Old Bones by Aaron Elkins

Ben continued to eat.
    Ray crossed his left leg over his right. Then he uncrossed them and crossed his right leg over his left. He wiggled his right foot and sighed. He jiggled the coins in his pocket.
    "What time is it now, please?" he asked.
    "It’s 8:52," Ben said. "Approximately. Would you like to borrow my watch?"
    "No, no, I never wear one. Sophie, just how are the Fougerays related to us?"
    She glanced up from buttering a torn-off end of her croissant. "Astronomically. Geologically."
    "Well, but how, exactly?"
    She popped the croissant into her mouth and licked butter from her little finger. "Well, let’s see. Claude is Guillaume’s cousin, you understand. And Guillaume was some sort of distant uncle of mine, and you’re my nephew, so—"
    "Sorry, hon," Ben said. "I hate to bring it up, but you and Guillaume were fourth cousins."
    She looked at him. "Truly? But he’s so much older, after all."
    "Doesn’t matter. Your great-great-grandfathers were brothers, and that makes Guillaume your cousin, not your uncle. And while we’re at it, Ray here’s your first cousin once removed, not your nephew."
    "Don’t be ridiculous. He’s Jeanne’s boy."
    Ben shook his head. "And Jeanne was your first cousin. Child of a first cousin is a first cousin once removed."
    Ray had heard this argument before, and he was on Sophie’s side. She and Ben had always been his aunt and uncle, and that was that. "But what about the Fougerays?" he said. "How are—oh, just for the sake of discussion—how are Claire and I related?"
    "Lord knows," Ben said.
    "Oh, come on, Ben," Sophie said. "You understand these things. You’re a lawyer."
    He laughed. "I’m a corporate lawyer. But I think—I
think
—Claire is the daughter of the first cousin of Ray’s fourth cousin once removed—Guillaume, that is—only from the other side of the family, so…"
    "Good heavens," Ray said, "I’m sorry I asked." He sagged back against the seat. Anything, beyond first cousins had always been and still was an impenetrable mystery to him.
    At that moment, Claire appeared, calm and cool in a belted trench coat. Wearing lipstick. Ray jumped up as if he’d been jabbed. After three steps he turned around to Ben and Sophie.
    "Oh, thanks," he said. "Er…’Bye." And, with Claire, he was gone.
    Sophie and Ben looked at each other, each with a single eyebrow raised. "I’ll be damned," Ben said, and got a look on his face that usually meant a homily was forthcoming. But for once he couldn’t think of one.
     
     
       HALF an hour later, Beatrice Lupis was laying out
café crème
and croissants for René du Rocher, who was seated in one of the pleasantly situated chairs in which the Buttses had had their breakfast. Mathilde was starting her first full day as mistress of the manoir by sleeping late. René was considering this unusual occurrence, wondering where it might lead, when four men in the dark berets and faded blue smocks that are the workman’s uniform of France appeared at the door.
    "We are here to begin on the drains, madame," their spokesman announced when Beatrice opened the door.
    "The drains?" Beatrice replied, and then smacked her forehead. She had completely forgotten. The ancient household drains had been showing their age in unpleasant ways for some time, but Guillaume, for reasons of his own, had chosen to ignore the problem so that the resourceful Beatrice had taken it on herself to have it attended to. Because no one even knew precisely where the drains were, the first step was the tearing up of the stone flooring in the cellar, and it was this the workmen had come to do.
    But this was not the time for it. There was a turbulent exchange between Beatrice and the foreman. Guillaume du Rocher had just been laid in his grave, she pointed out heatedly; surely out of respect for him the work might be postponed for a week?
    Certainly, the foreman replied, using his tongue to shift a toothpick from the left side of his mouth to the right. That