could smell tequila on Lara’s breath. “There are all kinds of stories about that lake. Some girl got pregnant and drowned herself. And there’s supposedly a school bus down there. It was carrying a bunch of kids home from a field trip and the driver lost control. It sank right to the bottom. It rolls around in the current. The water’s so cold no one decomposed, and if you go diving, sometimes you see them.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said. “That’s a lake . It doesn’t have a current.”
She picked up a pebble and turned it over in her hands. “If you stare into it long enough, you’ll see . . . things.” She stared out at the lake. “Like when you stare into the darkness. Shapes start to move. You think it’s a pile of clothes, but it’s someone sitting in your chair. Someone dead. In your room. Watching you sleep.
“Or you’re half-asleep and you hear something under your bed. You think it’s your cat . . . except, maybe, your cat ran away . . . ”
I knew she was trying to scare me, but I didn’t scare easily. She thought I was just like all these other girls who would let themselves be spooked, so Mandy could have her fun. I was so past that.
After all, I’d watched my mom die.
“Thanks for the warning.” I smoothed my hair out of my eyes as the wind batted at it. “I’ll be sure not to look.”
“Some people can’t help but look,” Lara said. “Like when there’s a car accident. They slow down to gawk.”
“Okay, this is about as morbid as I can—”
She dropped the pebble on the ground. Looked at me.
“Mandy likes you,” she said.
“That’s great.” I tried not to sound snippy. Because it actually warmed me a little bit inside. No. No, no, no , I told myself. Danger. Been there.
“So it’s all settled,” Mandy herself said in a loud voice. I turned back, to see her clasping Julie’s hand and swinging it back and forth as they strolled. Julie looked like she was about to wet her jeans.
“What?” I asked.
“Julie’s helping us with a prank tomorrow night. How about you, Linz? Are you in?” She fake-batted her lashes at me.
I looked at Julie. She smiled at me please, please, please?
And suddenly I knew that San Diego had accompanied me to Marlwood. What was the saying? No matter where you go, there you are . I had a choice, here and now, to place another bet at popularity roulette or stay well away.
“Can I watch?” I hedged. That would get me there, so I could make sure they didn’t kill Julie, but I wouldn’t be an official participant. Kinda in, and not out.
“Yes. You can be our safety monitor,” Mandy told me grandly. “Make sure we don’t harm any animals.” She tousled Julie’s hair. “Or roommates.”
Lara snickered.
“I’m sure it will be superfun,” I snarked, sounding a little edgier than I’d intended.
Mandy’s grin practically split her face. “You are such a freak,” she told me.
“Just give us the deets,” Julie said. Then, uncertainly, “Details.”
“You got it, toots,” Mandy replied, fixing her attention on Julie.
Canary, meet cat.
Alone in our room , we got ready for bed—I wore a long T-shirt and a pair of socks—and it took me awhile to settle down. “Everybody thinks it’s funny until it’s their turn. But when you’re singled out by the clique, it hurts worse than it feels good,” I warned her.
“ O-kay ,” Julie muttered, clearly not interested in my lecture. In a few minutes, she was snoring lightly, and I remembered how I used to beg my mom and dad for a little sister. They discovered my mom’s ovarian cancer when she had a miscarriage.
I began to drift, and dream, and somehow, in that way that people doze, I thought I felt . . . not felt . . . it was nothing physical . . . I sensed that someone was there . . . and I heard myself whisper, “Mom?”
seven
I couldn’t move and it was coming and it was here.
I was panting, screaming, clawing.
Sweat rolled off me. The back of
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said. “That’s a lake . It doesn’t have a current.”
She picked up a pebble and turned it over in her hands. “If you stare into it long enough, you’ll see . . . things.” She stared out at the lake. “Like when you stare into the darkness. Shapes start to move. You think it’s a pile of clothes, but it’s someone sitting in your chair. Someone dead. In your room. Watching you sleep.
“Or you’re half-asleep and you hear something under your bed. You think it’s your cat . . . except, maybe, your cat ran away . . . ”
I knew she was trying to scare me, but I didn’t scare easily. She thought I was just like all these other girls who would let themselves be spooked, so Mandy could have her fun. I was so past that.
After all, I’d watched my mom die.
“Thanks for the warning.” I smoothed my hair out of my eyes as the wind batted at it. “I’ll be sure not to look.”
“Some people can’t help but look,” Lara said. “Like when there’s a car accident. They slow down to gawk.”
“Okay, this is about as morbid as I can—”
She dropped the pebble on the ground. Looked at me.
“Mandy likes you,” she said.
“That’s great.” I tried not to sound snippy. Because it actually warmed me a little bit inside. No. No, no, no , I told myself. Danger. Been there.
“So it’s all settled,” Mandy herself said in a loud voice. I turned back, to see her clasping Julie’s hand and swinging it back and forth as they strolled. Julie looked like she was about to wet her jeans.
“What?” I asked.
“Julie’s helping us with a prank tomorrow night. How about you, Linz? Are you in?” She fake-batted her lashes at me.
I looked at Julie. She smiled at me please, please, please?
And suddenly I knew that San Diego had accompanied me to Marlwood. What was the saying? No matter where you go, there you are . I had a choice, here and now, to place another bet at popularity roulette or stay well away.
“Can I watch?” I hedged. That would get me there, so I could make sure they didn’t kill Julie, but I wouldn’t be an official participant. Kinda in, and not out.
“Yes. You can be our safety monitor,” Mandy told me grandly. “Make sure we don’t harm any animals.” She tousled Julie’s hair. “Or roommates.”
Lara snickered.
“I’m sure it will be superfun,” I snarked, sounding a little edgier than I’d intended.
Mandy’s grin practically split her face. “You are such a freak,” she told me.
“Just give us the deets,” Julie said. Then, uncertainly, “Details.”
“You got it, toots,” Mandy replied, fixing her attention on Julie.
Canary, meet cat.
Alone in our room , we got ready for bed—I wore a long T-shirt and a pair of socks—and it took me awhile to settle down. “Everybody thinks it’s funny until it’s their turn. But when you’re singled out by the clique, it hurts worse than it feels good,” I warned her.
“ O-kay ,” Julie muttered, clearly not interested in my lecture. In a few minutes, she was snoring lightly, and I remembered how I used to beg my mom and dad for a little sister. They discovered my mom’s ovarian cancer when she had a miscarriage.
I began to drift, and dream, and somehow, in that way that people doze, I thought I felt . . . not felt . . . it was nothing physical . . . I sensed that someone was there . . . and I heard myself whisper, “Mom?”
seven
I couldn’t move and it was coming and it was here.
I was panting, screaming, clawing.
Sweat rolled off me. The back of
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