OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! by Rae Earl

Topshop!
1.33 p.m.
    He likes her.
    Keith really likes her.
    He says she has hidden depths.
    What
hidden depths?
    1.   She has FAKE Prada soap that Dimple (SUPER intelligent – knows everything) says is probably made by tiny children in sweatshops.
    2.   Her favourite programme is
The Vampire Diaries
NOT
Countryfile
!
    3.   She says real girls never fart and you can train your stomach to hold it in for days.
    I can’t even bear the thought of going back to school with MGK there.
    Keith obviously sees the good in everyone. This is annoying.
4.55 p.m.
    UNBELIEVABLY MGK wants to see Keith AGAIN. WHY?! They have NOTHING in common. It’s like the queen going down the pub with the man who works in the kebab shop.
5.16 p.m.
    Not that MGK is the queen.

5.35 p.m.
    Keith would also be anti-kebab. He would say it would offend his inner lamb and probably his inner yoghurty dressing and pitta bread too.
    That’s not fair. JEALOUS again. Am I actually the world’s most jealous person? Aquarians are not meant to be jealous! WHAT AM I? This whole Keith thing has made me wonder more about me than I ever have. It’s like everything I thought about me may be craptacular rubbish. WHO IS HATTIE MOORE? I cannot answer this question.
8.23 p.m.
    Rob just came up and sat on the bed and said he’s noticed I’d been a bit “quiet”. I told him that honestly I was so confused that I actually couldn’t even explain it. Rob then started singing this bizarre song called “There Are More Questions Than Answers” and gave me a massive hug. He said, “Hattie – I can tell you who you are. You can’t cook, you can’t hoover properly and you keep missing the bit by the skirting boards … BUT you are great company. Why don’t you stop driving yourself mad up here in your bedroom and come to KFC with me? All things come in time. Stop thinking, start doing and let’s get a Bargain Bucket!”
    So we did. Rob may be the best person ever from Guyana and maybe the world. And everything feels better after chips and gravy.
    Tomorrow I START DOING.

M ONDAY 4 TH J ANUARY
10.19 a.m.
    Time to think about what Hattie Moore REALLY wants to do this year!
    For SERIOUS LOVE you need to be full-on noticed. You need to be different yet true to yourself.
    That’s why I’m totally taking the hem up on my school skirt. New school year – new shorter-skirt Hattie. No one here will notice but boys will! LOL!
1.32 p.m.
    I think it looks OK. It goes slightly wonk-wonk in places but you can only see if you massively stare at it.
4.36 p.m.
    Mum noticed immediately. She says it’s so uneven it looks like a flamenco dancer’s dress. She was PEEING herself laughing. She’s mended it.
    I SWEAR she’s made it longer. Yes, I feel like a doughnut but at least I have DONE!
5.13 p.m.
    How come Mum notices a hem but I can be in a bad mood for weeks and she never says a word?!
7.12 p.m.
    Mum has told Gran I took the hem up on my skirt. Gran rang up to give me a lecture about it. She ended up going on about visiting the baker’s. Apparently, “The best cakes in the shop hide their filling. Only the cheap buns have their synthetic cream on show. Be a Victoria sponge, Hattie.”
    What has this got to do with me showing off more actual leg?!

T UESDAY 5 TH J ANUARY

5.16 p.m.
    TOTALLY annoying first day back at school.
    MGK is talking about Keith (her “REAL dad”) like he actually HAS saved the planet! She says he is one of the world’s most important activists and has already played a “major part in saving lots of endangered species”. In reality he really only writes a blog that is read by about 20 people worldwide, MGK! He’s hardly on an actual Greenpeace boat saving things that need saving. PLUS Gran says that when he makes out he’s doing meditation he’s actually snoring. Gran said, “Hattie, I lived through the