One-Man Band by Barbara Park

I smiled at that nice thought.
    Then I peeked over the side of my desk. And I tried to wiggle my piggy toe.
    It still felt sore.
    That's because yesterday a little trouble happened when I was practicing in my backyard. And it's called, I accidentally kicked my ball over the fence. And I didn't want to go get it. So I had to find something else to kick.
    And then ha!
    I spied Mother's brand-new watering can!
    It was the one with the funny cow painted on it.
    And it was sitting right out in the middle of the yard!
    I laughed out loud at that perfect target!
    “I bet I can kick that silly cow right over the moon!” I said.
    Then I rubbed my hands together very excited.
    And I backed all the way up to the fence.
    Then
VA-ROOM
!
    I took off running!
    And
ZOOM
!
    I ran faster and faster!
    And
KA-BOOM
!
    I kicked that can as hard as I could!
    And
OWIE OW OW
!
    That dumb-bunny can was filled full of
water
! And nobody even told me about that problem!
    I fell down in the grass very painful.
    Then I rolled around and around. And I hollered real loud.
    “MY TOE! MY TOE! MY TOE!” I hollered. “MY TOE! MY TOE! MY TOE!”
    Mother hurried to the back door.

    “Junie B.! Oh my goodness! What's wrong?” she called.
    “MY TOE IS WRONG! MY TOE IS WRONG! 911! 911!” I yelled.
    Mother hurried outside and took off my shoe and sock. She looked at my toe.
    “OW OW OW!” I yelled again.
    Mother hugged me. “What in the world did you
do
to hurt it so badly?” she asked.“Did you trip over a rock or something?”
    I did a gulp.
    ’Cause maybe I shouldn't mention that I kicked her can, possibly.
    Mother waited for me to answer.
    Then, very slow, her eyes glanced over to her cow.
    He had a giant dent in his head.
    Also, his nose did not look normal.
    Mother did a frown. “Junie B.?” she said very suspicious. “What's the story here?”
    I looked back at her real impressed.
    That woman is sharp as a tack, I tell you.
    Finally, I did a sigh. And I told her the story here.
    “Yeah, only this wasn't even my fault, Mother,” I said. “It really, really wasn't. Onaccount of at first I was practicing my kicking. And then my ball went over the fence. And so what was I supposed to do? Kick air?”
    I did a thumbs-up.
    “But good news!” I said. “’Cause just then I saw your cow can! And so I ran at him with all my might! And then I kicked him as hard as I could!
    “Only too bad for me. ’Cause that stupid thing was filled with water! And now I have a smashed piggy toe.”
    I thought for a minute.
    Then I folded my hands in my lap very quiet.
    “The end,” I said.
    Mother did not look happy with me. “Gee, imagine that. A
watering
can actually had
water
in it. How unusual,” she said.
    That is called sarcastic, I believe.
    After that, Mother carried me inside. And she called the doctor. And he told her to raise it up on a pillow and use ice.
    And so guess what?
    At first, it felt a little better.
    Only this morning when I got dressed, it hurt to put on my shoe. And so—even though it was chilly outside—Mother said I could wear sandals to school.

    And so that's how come I keep checking on it this morning. To see if it's feeling any better.
    I closed my journal real quiet. Then I bent over in my chair. And I patted my toe very gentle.
    Next to me, May made a face.
    “You shouldn't play with your feet, Junie Jones,” she whispered. “Playing with feet is what stinky people do.”
    I stuck out my tongue at that girl.
    I still get a kick out of that behavior.
    After that, I sat back up again. And I stacked my first-grade dictionary on top of my journal.
    Then I laid my head on my desk. And I daydreamed about the kickball tournament some more.
    In my dream, I was the only person in Room One who could kick the ball.
    That's because all of the other children in Room One had broken legs. On account of accidents happen sometimes.
    And so I played in the tournament all by myself.
    And I won the whole darned thing without any help!
    I