was stated to contain no noxious or habit-forming drugs and to be endorsed by leading doctors. So I thought I would look in at Bulstrode’s in the High Street and buy a bottle. It was somewhat embarrassing walking into the shop and asking for it, and I thought I noticed Bulstrode’s young assistant give me a sort of sharp look as much as to say “Oho!” but I nerved myself to the ordeal, and Bulstrode’s young assistant wrapped the bottle up in paper and fastened the loose ends with a little pink sealing wax.’
‘Beach, you have been warned!’
‘Do be quiet, Gally. And that was that, eh?’
A spasm shook Beach.
‘If I may employ a vulgarism, miss, you do not know the half of it.’
‘More coming?’
‘Much, much more, miss.’
‘Well, here I am, Beach, with the old ear trumpet right at the ear.’
‘Thank you, miss.’
Beach closed his eyes for a moment, as if praying for strength.
‘I had scarcely paid for my purchase and received my change when the telephone bell rang. Bulstrode’s young assistant went to the instrument.’
‘And a dead body fell out?’
‘Miss?’
‘Sorry. My mind was on Mr Vail’s stories. Carry on. You have the floor. What happened?’
‘He spoke a few words into the instrument. “Okey-doke”, I remember, was one of them, and “Righty-ho”, from which I gathered that he was speaking to a customer of the lower middle class, what is sometimes called the burjoisy. Then he turned to me with a smile and observed “Well, that is what I call a proper coincidence, Mr Beach. Never rains but it pours, does it? That was Herbert Binstead. And know what he wants? Six bottles of Slimmo, the large economy size.”’
Gally started as if he had been bitten in the leg by Baronets.
‘What!’
‘Yes, Mr Galahad.’
‘That fellow Binstead was buying Slimmo?’
‘Yes, Mr Galahad.’
‘Good God!’
Penny looked from one to the other, perplexed.
‘But why shouldn’t he buy Slimmo? Maybe he’s a leading doctor.’
Gally spoke in a voice of doom.
‘Herbert Binstead is Gregory Parsloe’s butler. And if you have the idea that he may have been buying this anti-fat for his own personal use, correct that view. He’s as thin as a herring. His motive is obvious. One reads the man like a book. Acting under Parsloe’s instructions, he plans to pass this Slimmo on to the accomplice Simmons, who will slip it privily into the Empress’s daily ration, thus causing her to lose weight, thus handing the race on a plate to Queen of Matchingham. Am I right, Beach?’
‘I fear so, Mr Galahad. It was the first thought that entered my mind when Bulstrode’s young assistant revealed to me the gist of his telephone conversation.’
‘No explanation other than the one that I have outlined will fit the facts. I told you Parsloe was mustard, Penny. He moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform.’
Silence fell, one of those deep, uneasy silences which occur when all good men realize that now is the time for them to come to the aid of the party but are unable to figure out just how to set about doing so.
But it was not in the nature of the Hon. Galahad to be baffled for long. A brain like his, honed to razor-like sharpness by years of association with the members of the Pelican Club, is never at a loss for more than a moment.
‘Well, there you are,’ he said. ‘The first shot of the campaign has been fired, and soon the battle will be joined. We must consider our plan of action.’
‘Which is what?’ said Penny. ‘I don’t see where you go from here. I take it the idea is to keep an eye on this Simmons beazel, but how is it to be done? You can’t watch her all the time.’
‘Exactly. So we must engage the services of someone who can, someone trained to the task, someone whose profession it is to keep an eye on the criminal classes, and most fortunately we are able to lay our hand on just such a person. The guiding spirit of Digby’s Day and Night Detectives.’
Beach
‘Beach, you have been warned!’
‘Do be quiet, Gally. And that was that, eh?’
A spasm shook Beach.
‘If I may employ a vulgarism, miss, you do not know the half of it.’
‘More coming?’
‘Much, much more, miss.’
‘Well, here I am, Beach, with the old ear trumpet right at the ear.’
‘Thank you, miss.’
Beach closed his eyes for a moment, as if praying for strength.
‘I had scarcely paid for my purchase and received my change when the telephone bell rang. Bulstrode’s young assistant went to the instrument.’
‘And a dead body fell out?’
‘Miss?’
‘Sorry. My mind was on Mr Vail’s stories. Carry on. You have the floor. What happened?’
‘He spoke a few words into the instrument. “Okey-doke”, I remember, was one of them, and “Righty-ho”, from which I gathered that he was speaking to a customer of the lower middle class, what is sometimes called the burjoisy. Then he turned to me with a smile and observed “Well, that is what I call a proper coincidence, Mr Beach. Never rains but it pours, does it? That was Herbert Binstead. And know what he wants? Six bottles of Slimmo, the large economy size.”’
Gally started as if he had been bitten in the leg by Baronets.
‘What!’
‘Yes, Mr Galahad.’
‘That fellow Binstead was buying Slimmo?’
‘Yes, Mr Galahad.’
‘Good God!’
Penny looked from one to the other, perplexed.
‘But why shouldn’t he buy Slimmo? Maybe he’s a leading doctor.’
Gally spoke in a voice of doom.
‘Herbert Binstead is Gregory Parsloe’s butler. And if you have the idea that he may have been buying this anti-fat for his own personal use, correct that view. He’s as thin as a herring. His motive is obvious. One reads the man like a book. Acting under Parsloe’s instructions, he plans to pass this Slimmo on to the accomplice Simmons, who will slip it privily into the Empress’s daily ration, thus causing her to lose weight, thus handing the race on a plate to Queen of Matchingham. Am I right, Beach?’
‘I fear so, Mr Galahad. It was the first thought that entered my mind when Bulstrode’s young assistant revealed to me the gist of his telephone conversation.’
‘No explanation other than the one that I have outlined will fit the facts. I told you Parsloe was mustard, Penny. He moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform.’
Silence fell, one of those deep, uneasy silences which occur when all good men realize that now is the time for them to come to the aid of the party but are unable to figure out just how to set about doing so.
But it was not in the nature of the Hon. Galahad to be baffled for long. A brain like his, honed to razor-like sharpness by years of association with the members of the Pelican Club, is never at a loss for more than a moment.
‘Well, there you are,’ he said. ‘The first shot of the campaign has been fired, and soon the battle will be joined. We must consider our plan of action.’
‘Which is what?’ said Penny. ‘I don’t see where you go from here. I take it the idea is to keep an eye on this Simmons beazel, but how is it to be done? You can’t watch her all the time.’
‘Exactly. So we must engage the services of someone who can, someone trained to the task, someone whose profession it is to keep an eye on the criminal classes, and most fortunately we are able to lay our hand on just such a person. The guiding spirit of Digby’s Day and Night Detectives.’
Beach
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