Paper Castles by Terri Lee

came. She was beautiful. Invincible. High on his attention and desire. Adam coursing through her veins. She moved her hips slowly, black lace panties rubbing against rough denim, and watched with pleasure as Adam sunk his head into the pillow with a deep moan.
    Lifting her arms behind her head and arching her back, she saw herself in a mirror hanging over the headboard. The breath caught in her throat, startled as she stared at her reflection. Who was that woman, blonde hair loose and tousled from a lover’s hands running through it? Face flushed, eyes burning, breasts bared, and lips open.
    That’s me. No, it isn’t. It isn’t me.
    This woman looking back at her wasn’t real. She was a character that Savannah had dreamt up around a coffee house table. A woman with no past. And certainly no future.
    The mirror cracked before her eyes, fracturing the mood. What had been beautiful and sensual had turned cheap.
    A knot formed in her stomach, followed by panic rising up in her chest. Every nerve on fire, not with desire, but shame.
    “No,” she whispered.
    “No, what?” Adam looked up at her. “Savannah?”
    “No. I can’t do this.”
    She rolled off of Adam and slid off the bed, arms to her chest. Flustered and embarrassed and half-dressed. Savannah Palmerton, standing in a young man’s apartment with her clothes strewn all over the floor. What was she thinking?
    She wasn’t thinking. Only feeling. Like a teenage boy unable to control a wet dream. She’d lost sight of who she was. Lost sight of everything. She could lose it all. For what? A pale imitation of lovemaking?
    Adam scooted up and sat with his back against the headboard, still breathing hard as his hand rubbed his lips. He watched with a mix of bewilderment and annoyance as she retrieved her bra from the floor.
    “Savannah, for Christ’s sake, talk to me.”
    She was shaking now, arms twisted behind her back, barely able to manage the two hooks and eyes on the lacy garment. She scrambled around, picking up stockings and a garter belt, then wriggled back into her skirt. A striptease in reverse. The button on her skirt broke under her trembling fingers and rolled under the bed.
    “Dammit.” Her voice was fevered; she was on the verge of hyperventilating.
    “Calm down, Savannah.” Adam looked as confused as she was.
    “I can’t do this.” She held her stockings in her hand as if offering him a consolation prize. “I’m sorry.”
    Adam’s arms wrapped around his knees and he shook his head. Shirtless, jeans open, with tousled hair, he was more of a Greek god than ever, but now, his face turned cruel.
    “You know, I wouldn’t have pegged you for a prick-tease.”
    She winced, although she guessed it was deserved. “It wasn’t my intention.”
    “What was, then? Second base? A little heavy petting before your parents get home?”
    “I wasn’t trying to string you along. I wanted this. Or ...I thought I did.”
    He ran his hands through his hair. “You can have anything you want, Savannah.”
    “Says the man with nothing to lose.”
    He looked at her and their eyes held for a crystal moment, trying to find a place to connect again. But the two-foot space between them was expanding.
    “Look, Adam...” Every cell in her body was screaming at her to retreat, but she took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves long enough to speak to him. “I’m not the woman you think I am.”
    His eyes challenged her. “Would’ve been nice if you’d figured that out before you came.”
    “I know. I’m sorry.”
    “Just because you’re miserable doesn’t give you the right to play with other people’s lives.” He tossed the truth on the floor and it landed near her bare feet.
    “You’re right.” She picked it up and turned it over in her hand. “I was playing a game I had no business playing and I got carried away.”
    “And carried me right along with you.”
    It was hard to look him in the eye, but she forced herself. “It was easy to