door behind him.
“Maybe you wouldn’t have wanted me around,” Jared said.
“What!” She embraced him again and held him close, as if hewere eight years old again and had come home from school crying because some older kids had made fun of him.
Jared pulled away. “So they got cameras out there in the front yard.”
“I guess we’re the story of the month.”
“That’s why I came in the back. Don’t think anybody saw me hop the wall.”
Dallas practically pushed him into a kitchen chair.
“Where’ve you been?” She sat across from him.
“Bakersfield. Painting houses.”
“Good work?” she asked.
“Used to be.”
“What does that mean?”
He sat back in the chair. “Did he do it?”
The directness of the question and the coldness of it hit Dallas like a blow. “No, of course he didn’t do it.”
“How do you know?”
“How can you say that?”
He drummed the tabletop with his fingers. “Anybody’s capable of anything.”
“Not your father.”
“Come on, Mom. Why not Dad? He’s human, isn’t he?” His eyes, cool and aloof, seemed to catch a vision. “We can do bad things — ”
“But not what they’re accusing him of. I know he couldn’t have done that.”
“Did you know this girl?”
“No, she was someone your father was counseling. She had a troubled background. Anybody could have killed her.”
“Right. Anybody but Dad.”
Dallas looked at her son and hardly knew him. She supposed she hadn’t known him since he returned from Iraq, but now he seemed even farther away.
“Listen to me, Jared. Carefully. I’ve seen your dad, looked in his eyes. He’s confused and scared. He tried to help a girl in trouble, that’s all, and then he wakes up accused of a horrible crime. And now he’s in a jail cell and everyone is writing about him as a criminal. He’s been convicted in the papers, the tabloids, and with oh-somuch glee. Can’t you give him the benefit of the doubt?” “When did he ever do that for me?” Jared stood up, almost
knocking his chair over. He turned his back on her. She felt the
onrush of bad memories from the many times Jared and Ron fought
and screamed at each other.
Suddenly Jared laughed. It was a short, disturbing chuckle. He
faced her. “It’s funny. I remember a sermon Dad did once, about
going through trials. I remember he said that sometimes God hits
a Christian with suffering in order to get his attention, if he’s been
sinning. And so that’s how suffering can be a good thing, la-dida. I remember that, Mom, because it scared the juice out of me.
Because I knew what a rotten kid I was and — ”
“Jared — ”
“Listen! I knew what a screwed-up case I was, so I was just getting ready to get hit with it, get God’s freaking wrath poured all
over me. Well, I’m over that now. Whatever this world is about,
it’s about getting garbage all over you. So maybe Dad was off doing
something he shouldn’t have, and now he can say God’s getting his
attention.”
Jared sat down again, looking halfway conciliatory. “Look, Mom.
I don’t know what I’m talking about. Forget it. If you saw Dad and
don’t think he did it, that’s good enough for me. I just don’t want
to see you hurt, you know? That’s the only reason I’m here. It’s not
because of him. It’s because of you.”
“Will you see him?” Dallas said.
“No.”
“He’s still your father . ”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Stop it!” Dallas stood up. “I know you’re hurt, Jared, and I know
you’ve been through an ordeal. But don’t disrespect your father. He
doesn’t deserve that.”
“Relax, Mom, I’m not going to — ”
“Do you understand me?”
Jared looked away from her. “I’m not a little kid, Mom.”
But he was her kid, no matter what. Dallas embraced him again.
He said nothing but at least made no move to break away from her.
“Do you have to go back to Bakersfield?” she said. “Can you stay?”
“I sort of lost my job up there,” Jared said. “You know, if I ran
“Maybe you wouldn’t have wanted me around,” Jared said.
“What!” She embraced him again and held him close, as if hewere eight years old again and had come home from school crying because some older kids had made fun of him.
Jared pulled away. “So they got cameras out there in the front yard.”
“I guess we’re the story of the month.”
“That’s why I came in the back. Don’t think anybody saw me hop the wall.”
Dallas practically pushed him into a kitchen chair.
“Where’ve you been?” She sat across from him.
“Bakersfield. Painting houses.”
“Good work?” she asked.
“Used to be.”
“What does that mean?”
He sat back in the chair. “Did he do it?”
The directness of the question and the coldness of it hit Dallas like a blow. “No, of course he didn’t do it.”
“How do you know?”
“How can you say that?”
He drummed the tabletop with his fingers. “Anybody’s capable of anything.”
“Not your father.”
“Come on, Mom. Why not Dad? He’s human, isn’t he?” His eyes, cool and aloof, seemed to catch a vision. “We can do bad things — ”
“But not what they’re accusing him of. I know he couldn’t have done that.”
“Did you know this girl?”
“No, she was someone your father was counseling. She had a troubled background. Anybody could have killed her.”
“Right. Anybody but Dad.”
Dallas looked at her son and hardly knew him. She supposed she hadn’t known him since he returned from Iraq, but now he seemed even farther away.
“Listen to me, Jared. Carefully. I’ve seen your dad, looked in his eyes. He’s confused and scared. He tried to help a girl in trouble, that’s all, and then he wakes up accused of a horrible crime. And now he’s in a jail cell and everyone is writing about him as a criminal. He’s been convicted in the papers, the tabloids, and with oh-somuch glee. Can’t you give him the benefit of the doubt?” “When did he ever do that for me?” Jared stood up, almost
knocking his chair over. He turned his back on her. She felt the
onrush of bad memories from the many times Jared and Ron fought
and screamed at each other.
Suddenly Jared laughed. It was a short, disturbing chuckle. He
faced her. “It’s funny. I remember a sermon Dad did once, about
going through trials. I remember he said that sometimes God hits
a Christian with suffering in order to get his attention, if he’s been
sinning. And so that’s how suffering can be a good thing, la-dida. I remember that, Mom, because it scared the juice out of me.
Because I knew what a rotten kid I was and — ”
“Jared — ”
“Listen! I knew what a screwed-up case I was, so I was just getting ready to get hit with it, get God’s freaking wrath poured all
over me. Well, I’m over that now. Whatever this world is about,
it’s about getting garbage all over you. So maybe Dad was off doing
something he shouldn’t have, and now he can say God’s getting his
attention.”
Jared sat down again, looking halfway conciliatory. “Look, Mom.
I don’t know what I’m talking about. Forget it. If you saw Dad and
don’t think he did it, that’s good enough for me. I just don’t want
to see you hurt, you know? That’s the only reason I’m here. It’s not
because of him. It’s because of you.”
“Will you see him?” Dallas said.
“No.”
“He’s still your father . ”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Stop it!” Dallas stood up. “I know you’re hurt, Jared, and I know
you’ve been through an ordeal. But don’t disrespect your father. He
doesn’t deserve that.”
“Relax, Mom, I’m not going to — ”
“Do you understand me?”
Jared looked away from her. “I’m not a little kid, Mom.”
But he was her kid, no matter what. Dallas embraced him again.
He said nothing but at least made no move to break away from her.
“Do you have to go back to Bakersfield?” she said. “Can you stay?”
“I sort of lost my job up there,” Jared said. “You know, if I ran
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