a bad cold and Thomas had snuggled on the sofa with her and watched three romantic comedies in a row without one complaint. Or the time they’d locked themselves out of the house and blamed each other. They’d both been in a bad mood, sniping at each other like kids, but by the time Thomas had hoisted her up into the kitchen window, they’d been laughing so hard that neither of them cared whose fault it had been.
Kennedy dropped her keys and purse on the hall table and took a deep breath. Even though she was so alone she literally ached to her soul, she felt instant peace at just being home.
Deciding that the hot tea Julie had mentioned sounded heavenly, she headed to the kitchen.
Turning back to the woman who’d been her friend the moment they’d met three years ago, Kennedy forced a smile. “Thanks for bringing me home, but I think I’d prefer to go in alone.”
Unshed tears gleamed in Julie’s eyes. “Absolutely not. I’m going to get you settled with a cup of hot tea, and then make you a good, nutritious lunch.”
She started for the door, but Kennedy held out her hand to stop her. “Please, Julie. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know, but I need to do this alone.”
“That’s the thing you keep saying and you shouldn’t. You don’t have to do anything alone. I’m here for you. Loads of people are here for you.”
“I know…” Kennedy swallowed the lump in her throat that had been with her for over a week now. “Believe me, I wouldn’t have made it this past week without you. But this…” She looked over her shoulder. “This is what I need…for right now.” Turning back to her friend, she said, “Please understand.”
Even though her eyes flashed in disapproval, she thankfully backed away, saying, “Call me if you need me.”
“Thank you.”
Kennedy waited until Julie’s car had backed out of the drive and disappeared before she turned to the front door again. At last, she could breathe. For days she had been surrounded by well-meaning people who wanted to do things for her. And while she appreciated her friends, she needed this time alone with her thoughts and her memories.
Four days ago she had buried her husband and lost their child. Yesterday, in a small private ceremony at the hospital chapel, she had said goodbye to the baby boy she’d named Thomas, Jr. and had him placed beside his father’s grave. Daddy and son were together now.
She needed to be alone for one reason—to say goodbye to Thomas, their baby, and her dreams. That might have seemed odd to some people, but to Kennedy it made perfect sense. Her life with Thomas had been sheer fantasy…something she’d dreamed about growing up, sure that such a beautiful life could never come true. People without a family, like her, raised in foster homes, didn’t get their heart’s desires. Survival was the best they could hope for. Secretly she had known that…but still she had dreamed. And for a while, that dream had been reality. Was losing her loved ones more painful than never having had them in the first place? It hurt that she didn’t know the answer to that question.
She stood just inside the entryway and allowed the memories to wash over her. The day they’d moved into the house, Thomas had carried her over the threshold. They hadn’t had furniture yet and had eaten burgers and fries in front of the fireplace. Then they’d made love on the hardwood floor. It had been uncomfortable and absolutely wonderful.
Each step she took, another memory came. The sheer delight on Thomas’s face when she’d told him she was pregnant. That night, and every night after, he’d gently kissed her belly and told their baby goodnight, too. She had never seen a man happier or more proud of impending fatherhood.
She stood in the middle of the hallway, and like a warm, gentle waterfall, more memories washed over her. Many were mundane and ordinary, but now extraordinarily sweet—like the time she’d had a bad cold and Thomas had snuggled on the sofa with her and watched three romantic comedies in a row without one complaint. Or the time they’d locked themselves out of the house and blamed each other. They’d both been in a bad mood, sniping at each other like kids, but by the time Thomas had hoisted her up into the kitchen window, they’d been laughing so hard that neither of them cared whose fault it had been.
Kennedy dropped her keys and purse on the hall table and took a deep breath. Even though she was so alone she literally ached to her soul, she felt instant peace at just being home.
Deciding that the hot tea Julie had mentioned sounded heavenly, she headed to the kitchen.
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