what college boys do. She doesn’t know any college boys. Or if she does they’re probably frat boys. And Michael isn’t even in a frat. Besides, Michael really loves you. It’s obvious just in the way he looks at you. If you don’t want to Do It, don’t Do It.
Yeah, but what about what Lana said?????
Michael isn’t one of those guys who would dump you just for not Doing It with him. I mean, maybe the guys LANA knows would do this. Like Josh Richter, for instance. Or that Ramon guy. He looks kind of sketchy, But not Michael. Because he actually CARES about you. Besides, I really don’t think Michael expects you to Do It. At least, not right now.
REALLY??????
Really. I mean, it would be kind of presumptuous of him. You guys have not even been going out for a year. I don’t think anyone should Do It with a guy unless they’ve been going out for at least a year. And then they have to Do It for the first time on prom night. Because when you Do It for the first time, the boy should be wearing a tux. It’s only polite.
Tina, I barely managed to get Michael to take me to the prom once. I highly doubt I’m ever going to be able to get him to go again.
Hmmm. Well, coronations count. I’m sure it would be just as romantic to Do It for the first time after your coronation.
I’m not having a coronation until after my dad dies and leaves me the throne!!!! I could be as old as Prince Charles by the time that happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do WANT to Do It, before I’m ANCIENT, you know. Just not, you know. NOW.
Well, then you just need to tell Michael that. You two really need to have The Talk. You need to get this all out in the open. Because communication is the key to success in a romantic relationship.
Have you and Boris had it? You know, The Talk. About DOING IT?
Of course!!!! I mean, providing things don’t work out between Prince William and me, Boris knows that if he ever hopes to be bestowed the gift of my flower, he will need to do it after the prom
on a king-sized bed with white satin sheets
in a deluxe suite with Central Park views
at the Four Seasons over on East 57th Street
with champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries upon arrival
an aromatherapy bath for after
then waffles for two in bed the next morning.
Oh. Tina, I don’t know how to break this to you…but that sounds like a little more than Boris might be able to afford. I mean, he IS still in high school.
I know. That’s why I suggested he start saving his allowance now. Also, that he better have more than just that one condom he’s been carrying around in his wallet for the past two years.
Boris has a condom in his wallet???? Right NOW??????????
Oh, yes. He is very proactive. That is one of the reasons I love him.
WOULD YOU GUYS PLEASE QUIT PASSING NOTES AND PAY ATTENTION? THIS IS THE BEST TEACHER WE HAVE EVER HAD AND YOU TWO ARE TOTALLY EMBARRASSING ME WITH YOUR INABILITY TO PAY ATTENTION—
Wait. What’s this about a condom?
Nothing! Eyes front!
Who are you guys talking about, anyway?
No one, Lilly. Never mind. Look, she’s passing back our expository writing samples.
I suppose you think that’s going to distract me. I want to know who you guys are talking about. WHO carries around a condom??
Pay attention, Lilly!
Right! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. What did you get, anyway? An A as usual, Miss I Always Get An A in English?
Well, I DID work really hard on it—
Ha! THAT’s not an A!!!! Told you. You really should be paying attention in this class if you’re serious about this writing thing.
Wednesday, September 9, French
I don’t understand this. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS.
I am a talented writer. I KNOW I am. I have been TOLD I am. By more than one person.
I mean, I’m not saying I don’t have more to learn. I know I do. I know I’m
Yeah, but what about what Lana said?????
Michael isn’t one of those guys who would dump you just for not Doing It with him. I mean, maybe the guys LANA knows would do this. Like Josh Richter, for instance. Or that Ramon guy. He looks kind of sketchy, But not Michael. Because he actually CARES about you. Besides, I really don’t think Michael expects you to Do It. At least, not right now.
REALLY??????
Really. I mean, it would be kind of presumptuous of him. You guys have not even been going out for a year. I don’t think anyone should Do It with a guy unless they’ve been going out for at least a year. And then they have to Do It for the first time on prom night. Because when you Do It for the first time, the boy should be wearing a tux. It’s only polite.
Tina, I barely managed to get Michael to take me to the prom once. I highly doubt I’m ever going to be able to get him to go again.
Hmmm. Well, coronations count. I’m sure it would be just as romantic to Do It for the first time after your coronation.
I’m not having a coronation until after my dad dies and leaves me the throne!!!! I could be as old as Prince Charles by the time that happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do WANT to Do It, before I’m ANCIENT, you know. Just not, you know. NOW.
Well, then you just need to tell Michael that. You two really need to have The Talk. You need to get this all out in the open. Because communication is the key to success in a romantic relationship.
Have you and Boris had it? You know, The Talk. About DOING IT?
Of course!!!! I mean, providing things don’t work out between Prince William and me, Boris knows that if he ever hopes to be bestowed the gift of my flower, he will need to do it after the prom
on a king-sized bed with white satin sheets
in a deluxe suite with Central Park views
at the Four Seasons over on East 57th Street
with champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries upon arrival
an aromatherapy bath for after
then waffles for two in bed the next morning.
Oh. Tina, I don’t know how to break this to you…but that sounds like a little more than Boris might be able to afford. I mean, he IS still in high school.
I know. That’s why I suggested he start saving his allowance now. Also, that he better have more than just that one condom he’s been carrying around in his wallet for the past two years.
Boris has a condom in his wallet???? Right NOW??????????
Oh, yes. He is very proactive. That is one of the reasons I love him.
WOULD YOU GUYS PLEASE QUIT PASSING NOTES AND PAY ATTENTION? THIS IS THE BEST TEACHER WE HAVE EVER HAD AND YOU TWO ARE TOTALLY EMBARRASSING ME WITH YOUR INABILITY TO PAY ATTENTION—
Wait. What’s this about a condom?
Nothing! Eyes front!
Who are you guys talking about, anyway?
No one, Lilly. Never mind. Look, she’s passing back our expository writing samples.
I suppose you think that’s going to distract me. I want to know who you guys are talking about. WHO carries around a condom??
Pay attention, Lilly!
Right! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. What did you get, anyway? An A as usual, Miss I Always Get An A in English?
Well, I DID work really hard on it—
Ha! THAT’s not an A!!!! Told you. You really should be paying attention in this class if you’re serious about this writing thing.
Wednesday, September 9, French
I don’t understand this. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS.
I am a talented writer. I KNOW I am. I have been TOLD I am. By more than one person.
I mean, I’m not saying I don’t have more to learn. I know I do. I know I’m
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