died?”
“That was… dirty.”
Derek’s burst of laughter filled the room and he pulled Jesse onto his back so he could face him as they spoke. “But you liked it, right?”
“Yeah, but…” He didn’t have a good answer. Yesterday it had been a public hand job with a man twice his age and now he was getting fucked within an inch of his life. This wasn't making love or a relationship. This was madness.
“I feel out of control.” Jesse left out the words “around you.” It was Derek that sent him over the edge. He was so thoroughly off-limits that once Jesse had decided to cross that line with him what he did on the other side of it was practically irrelevant.
Derek said, “You say that like it's a bad thing.”
“What do you know about it?”
“Four decades of practice. You know my reputation. I’m pretty good at losing control.”
Jesse huffed a small sound of agreement. Yes, he had heard about how Derek liked to cut loose. It was no surprise he knew how to make his body sing. He’d had plenty of practice. He’d be practicing on someone else soon.
Derek’s hand rested on his hip and Jesse's thumb ran lazy, sweeping arcs over his skin. “So tell me what else you want.”
“What?”
“Your last idea was a good one. What next?”
Jesse paused and considered his options. He should send Derek on his way. Kick him out of his bed, out the door, and all the way to Colorado before h got hurt. His body wasn’t the only part of him that craved Derek Heller, but his heart had no business falling for this wayward cowboy.
Logic and desire could only find one point of common ground, and reluctantly Jesse admitted that even if he was foolish enough to dive into the mistake that was pretending he was more than a passing whim for Derek, he needed recovery time after that last round. “I’ve had enough for tonight,” he said.
Derek nuzzled his neck. “Tell me what you want me to do to you tomorrow.”
Jesse held his breath as the offer twisted within him. Derek was leaving soon, but there was a lot he could do before then, and if he was honest with himself it was too late to completely protect his heart. If it was going to break, did it matter if it was in two pieces or four? His parents already thought they were a couple and assumed that they were having sex. Not doing it was taking the punishment without the crime.
“Tell me what you want, Jesse.”
He hesitated. He shouldn’t keep doing this, but if he was going to then he might as well get exactly what he wanted. Maybe he could just consider it an indulgence, a second piece of cake when you knew you were starting a diet soon.
Jesse swallowed hard and closed his eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that Derek would be willing to give him what he wanted, and, given how he did everything else, he was probably good at it. It wasn’t even a shocking request, just something he’d heard was supposed to be nice that hadn’t been very impressive when he’d experienced it. “Your mouth,” Jesse said.
“Mmmhmmm,” Derek purred. He trailed kisses along Jesse's neck before whispering in his ear. “What about my mouth?”
“On me,” he said.
“Tell me more.”
He took his
“That was… dirty.”
Derek’s burst of laughter filled the room and he pulled Jesse onto his back so he could face him as they spoke. “But you liked it, right?”
“Yeah, but…” He didn’t have a good answer. Yesterday it had been a public hand job with a man twice his age and now he was getting fucked within an inch of his life. This wasn't making love or a relationship. This was madness.
“I feel out of control.” Jesse left out the words “around you.” It was Derek that sent him over the edge. He was so thoroughly off-limits that once Jesse had decided to cross that line with him what he did on the other side of it was practically irrelevant.
Derek said, “You say that like it's a bad thing.”
“What do you know about it?”
“Four decades of practice. You know my reputation. I’m pretty good at losing control.”
Jesse huffed a small sound of agreement. Yes, he had heard about how Derek liked to cut loose. It was no surprise he knew how to make his body sing. He’d had plenty of practice. He’d be practicing on someone else soon.
Derek’s hand rested on his hip and Jesse's thumb ran lazy, sweeping arcs over his skin. “So tell me what else you want.”
“What?”
“Your last idea was a good one. What next?”
Jesse paused and considered his options. He should send Derek on his way. Kick him out of his bed, out the door, and all the way to Colorado before h got hurt. His body wasn’t the only part of him that craved Derek Heller, but his heart had no business falling for this wayward cowboy.
Logic and desire could only find one point of common ground, and reluctantly Jesse admitted that even if he was foolish enough to dive into the mistake that was pretending he was more than a passing whim for Derek, he needed recovery time after that last round. “I’ve had enough for tonight,” he said.
Derek nuzzled his neck. “Tell me what you want me to do to you tomorrow.”
Jesse held his breath as the offer twisted within him. Derek was leaving soon, but there was a lot he could do before then, and if he was honest with himself it was too late to completely protect his heart. If it was going to break, did it matter if it was in two pieces or four? His parents already thought they were a couple and assumed that they were having sex. Not doing it was taking the punishment without the crime.
“Tell me what you want, Jesse.”
He hesitated. He shouldn’t keep doing this, but if he was going to then he might as well get exactly what he wanted. Maybe he could just consider it an indulgence, a second piece of cake when you knew you were starting a diet soon.
Jesse swallowed hard and closed his eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that Derek would be willing to give him what he wanted, and, given how he did everything else, he was probably good at it. It wasn’t even a shocking request, just something he’d heard was supposed to be nice that hadn’t been very impressive when he’d experienced it. “Your mouth,” Jesse said.
“Mmmhmmm,” Derek purred. He trailed kisses along Jesse's neck before whispering in his ear. “What about my mouth?”
“On me,” he said.
“Tell me more.”
He took his
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