Rebecca's Refusal by Amanda Grange Page A

the chairs lining the corridor was a little out of place, and guessed that one of the young ladies at the ball must have knocked it over, causing the crash she and Joshua had heard.
    For a worrying moment she wondered if the young lady could have overheard her conversation with George Lacy. But then she dismissed the idea. What well bred young lady would listen at a door?
    She patted her hair, unfurled her fan, and then making an effort to appear calm and unruffled, she returned to the ballroom. Just before she went in she took a moment to glance at herself in a gilded looking-glass hanging on the wall. To her surprise - and her profound relief - no trace of what had just passed between her and Joshua could be seen. She had thought it must be clear to all the world that he had pulled her roughly into his arms, and that she had turned up her face in willing expectation of his kiss. But she looked serene. No one would guess, from looking at her, that inside her emotions were a conflicting mass of unresolved feelings. Why had Joshua kissed her hand? Why had he stripped off her glove? Why had she let him? Why had he dragged her into his arms? And why had she not recoiled in horror when he had done so, instead of melting into his arms as though she had been born to do it?
    These were questions she could not answer. They disturbed her deeply, and shook her to the roots of everything she knew - or thought she knew - about herself.
    But this was not the time or the place to consider them. No matter how difficult it was, she must push them aside. She took a deep breath and then she went through into the ballroom.
    Fortunately she had not been missed. Hetty had not yet returned to the ballroom, and Charles was partnering an elderly dowager on the dance floor. By the time Hetty returned, Rebecca was able to laugh and dance, and it appeared as though nothing untoward had happened.
    * * * *
    Joshua remained in the morning-room in order to give Rebecca time to rejoin their fellow guests. It would not have done for them to return together in case their joint return had given rise to speculation about their absence. The situation was difficult enough, with George Lacy having seen them together at The Nag's Head. The last thing Joshua wanted to do was to expose Rebecca to any more harmful gossip.
    But that was not the only thought to plague him. Whilst he waited in the morning-room he asked himself what he had been thinking of in taking Rebecca into his arms. As soon as he had rescued her from the clutches of George Lacy he should have encouraged her to return to the ballroom. Instead of which he had given way to his feelings, dragging her into his embrace. It was only the timely intervention of the crash from outside the room that had prevented him from kissing her.
    And oh! how he had wanted to. He had never been so tempted in all his life. It had been bad enough when he had kissed her hands - and what madness had induced him to strip off her glove? - but when he had felt her soft body pressing against him as he had embraced her, when she had turned her face up to his, the temptation had been overwhelming.
    That she had not known what she was doing had been clear enough. If he had not known that she was an innocent in the ways of men and women from hearing Jebadiah speak of her, he would still have recognized it for himself. She had let a protected life, and her innocence was palpable. And yet when she had turned up her face it had almost undone him.
    He shook his head in bewilderment. How had it happened? If she had been a great beauty he could have understood it. But Rebecca was not beautiful. And yet she roused in him feelings the like of which he had never known. Feelings that were too strong to deny.
    He paced the room. His encounter with Rebecca had left him filled with a restless energy, and he needed to do something to dispel it.
    He still could not believe that he had almost kissed her. If he had done so ... .
    He did not want to