Parenting the ADD Child: Can't Do? Won't Do? Practical Strategies for Managing Behaviour Problems in Children with ADD and ADHD by David Pentecost
Authors: David Pentecost
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early stages.
Avoid having a list full of privileges that can only be paid for once
a month. It is crucial that your list should contain rewards and
privileges that the child can spend her points on at least once a
day. ADD children often need easy wins when they are trying to
change. To begin with, it is important to see that your child gets
the regular reinforcement of a treat earned each day. If she has a
bad day points can dry up and the big prize - e.g. a video recorder
at 2000 points - may drift away from her. It is much better to offer
rewards such as half an hour's TV (for 50 points), which can be
earned and spent daily, than a big 1000-point prize that may never
materialise.
• Don't deduct points for bad behaviour - `less-of behaviours are
coming, but don't jump the gun. Your child must first earn some
points and get some rewards. If you start deducting points too
early she will not earn the numbers of points that make rewards
and privileges possible. Often a child will acquire minus points
within a few days. This only lowers her self-confidence and
frightens her off the HPS.
A positive start is crucial - introduce the programme to your child
in a positive manner. Explain that you have learned a method by
which she may be able to earn rewards and privileges by being
good. Be creative with younger children, who can get really
excited by the idea of a game. Spark their imagination!
• Involve your child. It is very important that she has time to
understand what you are trying to do. Remember, you must review
the rewards and privilege list with her, and try to establish
incentives that appeal to her. Explain the behaviours that you want
to see more of. Let her know why you have put them on the list.
Explain their value in points and tell her the positive change that
your joint efforts will bring to both your life and hers.
Review! Review! Having done all this, it's usually wise to go back
over the rewards and privileges with your child to see if she has
got any extra suggestions about the cost of each privilege and the
types of reward that you have selected.
Frequently asked questions
Q `Will it work?'
A: Yes, in almost all cases, if you follow the rules.
Q_ `What if my child hoards points?'
A: Warning: Hoarder! Children often hoard points to earn something they
really prize. Some can only be motivated by a larger reward. If you have a
hoarder on your hands, there is no point in fighting against it. Let your child
accumulate points. The trick is to keep the value of the prize she has set her
heart on relatively low. If it is too high she is liable to miss out and become
disappointed, with the added danger that she may turn against the HPS.
This you don't want.
Q. `Should I include my other children in the HPS?'
A: Why not? In my experience most children benefit from the structure and
incentives offered by the system. There's a chance that your ADD child will
feel less as if she has been singled out if you do.
Q. 'Is my child too young to understand an HPS-particularly the points and totals?'
A: Good point. For younger children some special guidelines apply.
TIPS FOR SUCCESS WITH YOUNGER CHILDREN
• Use little drawings to depict the more-of behaviours. A match-stick
figure getting out of bed or putting clothes on is fine to show this
is one of the behaviours you are looking for.
• But keep up the writing too - it helps their learning.
• Numbers are often too abstract for younger children. Things that
can be seen and touched have more meaning, so convert points into plastic tokens. Have a jar ready to collect these - and make it
visible.
• Don't make your token system too elaborate. Some parents opt for
different-coloured tokens, others use plastic money - the majority
rely on a simple system to ensure that their four- or five-year-old
can follow what is going on.
`Star charts' are becoming popular in many primary schools. Copy
the same system at
Avoid having a list full of privileges that can only be paid for once
a month. It is crucial that your list should contain rewards and
privileges that the child can spend her points on at least once a
day. ADD children often need easy wins when they are trying to
change. To begin with, it is important to see that your child gets
the regular reinforcement of a treat earned each day. If she has a
bad day points can dry up and the big prize - e.g. a video recorder
at 2000 points - may drift away from her. It is much better to offer
rewards such as half an hour's TV (for 50 points), which can be
earned and spent daily, than a big 1000-point prize that may never
materialise.
• Don't deduct points for bad behaviour - `less-of behaviours are
coming, but don't jump the gun. Your child must first earn some
points and get some rewards. If you start deducting points too
early she will not earn the numbers of points that make rewards
and privileges possible. Often a child will acquire minus points
within a few days. This only lowers her self-confidence and
frightens her off the HPS.
A positive start is crucial - introduce the programme to your child
in a positive manner. Explain that you have learned a method by
which she may be able to earn rewards and privileges by being
good. Be creative with younger children, who can get really
excited by the idea of a game. Spark their imagination!
• Involve your child. It is very important that she has time to
understand what you are trying to do. Remember, you must review
the rewards and privilege list with her, and try to establish
incentives that appeal to her. Explain the behaviours that you want
to see more of. Let her know why you have put them on the list.
Explain their value in points and tell her the positive change that
your joint efforts will bring to both your life and hers.
Review! Review! Having done all this, it's usually wise to go back
over the rewards and privileges with your child to see if she has
got any extra suggestions about the cost of each privilege and the
types of reward that you have selected.
Frequently asked questions
Q `Will it work?'
A: Yes, in almost all cases, if you follow the rules.
Q_ `What if my child hoards points?'
A: Warning: Hoarder! Children often hoard points to earn something they
really prize. Some can only be motivated by a larger reward. If you have a
hoarder on your hands, there is no point in fighting against it. Let your child
accumulate points. The trick is to keep the value of the prize she has set her
heart on relatively low. If it is too high she is liable to miss out and become
disappointed, with the added danger that she may turn against the HPS.
This you don't want.
Q. `Should I include my other children in the HPS?'
A: Why not? In my experience most children benefit from the structure and
incentives offered by the system. There's a chance that your ADD child will
feel less as if she has been singled out if you do.
Q. 'Is my child too young to understand an HPS-particularly the points and totals?'
A: Good point. For younger children some special guidelines apply.
TIPS FOR SUCCESS WITH YOUNGER CHILDREN
• Use little drawings to depict the more-of behaviours. A match-stick
figure getting out of bed or putting clothes on is fine to show this
is one of the behaviours you are looking for.
• But keep up the writing too - it helps their learning.
• Numbers are often too abstract for younger children. Things that
can be seen and touched have more meaning, so convert points into plastic tokens. Have a jar ready to collect these - and make it
visible.
• Don't make your token system too elaborate. Some parents opt for
different-coloured tokens, others use plastic money - the majority
rely on a simple system to ensure that their four- or five-year-old
can follow what is going on.
`Star charts' are becoming popular in many primary schools. Copy
the same system at
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