sweet Jesus, what did he do to you this time?”
I forced myself to stand up. I couldn’t let my mother think it was that bad. I peered at her through the blood that was in my face, and I tried to smile. “You shouldn’t be out here. If he sees you—”
“Shh.” She put a gentle hand on my cheek. There were tears in her eyes. She shook her head. “Why do you always have to work him up so bad?”
I swallowed. It tasted like blood. “I know. I’m sorry.”
She bit her lip. “He can be a good man, Jesse, but when he gets like that…”
“I screwed up.”
She looked away. “Well, you should have been married and out of here months ago. It’s no good for boys your age to be under their father’s roofs so long. It never turns out well.”
That was as close as my mother would ever get to breathing a word against my father. She was a good woman. She believed that a woman was meant to be obedient to her husband, and she was. She always stood by him, no matter what he did. He was lucky to have someone like her.
But I could see in her eyes that it hurt her to see me like this.
I couldn’t look at her. “I need to get cleaned up.”
She put her hand on my cheek again. “I love you, Jesse. And God loves you. Never forget that.”
* * *
Gideon Walker was in his mid thirties. He was a short man, with curly hair and a curly beard. His eyes were piercing. He was often smiling, and he usually looked very open and easy to get along with. But he wasn’t smiling then.
He sat in the middle of the table, with the elders flanking him, and they all stared at me with grave expressions. There were two seats in front of the table, one for me and one for my father. We were all downstairs in the meeting hall. This room was usually used for Sunday School, and there was a felt board on the wall, with little cut-outs of Jonah and the whale.
I winced every time I moved, but if the elders noticed that—or the fact that my face was swollen and bruised—they didn’t let on.
My father and I sat down in the chairs. We faced the elders and Gideon.
But the elders didn’t speak.
Instead, Gideon began the questioning. “You were found with the London girl, is that right?”
“He’s a wretched boy,” said my father. “No matter how hard I’ve tried to discipline him, I can’t get him to straighten up. I think he might be under the thrall of a demon.”
Gideon looked at me, not my father. “I’d like to hear from Jesse, if you don’t mind.”
My father gave me a venomous look, one that told me he didn’t want me to screw things up any worse than I already had.
“Jesse,” said Gideon. “It will go easier for you if you are honest with me. God sees all, and if you lie, he will know. And he’ll tell the elders the truth of things.”
Really? Well, if the elders already knew everything from God, then what was the point of questioning me? But I nodded. “Yes, I was with Abigail. But it was my idea. It wasn’t her fault. I’m the one who should be in trouble, not her.”
Gideon raised his eyebrows. “Did you force her to come along with you?”
“Well… not exactly, but I’m the one who suggested it.”
“And was that the first time you’ve been alone with Abigail London?”
I hesitated. I looked out at the elders. Did God really speak to them? “Uh… no.”
“How many times have you and this girl been alone together?” said Gideon.
“Only twice.” I looked down at my hands.
“Twice?”
“I saw her in Lebenet last week. We talked.”
“Really?” Gideon didn’t look pleased. “Didn’t Abigail have a chaperone on this trip?”
“I…” Man, now I was getting everyone in trouble. “I don’t know.”
Gideon pursed his lips. He didn’t believe me.
“Look, I’m the one who did something wrong here,” I said. “I want to focus on that, not on everyone else. The truth is, I’m in love with her. I know that we went about things the wrong way, but I want to marry her, and I think if
I forced myself to stand up. I couldn’t let my mother think it was that bad. I peered at her through the blood that was in my face, and I tried to smile. “You shouldn’t be out here. If he sees you—”
“Shh.” She put a gentle hand on my cheek. There were tears in her eyes. She shook her head. “Why do you always have to work him up so bad?”
I swallowed. It tasted like blood. “I know. I’m sorry.”
She bit her lip. “He can be a good man, Jesse, but when he gets like that…”
“I screwed up.”
She looked away. “Well, you should have been married and out of here months ago. It’s no good for boys your age to be under their father’s roofs so long. It never turns out well.”
That was as close as my mother would ever get to breathing a word against my father. She was a good woman. She believed that a woman was meant to be obedient to her husband, and she was. She always stood by him, no matter what he did. He was lucky to have someone like her.
But I could see in her eyes that it hurt her to see me like this.
I couldn’t look at her. “I need to get cleaned up.”
She put her hand on my cheek again. “I love you, Jesse. And God loves you. Never forget that.”
* * *
Gideon Walker was in his mid thirties. He was a short man, with curly hair and a curly beard. His eyes were piercing. He was often smiling, and he usually looked very open and easy to get along with. But he wasn’t smiling then.
He sat in the middle of the table, with the elders flanking him, and they all stared at me with grave expressions. There were two seats in front of the table, one for me and one for my father. We were all downstairs in the meeting hall. This room was usually used for Sunday School, and there was a felt board on the wall, with little cut-outs of Jonah and the whale.
I winced every time I moved, but if the elders noticed that—or the fact that my face was swollen and bruised—they didn’t let on.
My father and I sat down in the chairs. We faced the elders and Gideon.
But the elders didn’t speak.
Instead, Gideon began the questioning. “You were found with the London girl, is that right?”
“He’s a wretched boy,” said my father. “No matter how hard I’ve tried to discipline him, I can’t get him to straighten up. I think he might be under the thrall of a demon.”
Gideon looked at me, not my father. “I’d like to hear from Jesse, if you don’t mind.”
My father gave me a venomous look, one that told me he didn’t want me to screw things up any worse than I already had.
“Jesse,” said Gideon. “It will go easier for you if you are honest with me. God sees all, and if you lie, he will know. And he’ll tell the elders the truth of things.”
Really? Well, if the elders already knew everything from God, then what was the point of questioning me? But I nodded. “Yes, I was with Abigail. But it was my idea. It wasn’t her fault. I’m the one who should be in trouble, not her.”
Gideon raised his eyebrows. “Did you force her to come along with you?”
“Well… not exactly, but I’m the one who suggested it.”
“And was that the first time you’ve been alone with Abigail London?”
I hesitated. I looked out at the elders. Did God really speak to them? “Uh… no.”
“How many times have you and this girl been alone together?” said Gideon.
“Only twice.” I looked down at my hands.
“Twice?”
“I saw her in Lebenet last week. We talked.”
“Really?” Gideon didn’t look pleased. “Didn’t Abigail have a chaperone on this trip?”
“I…” Man, now I was getting everyone in trouble. “I don’t know.”
Gideon pursed his lips. He didn’t believe me.
“Look, I’m the one who did something wrong here,” I said. “I want to focus on that, not on everyone else. The truth is, I’m in love with her. I know that we went about things the wrong way, but I want to marry her, and I think if
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