else lay a hand on it. "Do you want me to give it to him?" I asked.
She nodded yes.
I reached it out to Dr. Greyson, and he took it. "May I read this out loud, or do you want to keep it between us?" he asked Emma.
She shrugged.
"Okay, if I'm going to read this out loud, I want you to have my stop bell," he said and pulled a little silver bell from his drawer. "If I start to get to a part you don't want read aloud, you just ring that bell. If you want me to stop reading all together, you ring it three times, okay?" he asked and passed me the bell to give to her.
She nodded okay.
He opened the book, and I held my breath, waiting for the chance to get inside her mind…
I was not happy to have to come to the doctor, but I know why Devin did it. He was right to do it. I’m such a huge burden on him and his family. I didn't realize how broken I was, until I was forced back into the real world. Everything is so different from my life before. I wonder if I’m ever going to be that girl again and hope that maybe I can be.
Her first entry was short, but left me feeling hopeful.
I like to watch Devin, and he doesn't know it, but I know he’s watching me constantly. I watch him watching me. I can see him in the reflection of the pots in the kitchen and sometimes in the window at night. I see him looking after me, and I feel safe. It feels good to feel safe.
I felt a little guilty for getting caught watching her constantly. My face burned with embarrassment, but I was glad she felt safe and not creeped out. She squeezed my hand.
Abby is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I want to be strong like her. She looks after me and everyone who comes into her restaurant. I overhear her laughter from the dining hall, and I listen carefully to hear her speak people's names and ask about their families. She knows them and loves them. I wish I wasn't broken, so I could love like her.
"You're not broken," I whispered to her.
She frowned at me.
"Okay, maybe a little dinged up, but we'll fix it," I smiled, and she rolled her eyes.
Devin is restless at night. I wonder what bothers him. I don't want him to have nightmares. I sit next to his bed at night, humming to him like I did on the ship, but now it’s to calm him so he has happy dreams, not to keep him asleep so I can stretch. His hair is soft. I like to touch it when he’s asleep.
She blushed, and I leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Thank you," was all I said, and she smiled timidly up at me.
These pills make me sleepy. It’s been harder to avoid my nightmares. I’ve taken to getting up at night and sitting in the tub. The cold hard surface makes me feel safe, like when I hid on the ship. I knew I was safe. I still doze off, and I still dream. It’s never the same dream, always a different part, always a different face, a different piece of the puzzle I’m trying to throw away. I wonder sometimes how many pieces there are in this puzzle of Hell.
"Very eloquent," Dr. Greyson said.
Clayton is big, he reminds me of…
Those were the last words Dr. Greyson was able to read, before the silver bell rang clearly three times.
Dr. Greyson looked up at her and smiled, as he stopped reading and closed the book. "Good job, Emma. I want you to know you can expect to have your privacy respected." He passed the book to me, and I gave it back to her. I knew she kept a fair distance from Clayton, and now I knew why. He reminded her of someone from before. My Little One was making great strides by even being able to be around him.
I kissed her forehead. "You're doing great," I whispered, and she snuggled deeper into my side.
"Emma, I gathered from your notes that you're not sleeping well, and that can really make your anxiety worse. For this next writing assignment, I want you to spend the week focusing on things that make you feel good and help you relax. It can be anything from the smell of something to the feel of something, like you mentioned the bathtub. Just focus on what
She nodded yes.
I reached it out to Dr. Greyson, and he took it. "May I read this out loud, or do you want to keep it between us?" he asked Emma.
She shrugged.
"Okay, if I'm going to read this out loud, I want you to have my stop bell," he said and pulled a little silver bell from his drawer. "If I start to get to a part you don't want read aloud, you just ring that bell. If you want me to stop reading all together, you ring it three times, okay?" he asked and passed me the bell to give to her.
She nodded okay.
He opened the book, and I held my breath, waiting for the chance to get inside her mind…
I was not happy to have to come to the doctor, but I know why Devin did it. He was right to do it. I’m such a huge burden on him and his family. I didn't realize how broken I was, until I was forced back into the real world. Everything is so different from my life before. I wonder if I’m ever going to be that girl again and hope that maybe I can be.
Her first entry was short, but left me feeling hopeful.
I like to watch Devin, and he doesn't know it, but I know he’s watching me constantly. I watch him watching me. I can see him in the reflection of the pots in the kitchen and sometimes in the window at night. I see him looking after me, and I feel safe. It feels good to feel safe.
I felt a little guilty for getting caught watching her constantly. My face burned with embarrassment, but I was glad she felt safe and not creeped out. She squeezed my hand.
Abby is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I want to be strong like her. She looks after me and everyone who comes into her restaurant. I overhear her laughter from the dining hall, and I listen carefully to hear her speak people's names and ask about their families. She knows them and loves them. I wish I wasn't broken, so I could love like her.
"You're not broken," I whispered to her.
She frowned at me.
"Okay, maybe a little dinged up, but we'll fix it," I smiled, and she rolled her eyes.
Devin is restless at night. I wonder what bothers him. I don't want him to have nightmares. I sit next to his bed at night, humming to him like I did on the ship, but now it’s to calm him so he has happy dreams, not to keep him asleep so I can stretch. His hair is soft. I like to touch it when he’s asleep.
She blushed, and I leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Thank you," was all I said, and she smiled timidly up at me.
These pills make me sleepy. It’s been harder to avoid my nightmares. I’ve taken to getting up at night and sitting in the tub. The cold hard surface makes me feel safe, like when I hid on the ship. I knew I was safe. I still doze off, and I still dream. It’s never the same dream, always a different part, always a different face, a different piece of the puzzle I’m trying to throw away. I wonder sometimes how many pieces there are in this puzzle of Hell.
"Very eloquent," Dr. Greyson said.
Clayton is big, he reminds me of…
Those were the last words Dr. Greyson was able to read, before the silver bell rang clearly three times.
Dr. Greyson looked up at her and smiled, as he stopped reading and closed the book. "Good job, Emma. I want you to know you can expect to have your privacy respected." He passed the book to me, and I gave it back to her. I knew she kept a fair distance from Clayton, and now I knew why. He reminded her of someone from before. My Little One was making great strides by even being able to be around him.
I kissed her forehead. "You're doing great," I whispered, and she snuggled deeper into my side.
"Emma, I gathered from your notes that you're not sleeping well, and that can really make your anxiety worse. For this next writing assignment, I want you to spend the week focusing on things that make you feel good and help you relax. It can be anything from the smell of something to the feel of something, like you mentioned the bathtub. Just focus on what
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