standing between them, he realized that he didn’t want her for a friend. He wanted more. The prom was for kids. She was right. This was grownup land. And he wanted her like a man wanted a woman. Maybe he always had.
“Will you do that?” he asked, raising his gaze to hers. “Call me if you need anything? Anything at all?”
She nodded, but he wasn’t quite sure he believed her.
He looked back at her front door when he reached his truck, nearly lifting his hand in a last wave, but she’d already closed the door.
Chapter Five
Carly didn’t call. Every time she put her hand on the phone, she hesitated, reminding herself that whatever issues Gabe still had to work out, she wasn’t putting herself in the middle. The very idea of Gabe thinking of her as some sort of duty or obligation made her want to curl up inside. It didn’t help that she could recall every sensation she felt when he was around. It was…carnal, she realized. It wasn’t just friendly or a simple kiss. As the days went on and she got comfortable in new routines, she had time to see things more clearly. She was sexually attracted to Gabe at a time when she looked in the mirror and didn’t feel sexy at all. Maybe if she had her old shape back. But it was more. She’d lost her confidence, too.
So she let it be. Besides, she was completely capable of taking care of herself. Everyone went through an adjustment after they had a baby. And she decided to give herself a break. The weather turned warmer and Nathan began to love being outside in the stroller, so the perennial beds were weeded and ready for a load of fresh mulch. Nathan also settled into a once-a-night feeding, and just the extra bit of sleep made it infinitely easier for Carly to cope with the demands of the day.
She didn’t need Gabe to rescue her at all. So it was very surprising that over each of the next two weeks, Gabe came to do the yard work. Rather than face another embarrassing conversation, she accepted it as his way of wanting to help and she let it go. Besides, it was one less chore for her to do and she had the pleasurable bonus of sneaking glimpses of Gabe riding the lawn tractor or the way his muscles flexed when he took a pair of long-handled clippers to her untidy shrubs. The fact that he didn’t knock on her door again didn’t escape her notice. It was almost as if he had something to prove…though she wasn’t quite sure what it was. And then she wondered what would happen if he did come to the door, and if she’d be brave enough to make a first move.
And then what?
She had too much history with Gabe. It would be more than just sex, and that terrified her. So she contented herself with thinking about him as she lay in bed waiting for sleep to come, or as she walked along the road pushing Nathan in his stroller, or even as she hung out tiny sleepers and undershirts on the clothesline. She thought about what they’d talked about that day in her kitchen. About how she’d crushed on him in high school, with the breathless excitement and angst that only a teen could possibly feel. How gallant he’d seemed taking her hand the night of the prom, like he’d actually wanted to do it rather than because he felt obligated to rescue his friend’s baby sister. And she thought about what she wanted now.
As much as the idea of being with Gabe still held a certain fancy, she looked around her house, looked into Nathan’s sweet little face and knew that she couldn’t put herself through the heartbreak of a failed relationship again. She knew the idea of spending the rest of her life alone sounded ludicrous, but she also couldn’t help the way she felt. Right now the thought of loving someone—of taking that risk again—was impossible. She never wanted to be that vulnerable again; never wanted to tie herself to someone for the wrong reasons. And when she looked into her son’s face, she had an even greater reason to be cautious. It wasn’t just about her anymore.
“Will you do that?” he asked, raising his gaze to hers. “Call me if you need anything? Anything at all?”
She nodded, but he wasn’t quite sure he believed her.
He looked back at her front door when he reached his truck, nearly lifting his hand in a last wave, but she’d already closed the door.
Chapter Five
Carly didn’t call. Every time she put her hand on the phone, she hesitated, reminding herself that whatever issues Gabe still had to work out, she wasn’t putting herself in the middle. The very idea of Gabe thinking of her as some sort of duty or obligation made her want to curl up inside. It didn’t help that she could recall every sensation she felt when he was around. It was…carnal, she realized. It wasn’t just friendly or a simple kiss. As the days went on and she got comfortable in new routines, she had time to see things more clearly. She was sexually attracted to Gabe at a time when she looked in the mirror and didn’t feel sexy at all. Maybe if she had her old shape back. But it was more. She’d lost her confidence, too.
So she let it be. Besides, she was completely capable of taking care of herself. Everyone went through an adjustment after they had a baby. And she decided to give herself a break. The weather turned warmer and Nathan began to love being outside in the stroller, so the perennial beds were weeded and ready for a load of fresh mulch. Nathan also settled into a once-a-night feeding, and just the extra bit of sleep made it infinitely easier for Carly to cope with the demands of the day.
She didn’t need Gabe to rescue her at all. So it was very surprising that over each of the next two weeks, Gabe came to do the yard work. Rather than face another embarrassing conversation, she accepted it as his way of wanting to help and she let it go. Besides, it was one less chore for her to do and she had the pleasurable bonus of sneaking glimpses of Gabe riding the lawn tractor or the way his muscles flexed when he took a pair of long-handled clippers to her untidy shrubs. The fact that he didn’t knock on her door again didn’t escape her notice. It was almost as if he had something to prove…though she wasn’t quite sure what it was. And then she wondered what would happen if he did come to the door, and if she’d be brave enough to make a first move.
And then what?
She had too much history with Gabe. It would be more than just sex, and that terrified her. So she contented herself with thinking about him as she lay in bed waiting for sleep to come, or as she walked along the road pushing Nathan in his stroller, or even as she hung out tiny sleepers and undershirts on the clothesline. She thought about what they’d talked about that day in her kitchen. About how she’d crushed on him in high school, with the breathless excitement and angst that only a teen could possibly feel. How gallant he’d seemed taking her hand the night of the prom, like he’d actually wanted to do it rather than because he felt obligated to rescue his friend’s baby sister. And she thought about what she wanted now.
As much as the idea of being with Gabe still held a certain fancy, she looked around her house, looked into Nathan’s sweet little face and knew that she couldn’t put herself through the heartbreak of a failed relationship again. She knew the idea of spending the rest of her life alone sounded ludicrous, but she also couldn’t help the way she felt. Right now the thought of loving someone—of taking that risk again—was impossible. She never wanted to be that vulnerable again; never wanted to tie herself to someone for the wrong reasons. And when she looked into her son’s face, she had an even greater reason to be cautious. It wasn’t just about her anymore.
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