Phule's Paradise

Phule's Paradise by Robert Asprin (rsv)

Book: Phule's Paradise by Robert Asprin (rsv) Read Free Book Online
Authors: Robert Asprin (rsv)
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it at that, sir. I've been trying not to make a big thing of my experience. Seen too many new blokes to an outfit come in ringing the mission bell and preaching to the heathens how they should be doing things. The noncoms you have seem to be doing a right good job, especially since you got them back on track. Truth is, it's been a bit of a treat for me to be back in the ranks-letting others do the thinking and just following orders."
          "I see," Phule said, then reached for his notepad. "Well, Moustache, I'm afraid your vacation is over, as of now. I'm refusing your offer as a volunteer, and instead am assigning you duty as an acting sergeant for this assignment. We'll see about making it permanent when it's all over."
          "Yes, sir. Very good, sir."
          The Legionnaire snapped into a rigid, parade-ground salute, but Phule did not return it immediately.
          "Just one more thing, Moustache. Excuse me for asking, but exactly what is that accent you have, anyway?"
          "Holo-movie, sir," the Legionnaire said, flashing another quick smile. "I never could master the Southern American drawl that's so popular with noncoms, so I settled for the next best thing. Studied every war holo I could find with a proper British sergeant major in it. It may not be authentic, but after forty years, it's habitual ... sir!"
     
    And so it went, hour after hour, volunteer after volunteer.
          True to Becker's prediction, even with making an extra effort to keep the interviews brief, it was late even by Phule's standards when the last Legionnaire had been dealt with. Finally alone, he tried to review his notes, but set them aside with a sigh when his eyes refused to focus.
          He didn't really need to read the list to confirm what he already knew. While he had more than enough volunteers for a full complement, there was one name missing from the roster, one he had been counting on since receiving the assignment.
          Glancing at his watch, he debated briefly over whether he should call it a night and deal with this problem in the morning. At this hour, the Legionnaire in question would probably already be asleep, and ...
          With a conscious effort, the commander accepted a mental compromise. He'd just make a casual walk-by of the Legionnaire's room and then, if the lights were out, he'd get some sleep himself.
     
    "Come in, Captain. I've been expecting you."
          Sushi set aside the book he had been reading and beckoned his commander through the open door and into a chair.
          "Sorry to be calling so late," Phule managed, sinking into the offered seat, "but there were a lot of volunteers for the new duty-more than I expected, really."
          "More than you need?"
          "Well ... yes and no," the commander hedged, glancing around the room. "Where's your partner?"
          "Do-Wop? He headed into town to do a little celebrating. Late as it is, I expect he won't be back until morning."
          "Good, good," Phule said absently. Now that he had found Sushi, he wasn't quite sure what to say to him. "I, um ... wanted to talk to you."
          "Let me make this easy for you, Captain," the Legionnaire said, holding up a hand. "You want to know why I didn't volunteer. Right?"
          "Well ... yes. If it isn't prying, that is. I would have thought the assignment would be a natural for you. Considering ..."
          He let his voice trail off, leaving unsaid what was already common knowledge between the two of them.
          Phule knew Sushi-or, at least, had a passing acquaintance with him-from before their respective enlistments in the Space Legion. They had traveled in the same, or similar, circles, both coming from exceptionally wealthy families. Phule also knew, as did a few in the company, that Sushi was an embezzler and that most of the money he had stolen had gone to finance a passion for casino gambling.
          "I should think

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