and Jo are standing outside Suite 5. Ed always finds Jo hard going. She is certifiably insane in his opinion, an unhinged person with acres of confidence, which is a worrying combination. Ed has witnessed many of Jo’s burnouts. Whether they are hopeless work ideas or doomed relationships, Jo is a comet – fast, brightly coloured – and fizzles out very quickly. She has a short temper and a short fuse but she is packed tight with energy and enthusiasm, for whatever glittery thing has taken her eye at any given moment.
For a while the most important distractions were Ed and Silvia’s kids when they were little. Jo temporarily had a surgeof regret about not having any kids of her own, so she swamped Jamie and Cassie with her suffocating interest, over-kissing them, buying them musical instruments and taking them to too many after-school activities they didn’t want to take part in. What seven year old really wants to do a course entitled ‘Junior Buddhism for the Here and Now’? She took them to concerts and plays and museums and galleries and events and blah and blah. Lovely crazy Aunty Jo very soon became quick-hide-in-the-cupboard-to-get-away-from-her Aunty Jo.
It was a shame really, she went at it too fast, too heavy, too hard. Like everything. Why is desperation so singularly unattractive? It’s a human design fault really, because at the precise moment we desire something above all else, we are simultaneously singularly unappealing, exactly because of that desire. Kids are the first to sniff out a disingenuous person, and Jo’s unfortunate attempts were a massive turn-off for them. It was sad to witness the almost brutal shunning of her by them. They didn’t bother with niceties, they simply told her they were now fed up with it all. Thanks, but they’d see her ‘laters’. Much laters. Like, not at all. Jo was forlorn and felt she had blown her last chance at family.
Silvia took her out for too many blue cocktails, and told her to shut up and buck up. She’d got it a bit wrong, that’s all. Kids are basic and straight up. They could only be the kids they were, not the kids she wished they’d be. She couldn’t buy her popularity with them. Maddeningly, she would probably havebeen much more welcome if she’d just observed from the sidelines, but she attempted full-on friendship. Fatal.
Ed wishes that’s what Jo would do now, observe from a distance. Silvia’s silent begging for release from Jo’s ministrations is audible to him, but he knows better than to come between two fiery sisters. He carries actual scars from making that mistake before. He once caught a splinter from a broken plate in his cheek. It missed his eye by a whisker, and even though Silvia is now unstirring, he still doesn’t want to risk it.
Unfortunately, he has to let Jo be the most important person in the Silvia constellation. She must be allowed to shine brightly. She would be even more of a loose cannon if she felt quashed in any way. Strangely, he has witnessed her finding a purpose in this tragic situation. She may be misguided in her methods, but there is no doubt that Jo is up on the balls of her feet, quick and ready to respond. He hasn’t seen her keen like this for years, her bipolar lows robbing her of energy all too often. There is much to be said in favour of the quieter, sadder Jo, but no, it’s best that she is taking part.
Ed knows that Jo’s enthusiasm clearly isn’t entirely altruistic concern for her sister. These two are connected in a profound and perplexing way, linked by their common history, not often a happy one. Their dad cracked up after their mum died. He didn’t know what he was doing, tanked up on whisky against the pain of grief half the time. He retreated to his default position of army major and his two young daughters somehow, in his soaked mind, became a couple of green recruits who had to be taught life’s lessons the hard way. It was a sorry shame.
But still now, the sisters push
For a while the most important distractions were Ed and Silvia’s kids when they were little. Jo temporarily had a surgeof regret about not having any kids of her own, so she swamped Jamie and Cassie with her suffocating interest, over-kissing them, buying them musical instruments and taking them to too many after-school activities they didn’t want to take part in. What seven year old really wants to do a course entitled ‘Junior Buddhism for the Here and Now’? She took them to concerts and plays and museums and galleries and events and blah and blah. Lovely crazy Aunty Jo very soon became quick-hide-in-the-cupboard-to-get-away-from-her Aunty Jo.
It was a shame really, she went at it too fast, too heavy, too hard. Like everything. Why is desperation so singularly unattractive? It’s a human design fault really, because at the precise moment we desire something above all else, we are simultaneously singularly unappealing, exactly because of that desire. Kids are the first to sniff out a disingenuous person, and Jo’s unfortunate attempts were a massive turn-off for them. It was sad to witness the almost brutal shunning of her by them. They didn’t bother with niceties, they simply told her they were now fed up with it all. Thanks, but they’d see her ‘laters’. Much laters. Like, not at all. Jo was forlorn and felt she had blown her last chance at family.
Silvia took her out for too many blue cocktails, and told her to shut up and buck up. She’d got it a bit wrong, that’s all. Kids are basic and straight up. They could only be the kids they were, not the kids she wished they’d be. She couldn’t buy her popularity with them. Maddeningly, she would probably havebeen much more welcome if she’d just observed from the sidelines, but she attempted full-on friendship. Fatal.
Ed wishes that’s what Jo would do now, observe from a distance. Silvia’s silent begging for release from Jo’s ministrations is audible to him, but he knows better than to come between two fiery sisters. He carries actual scars from making that mistake before. He once caught a splinter from a broken plate in his cheek. It missed his eye by a whisker, and even though Silvia is now unstirring, he still doesn’t want to risk it.
Unfortunately, he has to let Jo be the most important person in the Silvia constellation. She must be allowed to shine brightly. She would be even more of a loose cannon if she felt quashed in any way. Strangely, he has witnessed her finding a purpose in this tragic situation. She may be misguided in her methods, but there is no doubt that Jo is up on the balls of her feet, quick and ready to respond. He hasn’t seen her keen like this for years, her bipolar lows robbing her of energy all too often. There is much to be said in favour of the quieter, sadder Jo, but no, it’s best that she is taking part.
Ed knows that Jo’s enthusiasm clearly isn’t entirely altruistic concern for her sister. These two are connected in a profound and perplexing way, linked by their common history, not often a happy one. Their dad cracked up after their mum died. He didn’t know what he was doing, tanked up on whisky against the pain of grief half the time. He retreated to his default position of army major and his two young daughters somehow, in his soaked mind, became a couple of green recruits who had to be taught life’s lessons the hard way. It was a sorry shame.
But still now, the sisters push
Similar Books
