plié, up and down, then flung my arms out at my sides. “Am I beautiful or what? I look like one of those mold mushrooms you find on the bottoms of logs.”
“My, how we’ve grown,” Eve said.
I turned and almost gasped out loud. The purple dress hugged her waist and hips and breasts, so smooth you could see the indentation of her navel. Her hair was pulled back with a purple sequined headband, emphasizing the cords of her neck. “Holy shit,” I said. “You look like a stripper.”
Eve swayed her hips and tossed back her head, singing, her voice deep and throaty. “Oooh, I heard it through the grapevine…”
I watched her sway, hands caressing her body, then turned to the mirror, my own stretched burlap image. I felt the tears of laughter drying tight on my cheeks, and I suddenly remembered years ago when we were eight or nine, Eve had stolen a pack of cigarettes from the Caines. Daddy found it and we both got spanked till our butts were blue, but even before that, when I first saw the pack in our top dresser drawer, I’d felt this same muted tremble in my stomach, like a warning.
5
I SLAND WEATHER IS FICKLE. Especially in the fall, the wind can come from nowhere, taking air that feels like summer and turning it into winter. The ferries stopped on days like this, banked on the protected mainland, isolating us completely from the outside world. The island’s only twelve miles from the coast of Rhode Island, but on a stormy night it might as well be a thousand.
Eve and I sat together on the living room couch, watching the windows rattle and sheet with water. The fury of it was both frightening and fascinating, like something huge and shrieking with pain.
I remembered suddenly a long-ago winter with this same howling wind, Eve and I waking with simultaneous screams, Daddy’s face a white moon appearing at our door. He’d taken us down here and we’d huddled in the warmth of cocoa and cuddles, listening to the ice pelting against the windows and wondering if the glass might crack.
“Remember Daddy reading out loud,” I said now, “us sitting here like this? He used to say, ‘I have two girls because I have two knees,’ remember that?”
Outside there was a crash of thunder. The lights flickered. “Amelia Bedelia,” Eve said. “You loved those books.”
“How come he stopped reading to us?”
Eve raised her eyebrows. “We stopped fitting on his knees?”
A fierce blast of wind gusted through the window seals to flutter at the curtains. There was a sudden pop and the lights flickered out. “Damn,” Eve said.
I slid away from her. After a minute I stood and walked to the window, pulled the drapes and stood there a long while without turning. “How come I never thought about how hard it was for him till after it was too late? I keep thinking about that, if I had one more day with him.”
“You’d do what, tell him you’re sorry? You understood? It wasn’t our job to take care of him.”
There was a knock on the front door, and it opened before we could answer. “You guys here? Jesus, I feel like I just went swimming.” Justin bent to rub the wet from his hair, leaving it rumpled and spiky. “I didn’t know if you’d have candles.”
He set a bag down on the floor and took out three pillar candles and a book of matches, all dripping wet. He stared at the matches, then shrugged. “Oops.”
“I’ll find some.” I went to the kitchen and searched through drawers, finally found the lighter Daddy had used for his pipe. When I got back to the living room Eve was laughing.
“Well, at least the buckets work,” Justin said, sitting on the sofa next to her. “But all I can tell you is I’ll be totally useless as a husband. I mean if you want your bike fixed, fine. If you want to hear a bedtime story, I can probably do that too, but you need someone to look at your roof, forget it.”
“There’s more important things than fixing leaks,” Eve said. “We were just talking about
“My, how we’ve grown,” Eve said.
I turned and almost gasped out loud. The purple dress hugged her waist and hips and breasts, so smooth you could see the indentation of her navel. Her hair was pulled back with a purple sequined headband, emphasizing the cords of her neck. “Holy shit,” I said. “You look like a stripper.”
Eve swayed her hips and tossed back her head, singing, her voice deep and throaty. “Oooh, I heard it through the grapevine…”
I watched her sway, hands caressing her body, then turned to the mirror, my own stretched burlap image. I felt the tears of laughter drying tight on my cheeks, and I suddenly remembered years ago when we were eight or nine, Eve had stolen a pack of cigarettes from the Caines. Daddy found it and we both got spanked till our butts were blue, but even before that, when I first saw the pack in our top dresser drawer, I’d felt this same muted tremble in my stomach, like a warning.
5
I SLAND WEATHER IS FICKLE. Especially in the fall, the wind can come from nowhere, taking air that feels like summer and turning it into winter. The ferries stopped on days like this, banked on the protected mainland, isolating us completely from the outside world. The island’s only twelve miles from the coast of Rhode Island, but on a stormy night it might as well be a thousand.
Eve and I sat together on the living room couch, watching the windows rattle and sheet with water. The fury of it was both frightening and fascinating, like something huge and shrieking with pain.
I remembered suddenly a long-ago winter with this same howling wind, Eve and I waking with simultaneous screams, Daddy’s face a white moon appearing at our door. He’d taken us down here and we’d huddled in the warmth of cocoa and cuddles, listening to the ice pelting against the windows and wondering if the glass might crack.
“Remember Daddy reading out loud,” I said now, “us sitting here like this? He used to say, ‘I have two girls because I have two knees,’ remember that?”
Outside there was a crash of thunder. The lights flickered. “Amelia Bedelia,” Eve said. “You loved those books.”
“How come he stopped reading to us?”
Eve raised her eyebrows. “We stopped fitting on his knees?”
A fierce blast of wind gusted through the window seals to flutter at the curtains. There was a sudden pop and the lights flickered out. “Damn,” Eve said.
I slid away from her. After a minute I stood and walked to the window, pulled the drapes and stood there a long while without turning. “How come I never thought about how hard it was for him till after it was too late? I keep thinking about that, if I had one more day with him.”
“You’d do what, tell him you’re sorry? You understood? It wasn’t our job to take care of him.”
There was a knock on the front door, and it opened before we could answer. “You guys here? Jesus, I feel like I just went swimming.” Justin bent to rub the wet from his hair, leaving it rumpled and spiky. “I didn’t know if you’d have candles.”
He set a bag down on the floor and took out three pillar candles and a book of matches, all dripping wet. He stared at the matches, then shrugged. “Oops.”
“I’ll find some.” I went to the kitchen and searched through drawers, finally found the lighter Daddy had used for his pipe. When I got back to the living room Eve was laughing.
“Well, at least the buckets work,” Justin said, sitting on the sofa next to her. “But all I can tell you is I’ll be totally useless as a husband. I mean if you want your bike fixed, fine. If you want to hear a bedtime story, I can probably do that too, but you need someone to look at your roof, forget it.”
“There’s more important things than fixing leaks,” Eve said. “We were just talking about
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