home?”
“I’m okay.” No way she was going back. With her, eh, David close, she would be too intimidated to continue where she started today. Likewise she wasn’t in her best shape. With Julie at her side she felt strong, even without the pills. Together they would succeed. At least she hoped so.
~ * ~
When the plane took off at 12.15 a.m., Ally felt raddled. Her fear about being locked up with a crowd was nothing compared to her fatigue. Thanks to her exhaustion the emotions of the other passengers seemed like a background noise, fading more and more into her subconsciousness.
For Ally this was a completely new experience. Without her medication she’d never been able to get the emotions of others out of her head. Though this wasn’t quite accurate. The pills did not keep external impressions away from her, but screened off her mind. Her thoughts, emotions, her entire personality were dimed down until she could not only feel the others, but barely herself any longer. As if she was captive inside her own body.
If she had a choice she’d go off this stuff today rather than tomorrow. But she didn’t have that choice. Her life depended on that pink crap. After all, it was helping with her heart problems.
At least that’s what she assumed until today. Meanwhile, her uncle had turned out to be a professional liar. Somebody who’d hired street rats to beat her up. Come to think of it, she could have died during the attack, judging by her state of health. The thought that her wanna-be-uncle had possibly tried to actually harm her was burning holes into her guts. He had been her family, her everything.
But she had to leave her feelings out of this. This was about her life. She had closed her eyes to David’s weird rules far too long. Now she asked herself why. But the answer was quite simple: She had trusted him.
At the moment things were looking quite different though. Thousands of inconsistencies occurred to her, stuff she’d barely paid attention to before. For example that she’d never been allowed to have birthday parties at home because he didn’t want strangers in the house. Julie had been the only exception. But even at Julie’s house she wasn’t allowed to stay overnight. Moreover, she always had to be home before it got dark. In winter this meant being home at 4.30 p.m.! That’s why she could never hang out with her friends after school, as they often did. She was always left out.
Had David isolated her on purpose?
Her head felt as if her brain was being tied in knots. No matter which directions her thoughts took, she couldn’t get over the assault and how badly the whole thing could have ended.
Had David tried to get rid of her?
If that’s the case, he changed his strategy. It must have become clear that after the botched assault another accident would have drawn too much attention. A slow death though, in the form of a daily dose of pink pills, would be more subtle… Suddenly she got nauseous. No way! She could feel what’s going on in others, she wouldn’t have missed murderous intent. Nevertheless, none of this made sense.
After take-off, Julie cracked her fingers and started to tackle the Mac Book. Where was she taking all this energy from? Ally was tired, so incredibly tired.
The steady strokes on the keyboard and the roaring of the turbines were lulling her until her eyelids dropped and she drifted into a restless sleep. She dreamed of Julie wearing a mask, looking like William Collins. David was wearing a Steven Brown mask. Both were beating her, but instead of defending herself, she was crying like a child. But it weren’t tears flowing, but emotions. She felt as if she were a leaking tanker, losing more and more emotions until all was left of her was an empty shell. A package without content.
As if she was dead.
04
With tailwinds, it was usually a ten hours flight to Paris. But they had to face headwinds, so the trip took an additional hour. Ally slept nine of
“I’m okay.” No way she was going back. With her, eh, David close, she would be too intimidated to continue where she started today. Likewise she wasn’t in her best shape. With Julie at her side she felt strong, even without the pills. Together they would succeed. At least she hoped so.
~ * ~
When the plane took off at 12.15 a.m., Ally felt raddled. Her fear about being locked up with a crowd was nothing compared to her fatigue. Thanks to her exhaustion the emotions of the other passengers seemed like a background noise, fading more and more into her subconsciousness.
For Ally this was a completely new experience. Without her medication she’d never been able to get the emotions of others out of her head. Though this wasn’t quite accurate. The pills did not keep external impressions away from her, but screened off her mind. Her thoughts, emotions, her entire personality were dimed down until she could not only feel the others, but barely herself any longer. As if she was captive inside her own body.
If she had a choice she’d go off this stuff today rather than tomorrow. But she didn’t have that choice. Her life depended on that pink crap. After all, it was helping with her heart problems.
At least that’s what she assumed until today. Meanwhile, her uncle had turned out to be a professional liar. Somebody who’d hired street rats to beat her up. Come to think of it, she could have died during the attack, judging by her state of health. The thought that her wanna-be-uncle had possibly tried to actually harm her was burning holes into her guts. He had been her family, her everything.
But she had to leave her feelings out of this. This was about her life. She had closed her eyes to David’s weird rules far too long. Now she asked herself why. But the answer was quite simple: She had trusted him.
At the moment things were looking quite different though. Thousands of inconsistencies occurred to her, stuff she’d barely paid attention to before. For example that she’d never been allowed to have birthday parties at home because he didn’t want strangers in the house. Julie had been the only exception. But even at Julie’s house she wasn’t allowed to stay overnight. Moreover, she always had to be home before it got dark. In winter this meant being home at 4.30 p.m.! That’s why she could never hang out with her friends after school, as they often did. She was always left out.
Had David isolated her on purpose?
Her head felt as if her brain was being tied in knots. No matter which directions her thoughts took, she couldn’t get over the assault and how badly the whole thing could have ended.
Had David tried to get rid of her?
If that’s the case, he changed his strategy. It must have become clear that after the botched assault another accident would have drawn too much attention. A slow death though, in the form of a daily dose of pink pills, would be more subtle… Suddenly she got nauseous. No way! She could feel what’s going on in others, she wouldn’t have missed murderous intent. Nevertheless, none of this made sense.
After take-off, Julie cracked her fingers and started to tackle the Mac Book. Where was she taking all this energy from? Ally was tired, so incredibly tired.
The steady strokes on the keyboard and the roaring of the turbines were lulling her until her eyelids dropped and she drifted into a restless sleep. She dreamed of Julie wearing a mask, looking like William Collins. David was wearing a Steven Brown mask. Both were beating her, but instead of defending herself, she was crying like a child. But it weren’t tears flowing, but emotions. She felt as if she were a leaking tanker, losing more and more emotions until all was left of her was an empty shell. A package without content.
As if she was dead.
04
With tailwinds, it was usually a ten hours flight to Paris. But they had to face headwinds, so the trip took an additional hour. Ally slept nine of
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