Hauer. Out for his morning stroll, even in this weather. If there was one person who could tell me more than even Whit could, it was Hauer.
I stopped and waited for him to join us.
"Good morning, ladies," he said with a kind smile, though his brown eyes looked sad and tired. His black trench coat was stretched over his stocky frame, the belt barely tying at the waist. "Brisk one."
"Yes, Detective. It certainly is," Ariana said, her southern manners kicking in.
"How are you today, Reed?" he asked me.
I don't know why I grew warm at his singling me out. We had met on the quad before, just like this, except I had been alone at the time. Plus he had interviewed me with the chief just yesterday. We were practically old friends.
"Is it true, Detective?" I asked. I felt a rush of nauseating excitement and dread at being able to pose the question. Finally. "Did they really arrest that guy? Did he do it?"
He lifted his head slightly and studied me for a moment before answering. "We do have a suspect in custody, yes. But as to whether or not he had anything to do with your friend's death, we're not sure yet. He's still being questioned."
"But if you brought him in, you must have had a good reason," Ariana said.
"There was compelling evidence, yes," the detective said.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"Just that he's a suspect, that's all," the detective told me gently. "I know how close you were with Thomas, Reed. I didn't have a chance to tell you yesterday, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am for your loss."
Ariana's grip on my arm tightened. Like that last moment in the blood pressure sleeve when you think the doctor might be taking the thing a pump or ten too far just to see if you'll pop. The twisting in the back of my throat returned. I tried to swallow but couldn't, and my eyes instantly watered.
"I promise I'll let you know as soon as we know anything for sure," he told me.
I nodded. I wanted to thank him, but I knew I had to wait for this latest wave of misery to pass.
"Thank you, Detective," Ariana said, easing her death grip slightly. "Come on, girls. Let's get inside before we freeze."
She really was becoming more like a mother every day. And I couldn't have been more grateful for it. If it hadn't been for her tugging on my arm, I might have stood there in the cold all day.
"Ladies," the detective said, stepping back.
"Bye," I heard myself say.
Ariana led us over to the door and opened it for us, waiting for Taylor and me to go through first. The warmth of the heated cafeteria enveloped me, and I breathed for the first time in what felt like hours.
"There. See?" Ariana said, facing me and Taylor. She slipped out of her light blue cashmere coat and folded it over her arm. "Don't you feel better now? Don't you both feel better?"
I looked at Taylor and she blew out a sigh, smiling slightly. It was the first smile I had seen on her since the Saturday night when we had all been in New York City, partying like the carefree idiots we'd been at the time.
"Yeah. Definitely," Taylor said, unbuttoning her plaid coat.
"Definitely," I echoed.
Now I just had to start believing it.
RESIGNED
Our grades arrived.
Grades. I had forgotten the quarter was ending. But there it was, in my mailbox in the hallway outside the school store: a crisp, cream envelope standing at an angle right up against the window. I could see hundreds of others just like it in hundreds of other mailboxes. A few feet away, a group of dizzy freshmen ripped theirs open and compared their contents. They giggled in triumph and groaned in dismay. My fingers itched to work my combination, but my fight-or-flight reflex kicked into high gear. I couldn't deal with this. Not right now. I turned around and walked out into the cold.
As soon as the door closed behind me I felt lighter somehow, empowered. I'd finally taken control of something, however small. I knew I'd have to look inside that envelope, but for now I was resolved to remain ignorant.
I stopped and waited for him to join us.
"Good morning, ladies," he said with a kind smile, though his brown eyes looked sad and tired. His black trench coat was stretched over his stocky frame, the belt barely tying at the waist. "Brisk one."
"Yes, Detective. It certainly is," Ariana said, her southern manners kicking in.
"How are you today, Reed?" he asked me.
I don't know why I grew warm at his singling me out. We had met on the quad before, just like this, except I had been alone at the time. Plus he had interviewed me with the chief just yesterday. We were practically old friends.
"Is it true, Detective?" I asked. I felt a rush of nauseating excitement and dread at being able to pose the question. Finally. "Did they really arrest that guy? Did he do it?"
He lifted his head slightly and studied me for a moment before answering. "We do have a suspect in custody, yes. But as to whether or not he had anything to do with your friend's death, we're not sure yet. He's still being questioned."
"But if you brought him in, you must have had a good reason," Ariana said.
"There was compelling evidence, yes," the detective said.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"Just that he's a suspect, that's all," the detective told me gently. "I know how close you were with Thomas, Reed. I didn't have a chance to tell you yesterday, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am for your loss."
Ariana's grip on my arm tightened. Like that last moment in the blood pressure sleeve when you think the doctor might be taking the thing a pump or ten too far just to see if you'll pop. The twisting in the back of my throat returned. I tried to swallow but couldn't, and my eyes instantly watered.
"I promise I'll let you know as soon as we know anything for sure," he told me.
I nodded. I wanted to thank him, but I knew I had to wait for this latest wave of misery to pass.
"Thank you, Detective," Ariana said, easing her death grip slightly. "Come on, girls. Let's get inside before we freeze."
She really was becoming more like a mother every day. And I couldn't have been more grateful for it. If it hadn't been for her tugging on my arm, I might have stood there in the cold all day.
"Ladies," the detective said, stepping back.
"Bye," I heard myself say.
Ariana led us over to the door and opened it for us, waiting for Taylor and me to go through first. The warmth of the heated cafeteria enveloped me, and I breathed for the first time in what felt like hours.
"There. See?" Ariana said, facing me and Taylor. She slipped out of her light blue cashmere coat and folded it over her arm. "Don't you feel better now? Don't you both feel better?"
I looked at Taylor and she blew out a sigh, smiling slightly. It was the first smile I had seen on her since the Saturday night when we had all been in New York City, partying like the carefree idiots we'd been at the time.
"Yeah. Definitely," Taylor said, unbuttoning her plaid coat.
"Definitely," I echoed.
Now I just had to start believing it.
RESIGNED
Our grades arrived.
Grades. I had forgotten the quarter was ending. But there it was, in my mailbox in the hallway outside the school store: a crisp, cream envelope standing at an angle right up against the window. I could see hundreds of others just like it in hundreds of other mailboxes. A few feet away, a group of dizzy freshmen ripped theirs open and compared their contents. They giggled in triumph and groaned in dismay. My fingers itched to work my combination, but my fight-or-flight reflex kicked into high gear. I couldn't deal with this. Not right now. I turned around and walked out into the cold.
As soon as the door closed behind me I felt lighter somehow, empowered. I'd finally taken control of something, however small. I knew I'd have to look inside that envelope, but for now I was resolved to remain ignorant.
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