Purpose by Kristie Cook Page B

pushed it away. And the
images of Owen weren’t really memories. They looked more
like…possibilities. No, no, no! I’m not only forgetting… Oh,
hell no! He can’t be replaced!
     
    Awake at 5:28. I lay in bed, though, the
aberration of last night still frightening me. The state of my mind
seemed to be deteriorating and the council’s demands had apparently
been too much for my fragile psyche. I felt even closer to the edge
of that abyss—my toes curling over its lip, my body leaning forward
for the fall. Only Dorian and that wispy thread, frayed and in
danger of snapping, kept me from the plunge. That tiny bit of
hope.
    Please, baby, I need you. I need you , not anyone else. What if they…? I couldn’t bear to
complete the thought…but then I couldn’t help it. Would they force
me to mate with someone else? Could I do that? Could I ever be able
to tuck this part of me away and force myself? I didn’t think so.
Not without undeniable proof that Tristan was…gone, really gone.
But what if proof never came? Time alone seemed to be enough proof
for the Amadis. When Rina joined our souls, though, during our
wedding ceremony, she said nothing and no one could ever sever our
union. Not distance, space or…time.
    The more I thought about everything, the less
any of it made sense. Rina said we were made for each other.
The Angels had specifically created our souls to unite with each
other. How could there ever be anyone else? Such an idea went
against everything the Amadis had been banking on since I was born.
Were they wrong? Were our souls not really one?
    Physical pain shot through my chest, taking
my breath away.
    The pain answered my questions. Of course we
were meant for each other. Of course our souls were united. There
could never be anyone else. So…what on earth went wrong? Why was I
here, alone with no daughter and a son who supposedly shouldn’t
exist? Why did I feel like I was losing our connection, my love’s
memory? Why was all of this happening?
    Nothing made sense and I would drive myself
even more insane trying to figure it all out, so I stopped trying.
At least for now. I literally rolled out of bed, nearly falling to
the floor. I glanced at the bag containing my new running clothes
and shoes, untouched since I bought them. They held no interest for
me now. What a waste of money. I knew that urge to run was a
fluke. Yesterday’s strange burst of energy had dissipated, but my
mind felt wide awake.
    So I trudged into my office, turned my laptop
on and plopped into my chair to wait for it to boot up. As soon as
it did, my email opened. I didn’t want to even look at my inbox. No
one emailed me but my agent and my editor at the publishing company
and right now, their emails would only be complaints or demands for
new chapters. Chapters I still didn’t have. I moved the mouse to
click the X and close the email program, when something caught my
eye. A new message from Rina.
    Very strange . I couldn’t remember ever
receiving an email from Rina. She wasn’t exactly the technological
type. I knew she used email out of necessity with Mom, but only
rarely. So this must be important. I double-clicked the
message.
    “Alexis, I understand it is difficult for you
to try to move on and I truly wish your situation was different. I
wish I could make it better for you, but, unfortunately, there is
nothing I can do. I do hope I can help you get past this, though,
because it is in the best interests of the Amadis and humankind. I
believe the attached video may help you let go of your past and
accept your future.”
    I stared at the message for several minutes,
trying to understand it. The words didn’t sound like Rina’s and I
just couldn’t believe she would actually deliver such a message in
an email. This was all out of character. It must be really
bad. A lump grew in my throat with this realization. Whatever
the video showed, it was something she couldn’t tell me on the
phone or even deliver through