my desk. I got around behind it. Opened a drawer. Found the pint of vodka. Unscrewed it. Had a good straight hit. Decided to call it a day and begin all over again tomorrow.
19
Back at the office, the next day, I was confused. I didn’t know who my clients were or what the hell. I decided to do something about it. I had the business number of Jack Bass. I rang him.
“Hello,” he said.
“Bass, this is Belane.”
“You son-of-a-bitch.”
“Take it easy, Bass, I got a black belt.”
“You’ll need it next time you bust in on one of my love sessions.”
“Jack, all I saw was a bobbing ass. I didn’t know it was you until you turned your head.”
“Who else do you think it was? You think some guy is going to slam her in my own home?”
“It’s been done plenty of times.”
“What?”
“I don’t mean your place, Jack.”
“Where then?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“What doesn’t matter?”
“I mean, it doesn’t relate to your case. Let’s talk turkey.”
“What?”
“You want me on this case or not?”
“You’re not getting anywhere, just videoing my butt.”
“I’m right on your case, Jack.”
“Like what?”
“I got a tie-in.”
“What?”
“I got a link.”
“‘Tie-in?’ ‘Link?’ What are you talking about?”
“I can tie her in with this guy. I know him. A shady sort. They are up to no good.”
“You caught them together?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“I’m moving slow. I’m going to let them trap themselves.”
“Can’t you nail them now?”
“I got to wait until he rings the gong.”
“What?”
“Got to catch them in the act.”
“I don’t know if you know what you’re doing, Belane.”
“I know exactly what I’m doing. I’ll nail him as soon as he rings the gong.”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk that way.”
“The world is no kindergarten, Jack. I’m trying to get down on this case.”
“Get down?”
“I want to nail her ass. You want me to nail her ass, don’t you?”
“Just get me some proof.”
“The proof is in the pudding, Bass.”
“You getting close to something, Belane?”
“I can smell it, I can sniff it, I’m hot on the trail. I know this guy. He’s a Frenchman. And you know about Frenchmen, don’t you?”
“No, what about Frenchmen?”
“If you don’t know, Bass, I can’t tell you. I don’t have all day.
Now, do you want me to follow up on this goddamned case or not?”
“You say you’re closing in?”
“I’m right on top of both of them.”
“What?”
“You want me or not, Bass? I’m gonna count to five. One, two, three, four…”
“All right, all right, follow it up.”
“Fine, Jack. Now, a little matter….”
“What?”
“I’ll need a month in advance.”
“A month? I thought you were hot on it.”
“I gotta lay the trap. I gotta set it up. I gotta make sure. When he hits that gong…”
“All right, all right, the check is on the way!”
He slammed the phone down on me. Acted like a guy in love.
What a sucker….
Next I phoned Grovers. He had given me his business number. The phone rang 3 times, he picked it up.
“Hello,” he said, “This is the Silver Haven Mortuary.”
“Jesus,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“Grovers, you play with stiffs.”
“What?” he asked.
“Stiffs. Stiffs. This is Nick Belane.”
“What do you want, Mr. Belane?”
“I’m working on your space alien case, Mr. Grovers.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Tell me, Hal, why do you do what you do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Playing with the dead. Why? Why?”
“It’s my occupation. A man has to make a living.”
“But playing with stiffs? That’s kind of weird. That’s sick. Do you drain the blood? What do you do with the blood after you drain it?”
“I have an employee who does that, Billy French.”
“Put him on, I want to talk to him.”
“He’s out to lunch.”
“You mean, he eats?”
“Yes.”
I paused. I inhaled, I exhaled. Then I spoke.
19
Back at the office, the next day, I was confused. I didn’t know who my clients were or what the hell. I decided to do something about it. I had the business number of Jack Bass. I rang him.
“Hello,” he said.
“Bass, this is Belane.”
“You son-of-a-bitch.”
“Take it easy, Bass, I got a black belt.”
“You’ll need it next time you bust in on one of my love sessions.”
“Jack, all I saw was a bobbing ass. I didn’t know it was you until you turned your head.”
“Who else do you think it was? You think some guy is going to slam her in my own home?”
“It’s been done plenty of times.”
“What?”
“I don’t mean your place, Jack.”
“Where then?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“What doesn’t matter?”
“I mean, it doesn’t relate to your case. Let’s talk turkey.”
“What?”
“You want me on this case or not?”
“You’re not getting anywhere, just videoing my butt.”
“I’m right on your case, Jack.”
“Like what?”
“I got a tie-in.”
“What?”
“I got a link.”
“‘Tie-in?’ ‘Link?’ What are you talking about?”
“I can tie her in with this guy. I know him. A shady sort. They are up to no good.”
“You caught them together?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“I’m moving slow. I’m going to let them trap themselves.”
“Can’t you nail them now?”
“I got to wait until he rings the gong.”
“What?”
“Got to catch them in the act.”
“I don’t know if you know what you’re doing, Belane.”
“I know exactly what I’m doing. I’ll nail him as soon as he rings the gong.”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk that way.”
“The world is no kindergarten, Jack. I’m trying to get down on this case.”
“Get down?”
“I want to nail her ass. You want me to nail her ass, don’t you?”
“Just get me some proof.”
“The proof is in the pudding, Bass.”
“You getting close to something, Belane?”
“I can smell it, I can sniff it, I’m hot on the trail. I know this guy. He’s a Frenchman. And you know about Frenchmen, don’t you?”
“No, what about Frenchmen?”
“If you don’t know, Bass, I can’t tell you. I don’t have all day.
Now, do you want me to follow up on this goddamned case or not?”
“You say you’re closing in?”
“I’m right on top of both of them.”
“What?”
“You want me or not, Bass? I’m gonna count to five. One, two, three, four…”
“All right, all right, follow it up.”
“Fine, Jack. Now, a little matter….”
“What?”
“I’ll need a month in advance.”
“A month? I thought you were hot on it.”
“I gotta lay the trap. I gotta set it up. I gotta make sure. When he hits that gong…”
“All right, all right, the check is on the way!”
He slammed the phone down on me. Acted like a guy in love.
What a sucker….
Next I phoned Grovers. He had given me his business number. The phone rang 3 times, he picked it up.
“Hello,” he said, “This is the Silver Haven Mortuary.”
“Jesus,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“Grovers, you play with stiffs.”
“What?” he asked.
“Stiffs. Stiffs. This is Nick Belane.”
“What do you want, Mr. Belane?”
“I’m working on your space alien case, Mr. Grovers.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Tell me, Hal, why do you do what you do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Playing with the dead. Why? Why?”
“It’s my occupation. A man has to make a living.”
“But playing with stiffs? That’s kind of weird. That’s sick. Do you drain the blood? What do you do with the blood after you drain it?”
“I have an employee who does that, Billy French.”
“Put him on, I want to talk to him.”
“He’s out to lunch.”
“You mean, he eats?”
“Yes.”
I paused. I inhaled, I exhaled. Then I spoke.
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