mean?
Roo: Isn’t real love something different?
Meghan: I don’t think so. I think the movies are expressing the way love feels, the beauty of it .
Roo: Sunsets and picnics. Really?
Meghan: Don’t be cynical. I’ve been in love twice. I think I know how it feels .
Roo: It doesn’t feel that way to me .
Meghan: Doesn’t it?
Roo: No .
Meghan: Are you sure it’s love, then?
Hutch was going away. He was spending the first half of senior year on an exchange program in Paris, and I got the idea to have a goodbye party, partly to cheer up my dad and partly to be nice to Hutch. There weren’t many people to invite—just me, Noel, Meghan and my parents—but I thought it was a fine excuse for cake, and we could get him travel-type presents, like a French guidebook or a fanny pack.
Hutch in a fanny pack would be very amusing.
Anyway, he was leaving in late August, the day after Noel was supposed to come back from New York, so the party had to happen the night of Noel’s return. I decided we’d all go to Judy Fu’s Snappy Dragon, our favorite Chinese place, and then to Simply Desserts, where they have the most unbelievable white chocolate cake. I invited Hutch and Meghan, told my parents and sent Noel this e-mail:
7 pm, day you get back
Judy Fu’s, a goodbye thing for Hutch .
We can pick you up in the Honda if you need .
Let me know if you can make it .
Love ,
Roo
Doctor Z is always saying: Think what you want out of a situation, and then try to get it. And I wanted Noel to come out with us the moment he got back.
I wanted to sit next to him at Snappy Dragon and twine my leg around his under the table.
I wanted to give him a ride so I’d get to drive him home after dinner, alone.
I wanted to kiss him in the car outside his house for so long my lips felt swol en, drinking him in after so many weeks apart.
So the e-mail was meant to get me all those things, but I was trying to be subtle about it.
And later, I would wonder over and over what would have happened if I hadn’t tried to be subtle. If I had been bold and true. If I’d conquered the weirdness I felt because he hadn’t called, and just said: I want to see you more than anything in the world. I’ll die if you don’t come see me Sunday night. Come be with me, come be with me, come be with me. Noel.
But I didn’t. Say that.
And after I sent my subtle e-mail, I thought: He won’t come.
I can’t assume he wants to come.
No, no. Stop thinking that.
He does want to come.
He will want to come.
He’s my real live boyfriend.
But he didn’t reply.
The night of Noel’s return, Hutch, Meghan and I drove to Snappy Dragon in Meghan’s Jeep, leaving my parents to take the Honda.
“Are we supposed to pick up Noel?” Meghan asked, pushing a CD into the car stereo and pulling out of Hutch’s driveway.
I was sitting in the back and I could see Hutch wince in profile as Beyoncé came through the speakers.
Hutch and Meghan are friends only of the school variety. They don’t hang out unless I’m there to be the link, and Meghan spends a lot of time with Finn and his soccer buddies—a social group in which Hutch would be woefully out of place.
Hutch shrugged. “Haven’t talked to him.”
“I haven’t either,” I said. Meghan knew this already.
She asked because she was hoping Hutch would have.
Hutch turned and looked at me, some hurt in his eyes. “I thought you said he was coming.”
“I said he probably was. I completely invited him.”
“Let’s call. Do you have his number?”
But Meghan had already found it in her cell.
“DuBoise, are you home?” she asked when Noel answered.
“Don’t talk and drive,” said Hutch. “Give it to me.” But she didn’t hand it over. “It’s Meghan, you doof,” she said to Noel. “I’m in the car with Roo and Hutch.
Do you need a ride?”
Hutch grabbed the phone. “Dude. Welcome back.
How was New York?”
I leaned back in my seat and stared out the window, blinking
Roo: Isn’t real love something different?
Meghan: I don’t think so. I think the movies are expressing the way love feels, the beauty of it .
Roo: Sunsets and picnics. Really?
Meghan: Don’t be cynical. I’ve been in love twice. I think I know how it feels .
Roo: It doesn’t feel that way to me .
Meghan: Doesn’t it?
Roo: No .
Meghan: Are you sure it’s love, then?
Hutch was going away. He was spending the first half of senior year on an exchange program in Paris, and I got the idea to have a goodbye party, partly to cheer up my dad and partly to be nice to Hutch. There weren’t many people to invite—just me, Noel, Meghan and my parents—but I thought it was a fine excuse for cake, and we could get him travel-type presents, like a French guidebook or a fanny pack.
Hutch in a fanny pack would be very amusing.
Anyway, he was leaving in late August, the day after Noel was supposed to come back from New York, so the party had to happen the night of Noel’s return. I decided we’d all go to Judy Fu’s Snappy Dragon, our favorite Chinese place, and then to Simply Desserts, where they have the most unbelievable white chocolate cake. I invited Hutch and Meghan, told my parents and sent Noel this e-mail:
7 pm, day you get back
Judy Fu’s, a goodbye thing for Hutch .
We can pick you up in the Honda if you need .
Let me know if you can make it .
Love ,
Roo
Doctor Z is always saying: Think what you want out of a situation, and then try to get it. And I wanted Noel to come out with us the moment he got back.
I wanted to sit next to him at Snappy Dragon and twine my leg around his under the table.
I wanted to give him a ride so I’d get to drive him home after dinner, alone.
I wanted to kiss him in the car outside his house for so long my lips felt swol en, drinking him in after so many weeks apart.
So the e-mail was meant to get me all those things, but I was trying to be subtle about it.
And later, I would wonder over and over what would have happened if I hadn’t tried to be subtle. If I had been bold and true. If I’d conquered the weirdness I felt because he hadn’t called, and just said: I want to see you more than anything in the world. I’ll die if you don’t come see me Sunday night. Come be with me, come be with me, come be with me. Noel.
But I didn’t. Say that.
And after I sent my subtle e-mail, I thought: He won’t come.
I can’t assume he wants to come.
No, no. Stop thinking that.
He does want to come.
He will want to come.
He’s my real live boyfriend.
But he didn’t reply.
The night of Noel’s return, Hutch, Meghan and I drove to Snappy Dragon in Meghan’s Jeep, leaving my parents to take the Honda.
“Are we supposed to pick up Noel?” Meghan asked, pushing a CD into the car stereo and pulling out of Hutch’s driveway.
I was sitting in the back and I could see Hutch wince in profile as Beyoncé came through the speakers.
Hutch and Meghan are friends only of the school variety. They don’t hang out unless I’m there to be the link, and Meghan spends a lot of time with Finn and his soccer buddies—a social group in which Hutch would be woefully out of place.
Hutch shrugged. “Haven’t talked to him.”
“I haven’t either,” I said. Meghan knew this already.
She asked because she was hoping Hutch would have.
Hutch turned and looked at me, some hurt in his eyes. “I thought you said he was coming.”
“I said he probably was. I completely invited him.”
“Let’s call. Do you have his number?”
But Meghan had already found it in her cell.
“DuBoise, are you home?” she asked when Noel answered.
“Don’t talk and drive,” said Hutch. “Give it to me.” But she didn’t hand it over. “It’s Meghan, you doof,” she said to Noel. “I’m in the car with Roo and Hutch.
Do you need a ride?”
Hutch grabbed the phone. “Dude. Welcome back.
How was New York?”
I leaned back in my seat and stared out the window, blinking
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