at 6:30 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
Okay. Youâre not crazy. This is weird. And right on the heels of Barbieâs DreamHotel Sexfestâ¢.
I donât know what to tell you. Except that boys need their space?
How are you feeling about it now?
x
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:33 PM
To: Emily Roberts
Not great! I mean, do I require that he refer to our sex life as âmaking loveâ? No. But Iâm a little insulted that heâd categorize it as a âbad nightâs sleep.â Oh, Iâm sorry . . . are the blow jobs an inconvenience for you?
I have no idea how to respond to this.
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Emily Roberts
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:37 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
âAre the blow jobs an inconvenience for you?â . . . seems like a solid choice.
No, really, if you can muster up something a little less angry than that (all i know is do NOT be angry . . . youâre not married . . . relationships at this juncture are volunteer positions.)
Keep it short and simple and breezy. Something you wonât regret in case.
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:37 PM
To: Emily Roberts
IN CASE OF WHAT?
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Emily Roberts
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:40 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
LADY:
You know in âWhat About Bob?â when Bill Murray has to âtake a vacation from my problemsâ? Take some space for you while heâs taking some space for him. Tell him no worries. And then . . . actually donât worry.
Baby steps out of the apartment.
E x
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:43 PM
To: Emily Roberts
Yeah, I know it. Itâs funny . . . suddenly everyone we know is getting married and able to spell âboutonniereâ when they couldnât do it yesterdayâand I think when Elliot and I joke about it, has this âusâ vs. âthemâ effect. âUsâ is the entity that thinks commitment is silly. âWeâ arenât like that! âWeâ are chill! âWeâ have icicles for hearts! âThem,â on the other hand, are the morons who think they can see forever. Who introduce people to their families too quickly. Who canât foresee the end of everything despite the fact that THERE HASNâT BEEN A CIVILIZATION ON EARTH, EVER, THAT HASNâT CRUMBLED.
Anyway I am a combination of âusâ and âthem.â I donât wake up seeing forever but I also acknowledge it as a real destination.
I guess itâs all a roundabout way of saying that I feel like thereâs something here and I donât want to lose it. On the other hand, I donât want to be made the chump because I had the audacity to hope (thanks, Obama).
xo
P.S. Thanks for listening. Youâre good at this, you know?
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Emily Roberts
Date: Wed, May 21 at 7:15 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
I think the best thing I can do for you now is tell you to not indulge in this.
THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. He sure as shit is.
x
P.S. Donât be weird. Respond to his email but be breezy and brief. You wonât regret saying less right now.
P.P.S. You would be good at this too if you spent your days settling pushing fights between 7-year-olds.
Â
Â
Â
Subject: Re: Question!
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Wed, May 21 at 7:30 PM
To: Elliot
To: Madeline Whittaker
Okay. Youâre not crazy. This is weird. And right on the heels of Barbieâs DreamHotel Sexfestâ¢.
I donât know what to tell you. Except that boys need their space?
How are you feeling about it now?
x
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:33 PM
To: Emily Roberts
Not great! I mean, do I require that he refer to our sex life as âmaking loveâ? No. But Iâm a little insulted that heâd categorize it as a âbad nightâs sleep.â Oh, Iâm sorry . . . are the blow jobs an inconvenience for you?
I have no idea how to respond to this.
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Emily Roberts
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:37 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
âAre the blow jobs an inconvenience for you?â . . . seems like a solid choice.
No, really, if you can muster up something a little less angry than that (all i know is do NOT be angry . . . youâre not married . . . relationships at this juncture are volunteer positions.)
Keep it short and simple and breezy. Something you wonât regret in case.
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:37 PM
To: Emily Roberts
IN CASE OF WHAT?
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Emily Roberts
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:40 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
LADY:
You know in âWhat About Bob?â when Bill Murray has to âtake a vacation from my problemsâ? Take some space for you while heâs taking some space for him. Tell him no worries. And then . . . actually donât worry.
Baby steps out of the apartment.
E x
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:43 PM
To: Emily Roberts
Yeah, I know it. Itâs funny . . . suddenly everyone we know is getting married and able to spell âboutonniereâ when they couldnât do it yesterdayâand I think when Elliot and I joke about it, has this âusâ vs. âthemâ effect. âUsâ is the entity that thinks commitment is silly. âWeâ arenât like that! âWeâ are chill! âWeâ have icicles for hearts! âThem,â on the other hand, are the morons who think they can see forever. Who introduce people to their families too quickly. Who canât foresee the end of everything despite the fact that THERE HASNâT BEEN A CIVILIZATION ON EARTH, EVER, THAT HASNâT CRUMBLED.
Anyway I am a combination of âusâ and âthem.â I donât wake up seeing forever but I also acknowledge it as a real destination.
I guess itâs all a roundabout way of saying that I feel like thereâs something here and I donât want to lose it. On the other hand, I donât want to be made the chump because I had the audacity to hope (thanks, Obama).
xo
P.S. Thanks for listening. Youâre good at this, you know?
Â
Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]
From: Emily Roberts
Date: Wed, May 21 at 7:15 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
I think the best thing I can do for you now is tell you to not indulge in this.
THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. He sure as shit is.
x
P.S. Donât be weird. Respond to his email but be breezy and brief. You wonât regret saying less right now.
P.P.S. You would be good at this too if you spent your days settling pushing fights between 7-year-olds.
Â
Â
Â
Subject: Re: Question!
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Wed, May 21 at 7:30 PM
To: Elliot
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