Pastor's Assignment by Kim O'Brien

accident. She thought it was granola.”
    The pastor chuckled. “That’s a good one,” he said. “Gerbil food and granola. I’ll have to use it in a sermon sometime.”
    Laney hugged herself hard. She could imagine her mother-in-law’s hair standing on end at the thought.
    Pastor Bruce stroked his chin. “You were seen at Miguel’s spying on your mother-in-law.” He drew a long breath. “And now half the women in our church are praying for you, although no one is quite sure why.”
    â€œOh.” She blinked. “I can explain.” But could she?
    â€œThe minute I graded your premarital exam, I knew there were problems,” Pastor Bruce continued.
    â€œHave a cookie,” Laney said, because short of confessing everything, she couldn’t think of much else to say. She ripped open a bag of carob-chip cookies.
    Pastor Bruce broke off a small piece. “I planned to wait until this coming Sunday for your next premarital workshop session, but I’ll just tell you right now.”
    â€œTell me what?”
    â€œThe premarital exam you and Rock took last week. . .” The pastor absently pushed the books on the table. When he looked up, his round face looked truly apologetic. “You failed.”
    â€œWe failed?” Laney hadn’t known it was possible.
    Pastor Bruce nodded sadly. “You scored a perfect zero. In all my years of counseling engaged couples, I’ve never seen any couple score so low.”
    What was Pastor Bruce talking about? Everyone who saw them together said they made a perfect couple. Rock was always solicitous, opening doors for her, handing her his coat in chilly rooms. They even looked alike, with fair skin and sun-streaked brown hair.
    â€œYou and Rock need to talk about things,” Pastor Bruce concluded gravely.
    â€œWe talk,” Laney said. She heard the defensive note in her voice. “Just yesterday he left me three pounds of candy bars in a basket on my front steps.”
    Laney didn’t add that peanuts gave her a rash or that she never kept chocolate in the store because it could kill Angel if he ate it.
    â€œObviously you both care a great deal for each other, but you shouldn’t go into a marriage knowing so little about one another.”
    â€œWe may not know all the details about each other’s lives,” Laney said, “but we know the important stuff.” She drew a breath and wiped hair off her face. “I love him.”
    Pastor Bruce shook his head. “My test is foolproof. Trust me.” He reached for another cookie and broke it in half. “Of course, you know I can’t perform any wedding until the couple passes my premarital test.” He held up his hand before Laney could protest. “I know it sounds like tough love, but believe me, Laney—it’s for your own good.”
    â€œYou won’t marry us?” Laney repeated faintly. Rock would pop a vein.
    â€œNot until you pass the test.”
    â€œCan we retest?”
    Pastor Bruce beamed. “Absolutely,” he said. “You should go home tonight and call Rock. Start talking and find out everything you can about each other.” Pastor Bruce paused to wag his finger at her. “It’s going to be a different test.”
    Laney wondered how to break the news to Rock. He hated to fail at anything. She remembered last year’s Fourth of July family softball game. The score had been tied and the bases loaded with two outs in the ninth inning. Rock had stepped to the plate, then deliberately into the path of her brother’s fastball. He’d received an automatic walk to first base, which had pushed home the winning run.
    â€œI’ll call Rock right away,” Laney promised. “I’m sure the next time we’re going to ace this exam.”
    Pastor Bruce smiled and rose to his feet. “I’m glad I came here today.” He brushed cookie crumbs off his